Page 100 of Contract of a Billionaire
My face paled and I covered my mouth. Acid churned in my stomach, rising up my throat. A bitter laugh escaped him at my expression.
“Three months later, when you saw me in London,” he continued, his voice tired. “I had just killed those two. But I realized, that bastard, my father, wouldn’t stop coming. And I couldn’t bear the thought of him destroying your innocence. So this time I staged it so you’d hate me. Never want to see me again.”
“That woman–” I rasped.
“I had no clue what her name was. I never touched her.” He pushed his hand through his hair. “Because I knew I wouldn’t be strong enough to stay away from you. Ineededyou to hate me and never want me again.”
A soft exhale left me while tears stung my eyes. “I care, Autumn. I cared back then and I still do. So fucking much that it terrifies me.”
“You do?” I whispered in shock.
“You’re the first person to make me feel worthy.” God, the look in his eyes was breaking my heart. I didn’t like seeing him suffer. “All my broken parts somehow healed around you. For such a long time, my demons dominated my soul. They have been ripping me apart for so long that I didn’t know what happy was until I experienced it with you.”
I’ll always love your broken parts. Your scars. Every piece of you.
My throat squeezed too hard to utter even a single word.
“I lied four years ago. I lied when I said you were just a fuck. That I didn’t care. I hurt you and I’m so fucking sorry, love,” he whispered. The pain on his face was gut wrenching. I didn’t like to see him suffer. “I only feel alive when I’m with you. A stronger man would let you go. I’m not that strong. I can’t let you go. You’re my only hope for a good life. Of happiness. You and Kol.” There was a sheen of moisture coating his grays. It reminded me of clouds on a rainy day. Like the sky was shedding tears that he tried to hold back. “But I won’t force you to sleep in my bed anymore.”
His finger came up to my cheek and he brushed a lone tear with his thumb. “You were always the best thing this shitty life had offered me.”
Without another word, Alessio stood up and disappeared. A few moments later, I could hear his voice coming from his home office.
And the whole time I remained still, my body still in shock from hearing it all.
I failed Alessio. I should have been stronger and stayed with him. I should have protected him.
Worst of all, I kept our son a secret from him.
Chapter32
Alessio
My eyes locked on the city skyline from my penthouse office and suddenly, I felt so goddamn old. The irony of my confession was that I was bound to lose her whether I admitted my shame or not. Damned if I did; damned if I didn’t.
Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. Maybe I should have left her believing I betrayed what we had.
Even though we created the most beautiful boy.
Kol was mine.
That was one thing nobody could take away from me. And I’d marry Autumn. Make her my wife, but I wouldn’t force her to be my wife in every sense of the word. Although I fucking wanted to. My cock ached for her. My fucking heart and soul ached for her.
I hadn’t had another woman since our last time together. I didn’t fucking count that day in Abu Dhabi. After the drug wore off, the old feelings of filth and unworthiness came back tenfold. It didn’t matter how old I was.
The only way to heal after I lost her the last time was to go hunting. I killed the man and woman who accepted the bribe from my father. She wasn’t an innocent victim of trafficking. She was some greedy bitch. And her husband even more so for even contemplating slipping the drug to Autumn.
God that expression on Autumn’s face. The way her eyes turned brown and glittered. I made her sad again. I fucking hated seeing her sad. It gutted me. It was worse than a knife through my heart.
I should have known that Autumn would have witnessed what happened in Abu Dhabi. Maybe it was my fucking pride that hoped she hadn’t seen it. Or maybe I expected all along that she’d realize she was so much better than me and walk away. When she left without a word, I convinced myself she didn’t want me. After all, I was unworthy. I had been unworthy my whole fucking life. I just thought if I loved her enough, she’d stay.
But then three months later, it was me who ended it all.
Her parents worked so hard to keep her out of the underworld. Her mother gave it all up, and fuck if she didn’t look happier. Food poisoning and all. Autumn’s father saved her. Maybe the schmuck in me hoped Autumn would be my salvation.
My eyes lowered to my hands. There was no blood on them but they were stained with it, just the same.
None of it fucking mattered anymore because I lost Autumn just the same.
