Page 112 of Villainous Kingpin
I turned my attention back to the golden-haired woman on the screen.
I’d marry that girl if it was the last thing I did on this fucking earth.
CHAPTER41
Wynter
“You have done well, Star. Now finish it and bring home the gold.”
I nodded, without turning to look at my mother.
At this moment, she was my coach. Truthfully, she had been more coach than mother my entire life. At least now after our conversation, I understood the reason behind it and I was fine with it. Maybe coaching was her coping mechanism, just as shoving all my feelings somewhere deep down in a dark abyss was my way of dealing with all the shit.
The familiar, dull ache swelled in my chest. I was used to it by now. I didn’t think it’d ever go away. It might ease, but it’d be part of me until the day I died. Bas would forever drum through my veins with each heartbeat.
Derek stood behind me and his hands came to both my shoulders. I hated any man’s touch but with Derek it was a necessity. I had learned to cope with it.
“Good?”
I kept my breathing steady. “Yeah.”
I hadn’t told him this would be my last competition. Mother knew and we both agreed there was no sense putting that burden on him. This was our home run. Once we won the gold, I had to put an end to all of this. Figure out who I was. Without ice skating and without Bas.
Derek would have to find himself a new partner.
My eyes focused on the pair performing. We’d be the last ones on the ice. Go big or go home. I intended to go big, then go home. Wherever that was.
A tingle of awareness shot through me and I searched the crowd in the stands. It was packed. Fans with the banners for their favorite couples. I didn’t see anyone who stood out, yet I couldn’t shake off the feeling of being watched. And not by the crowd of fans.
It was the familiar kind of gaze that sent shivers down my spine. The kind that felt like a warm caress over my skin. Goosebumps rose along my flesh, and awareness touched my soul. God, sometimes I wished I’d felt nothing. Like Alexei Nikolaev.
Instead I felt so damn much, I felt like shattered glass on the inside while on the outside, I tried to keep my shit together. Be the perfect skater. Be the perfect partner. Be the perfect daughter and friend.
I just wasn’t perfect for anything anymore, but to be Bas’ woman. A familiar need to scream scratched at my throat.
I blinked. Black suit. Broad shoulders. Pale blue eyes.
Alexei and Aurora stood with Davina, the latter two watching me with worry in their eyes. I smiled, while my throat squeezed. I was falling apart. I knew it. They knew it. The thread would snap. I just had to make it through one last performance.
“You don’t have to do this,” Davina mouthed. Her belly was so big, I was sure she was harboring twins in her womb. She assured me the doctors said there was only one baby.
“Just say the word,” Sasha joined the three. “And we leave. Screw the Olympics.”
Derek scoffed behind me. “Why would she want to leave? We are one last performance away from the gold.”
This time I met Derek’s eyes and shook my head. “Let’s just stay focused,” I rasped, my voice hoarse. “We do this and we’re golden.”
You’re golden.
I felt Derek’s hands on my shoulders again and couldn’t help the flinching but I quickly hid it.
We’ve warmed up. We went through the routine one more time. There was nothing more to do. Just wait for our turn. I wanted it over with, but on the other hand, I worried about what that ending would mean for me.
“Your uncle is here,” Derek whispered into my ear and it had me looking up. The last time my uncle came to my competition, it was at the last Olympics. Other than that, he didn’t come around for my competitions. It just wasn’t his thing.
I recognized him sitting next to Juliette and Ivy, Cassio and his wife on the other side of him. Even Nico, his wife, and kids were here. The whole damn underworld. I was surprised my mother didn’t say anything about it.
The women waved their arms like crazy, grinning and more than likely screaming. They looked so fucking excited while I… I felt nothing. Dead on the inside.
