Yes, I wanted to marry him. I couldn't wait. But like this? My dad and grandma would be heartbroken. They wanted to see me married. It was every father’s dream to walk his daughter down the aisle. I couldn't take that away from him.
“No, Santi,” I mouthed, my voice somehow gone. Maybe because I really did want to marry him, be his wife today but there were a few critical people missing.
“Yes,” Santi said, his eyes drilling into me.
“Santi…” I started but wasn’t sure what to say. If I said I didn’t want him, he’d know it was a lie. I have wanted him for such a long time, he was part of me. Just like the air I breathed. I loved him; I’ve told him as much.
“Dad won’t be happy,” I muttered, pleading with Lorenzo. “It will piss him off; might cause a war. And we just came to a mutual agreement.”
Lorenzo put his hand in his pockets and leaned against the column next to our booth.
“Actually, if we wait and let everyone think about it, it will cause a war,” Lorenzo reasoned, his voice calm. “Once we tell them you are married, it will be water under the bridge, and we can all focus on this threat looming over you.”
I exhaled. “You are supposed to be on my side, brother.”
“I am. Always.”
“Dad just told me last night that if this was what I wanted, I have his support. We should just wait.” I pushed my hand through my hair. “Grandma and Dad might not forgive doing this without them.”
I swallowed hard. Have you ever wanted something so bad that when you finally got it, you were too scared to take it? That was how I felt right now. Scared of the consequences and hurting people I loved. I have finally got what I have desired for so long. I should seize the opportunity and take what I want. I have never been scared to take what I wanted before. Yet… I didn’t want to do it at the expense of Dad and Grandma. I went after the orchids, and the repercussions were grave.
“What about Adriano?” I whispered my question and saw Santi’s face harden into a cold mask.
“You won’t be seeing him,” he snapped. “Now, finish your lunch, and then you’ll get dressed. You are taking my last name today.”
“I don’t have a dress.”
“I picked one out while you were trying on clothes.”
I stood still, watching him and trying to understand why the urgency. My gaze darted to my brother, but he just nodded his assurance. Yet, why did I feel dread pooling in my stomach?
“Santi, I want to marry you,” I rasped. “I really do. And I will. But not at the expense of Dad, Adriano, and Grandma. I want to do it right. Last time I went for what I wanted without…” My voice trailed off and I swallowed hard, emotions choking me.
Santi took my hand and pulled me down next to him. “We will have a wedding, a big one. In the church with your father, brothers, Adriano, Regina. Everyone under the sun.” I blinked hard, my eyes stinging, and I feared tears might start flowing. “I am not doing this because I want to jab your father or think you’ll change your mind.” He brought my hand to his lips, placing his mouth on the pulse of my wrist. “I won’t deny it, a part of me wants to make you a Russo, tattoo my name on your finger so the entire world knows who owns you. Today! More than anything. But I’d never do it if it hurts you.” A small exhale left me. “The reason we need to do it today is… to keep you safe. And your grandmother. Your grandfather had a clause that if something should happen to his descendants and wife, the Perèz Cartel went to the next spouse. It leaves George Anderson as that person.”
A sharp exhale left me. How did I not know about that clause? I watched him with a guarded expression. Santi was head of the Cosa Nostra. He was powerful, but people always wanted more power.
“Do you want the cartel?” The question slipped out, a grip around my heart squeezing tighter and tighter. So many men wanted the power that the Perèz Cartel offered. Look at the Anderson men. And now…
“I don’t give a fuck about it,” Santi’s voice was deep and full of conviction. “You, on the other hand, I love and want. For the rest of my life. That cartel business could come or go, I wouldn't miss a beat. But losing you…you, Amore, is what would end me. There is nothing,nothing, I wouldn’t do for you.”
A delightful shiver rolled down my spine at his possessive tone. Maybe I was stupid, but I believed him. Santi was ruthless, maybe a tiny bit psychotic, but he wasn’t a liar.
“Okay,” I whispered.
“It’s the right thing to do, Amore,” Lorenzo added. “After all, you two have been screwing for a while now.”
And the moment was gone. “You are such an ass, Lorenzo,” I snapped, narrowing my eyes, and watching my brother’s eyes shine mischievously. Turning my back to him, I addressed Santi. “Where is this dress?”
* * *
We stood in the court, Lorenzo and Santi on each side of me. It almost felt like those two were my guards. I had to laugh though because if I didn’t want to do this, I would have fought them. Screamed. But I did want it. More than anything else in this world.
We’d do a big wedding for Dad and Grandma. This was just for us then.
My heart raced and my hand squeezed Santi’s hand holding mine. I was nervous. Since I got back to the States, my life had been a whirlwind. I never imagined it’d bring me here, to a little Rockport courthouse with Santi holding my hand.
The dress I wore was beautiful and simple. White, classic, timeless. The front square cut left my chest open, his necklace the only thing around my neck. The dress had thin straps, leaving my shoulders naked, and fit around my upper body like a glove, then flaring down my legs, stopping above my knees. Santi even thought of shoes. Sandals with small heels.