Page 170 of Sins of the Orchid
CHAPTER65
Amore
We left The Orchid behind without a single person getting shot. An accomplishment! DeAngelo stayed with Grandma, Adriano with Carrera, Lorenzo with Dad and Luigi.
Santi drove smoothly down the streets, shifting gears. The Maserati’s engine purred softly and memories of our last time in this car came to the forefront of my mind. It was the same Maserati he drove for our first date. The very same car he drove when he fucked me on the hood.
His heat practically warmed the car, and yet, I wanted to scoot over until his body was brushing against mine.
My hands curled into fists, forcing myself to remain still, the throbbing ache pulsing at the memory. My heart thundered; the need for him made my skin itch. Our earlier kiss had heightened the craving for him.
The silence in the car was tense. Not uncomfortable, but full of words I wanted to say, questions I wanted to ask, things I wanted to understand. And emotions I was scared to feel. Santi had hurt me twice already. When he told me the first kiss we shared was a mistake and when he dumped me after Italy… without an explanation. As if I meant nothing to him while he meant the world to me.
A cold void and emptiness hit me each time I thought about it. I loved him so fiercely, yet he ended it so quickly. It didn’t seem to impact him much. Was I just sex to him? Yes, the lust and attraction was strong between us, but I also wanted his love. His devotion and faithfulness. His everything.
“I don’t want to marry you, Santi.” The words left my lips and they were a lie. Except my pride demanded them. “And I’d like to know how you know about the Perèz connection?”
“You are pregnant,” he drawled. “Of course, we are going to get married.”
I shook my head. He knew damn well I wasn’t pregnant. “I only said that so Dad wouldn’t shoot you.”
He shifted gears, throwing me a flickering glance. There was no surprise in his expression at my statement. “Too bad. I was looking forward to having you barefoot and pregnant.”
I rolled my eyes. So barbaric! “Yeah… barefoot and pregnant will never happen. I’m Amore motherfucking Bennetti. Even when I’m pregnant, I’ll be working. If you are looking for the stay-at-home wife type, keep looking.”
“Looking down on stay-at-home mothers and homemakers?” he taunted.
“No, I’m not. It takes an amazing person to be a good stay-at-home mother or homemaker. But it’s not me.” Amusement flickered in his eyes, and I realized he was teasing me. “How do you know about the Perèz connection?”
“I’ve always known,” he drawled. “It was what caused a rift between our fathers. Don’t you remember what my father said?”
“It was for drug connections?” I questioned. “I thought it was because they both wanted Mom.”
He shook his head. “Pà loved Mamma. He wanted your mother for her connection to the Perèz Cartel. Your pàpa initially had the same motive but he fell for her.”
“Seriously?” I gasped.
Santi nodded. Gosh, I’d got it wrong. So damn wrong. Were these men all about power and connection?
“Is that what you want, Santi?” I asked in a low voice. “Connection to the cartel?” I wanted to hear the words. The admission. Apology. Everything. “You are crazy if you think you’ll force me into marrying you for it.”
“Don’t fuck with me, Amore,” he purred. Jesus, the way he said my name had me melting on the inside. It was the curse and benefit of my name. I never knew whether people used it as my name or an endearment. “I don’t give a shit about your connections or wealth.”
He didn’t?Then what?I wanted to ask.
“I wouldn’t dream of fucking with you, Santi,” I muttered tightly, though the wordfuckinghad me blushing. But it was one thing I wouldn’t budge on. I wouldn’t settle in this life. It was the only one I had, and I wanted itall.I wanted him to tell me what I meant to him. “But I won’t let you use me, then discard me. You’ve done that enough.”
He stilled, and holding my breath, I waited. For him to dispute my words. To tell me I was his everything, like he was my everything. And with each heartbeat, my heart sank.
Bu-bum. Bu-bum. Bu-bum.
Realizing, he wouldn’t answer, I turned to gaze out the window. The landscape we passed was a blur as the silence squeezed the breath out of my lungs and hope out of my heart.
Before my brain could process what was going on, he swiftly drove across two lanes and pulled over to the side. Woods stretched for miles out of my window, and I turned my head to question why he’d stopped. Before I could open my mouth, his right hand wrapped around my nape, his fingers threaded through my hair then turned my face to his. He was so close to me, if I leaned in just an inch, our lips would meet.
“Tell me you don’t want me,” he demanded. “Tell me you don’t want my mouth on your pussy, my cock buried in your tight cunt, my hands on your soft skin, my tongue in your mouth.” His grip in my hair tightened. I could almost feel his lips against mine and my whole body hummed in anticipation. Goddamnit, I did want him, craved him. “Tell me you don’t want me, Amore Bennetti, and I’ll let you go.”
He'd got it all wrong. It was the assurance of his love I needed. He’d always have my body and heart, but I wanted his in return. I wouldn’t settle for simple lust. Eventually that would fade, and in its wake, only my broken heart would remain. I wanted his heart forever. So that when we are gray, frail and wrinkled, we’d still have our love. Our hearts intermingled forever.
