Page 7 of The Den of Sin
“I don’t understand,” I murmured, confused. When he didn’t elaborate, I added in a small voice, “Please talk to me.”
I was pathetic, in the early morning light, begging a man to talk to me. To explain something that was abundantly clear. But I struggled to understand the sudden change. What we had shared last night was amazing, beyond my wildest dreams.
“What is there to talk about?” His voice felt like the icy whip of a bitter cold wind against my skin. “It was just a fuck, Isabella.” He smirked but my brain refused to process it. “After all, your family should be familiar with fucking their way around.”
In a swift movement, he stood up and went to gather the rest of his clothes that were scattered all over my room. He started getting dressed, never even glancing my way. Then headed for the door.
Confusion struck me. “What are you talking about?”
My heart ached, an unfamiliar burn spreading in my chest, making it hard to breathe. Tears blurred my vision as I watched his inked back turned to me, his broad shoulders mocking me.
“Your mother destroyed my family.” He turned his head and those pale eyes that burned all night were colder than Alaskan temperatures in the winter. “She spread her legs for my father and destroyed our family in the process. Took a mother from Sasha and Tatiana, cost a wife her life.”
His words were like a slap in the face. My mom would never do anything like that. She wasn’t a homewrecker. Was she? For Christ’s sake, she went to church every Sunday like clockwork.
“I don’t understand,” I muttered. I was twenty-one, and yes, it was unusual that I waited this long to lose my virginity, but now that I did, I refused to believe I made a mistake. He never looked at me with distaste like this. I have known him and had a crush on him for over three years. “You didn’t have to sleep with me to tell me all this,” I breathed out.
Breathing became harder, each inhale spreading chest pain.It was so hard to reconcile this man with the one from last night. He caressed me all night, worshiped me. And then he burned it all to ashes. None of it was real. Only someone cruel and ruthless could touch me, take my body and heart, knowing I was just a pawn for him. But then, I knew that about Vasili Nikolaev; his ruthlessness lurked on the surface from the moment I met him.
“But I did,” he growled, his tone low and menacing. “Imagine my surprise when I discovered you were Tatiana’s college roommate. Like a pretty wrapped present, you fell right in my lap.” He paused, watching me pensively. “Your mother fucked my father and in return destroyed my family. What better way to repay the favor?”
I stared at him, my wretched heart breaking with each passing second. It hurt so bad; I found it hard to breathe. How did I never see his hate before?
“You are a sick bastard,” I snapped, throwing words at him because I had no other weapon. I had no idea why my mother would have done anything to him or his family. She was one of the most caring people to walk this earth. I had never even heard of the Nikolaev name till I met Tatiana, our first day of college. What kind of freaky coincidence was this? Damn karma indeed! “And pathetic,” I added in a breathless tone. “You couldn’t find a better method of revenge than to sleep with the daughter of your supposed enemy.”
He moved in a flash and was on me in a blink. The anger flamed in his eyes and penetrated down to my soul. I flinched when he gripped my face, and I hated that I wasn’t stronger or at least a better actress.
“Watch it, Isabella.” His voice was low and soft, but there was so much cold threat in it; I didn’t doubt he could dish out worse revenge than taking my body and my heart. “I made you moan and scream my name in pleasure last night. I can make you scream my name in terror just as easily. Then you’ll find out how sick I am.”
My breath shook, and the stupid, twisted side of me actually tried to find a slither of hope in that statement. Maybe he cared about me. If he made it good for me last night, maybe he cared after all.If he hated me, he wouldn’t have bothered to make it good for me.Right?
“Why?” I mustered the courage to ask.
“Why what?” He seemed annoyed at my question.
“Why did you sleep with me?”
“You wanted me, and I wanted you,” he retorted matter-of-factly like he was talking about the weather. He was more focused on his clothes than me or my heart that he shattered to pieces with each word he uttered. “Now that I’ve had you, I’m sated, and I can move on to the next best thing. Besides, with you, it was a two for one. I got to fuck you and dish out revenge.”
My chest ached, each breath I took squeezing my chest further.”That is so cruel,” I whispered in a shaky voice. “Heartless. Making love should be about caring not hate.”
“Isabella, we just fucked,” Vasili’s voice was cold. “Nothing more, nothing less.”
How could he say that? It was everything to me.
“Besides, you were so easy,” he added. I met his eyes in confusion. “Your mother took from my family, so I took from your mother.”
After a tense pause and my stupid mind looking for excuses for his cruelty, I watched Vasili’s broad shoulders as he headed towards the door, leaving me behind like a worthless piece of furniture.
“It wasn’t just a fuck for me,” I whispered. Why did I have to humiliate myself more? His words couldn’t have been clearer; he didn’t want me. He used me. He hated who I was, just by default. Each beat of my heart ached… physically ached.
He halted, his body stiff, but he didn’t turn around. From all the scenarios I imagined for the walk of shame morning after I’d lost my virginity, this was not one of them.
“If I knew you’d be a dick, like the rest of the college boys, I could have just saved myself time and slept with them. Marriages fall apart every day. I agree, my mother shouldn’t have caved in to your father, but it takes two to cheat. Maybe they cared for each other. You couldn’t have gone through all this just because two adults had an affair. What could possibly be worth doing something like this?”
“Ask your mother. She cost lives that could never be repaid. Be thankful I let you live.”
He glanced over his shoulder, his pale gaze on me and shivers ran down my body. Even after the crude words he had just spoken, my body still craved him. It had responded this way to him from the moment we met. You’d think after three and a half years, I’d get used to it or it would ease up, but it only got stronger.
