Page 84 of Vows of a Mobster
“Let’s stay outside,” Marissa suggested. She seemed strangely tense. Just like when she had to break the news of who her cousin was and that he wanted me. “If I remember right, there is a playground way in the back.”
She led the way and we all followed with Emma skipping around. Soon that energy would be extinguished as she underwent treatments. Just thinking about it brought on anguish. It was one thing to see the pain in the adults but entirely different seeing your child in pain. I’d give or do anything to spare her of it again. Just thinking about it had me shaking with fear.
“Here it is,” Marissa’s voice had me focusing on now and shutting down my fears. I followed her gaze and sure enough there was a playground back there.
“Why does he have a playground?” Daphne asked curiously. It was exactly what I was wondering. “It is not like he has kids. Or does he?”
“No, he doesn’t,” Marissa answered, rolling her eyes. “I think he had it installed when we were kids and my dad used to bring me around. Although it looks kind of upgraded.”
I scoffed to myself. That surely showed our age difference, didn’t it? I was almost a year younger than Marissa. While we were in diapers and playing in the sandbox, he ran an organized crime group and had playgrounds installed so his men’s children could play while he did who knew what.
All three of us were forgotten by Emma the moment she spotted the fancy playground. She ran to it, squealing, running back and forth. She was so excited; she wasn’t sure what to touch first.
The three of us sat in the grass quietly and watched her. It was good to be a kid, oblivious to everything and everyone.
“Are you okay, Brie?” Marissa’s question was low, like she was worried someone could hear us.
I nodded. Such a simple question, but it choked me up. All of this was too much. Worries over Emma’s treatments, worrying about having insurance for my daughter, losing the job, the stress of keeping secrets, the way Mateo took my body to unimaginable heights but left my heart firmly on the ground.
Shit, did he fuck my brains out? Because the point was to give him only my body and nothing else. But the way he touched me, I knew without a doubt there would never be another man that could bring me so much pleasure. My body burned along with him.
No happily ever after for me. Not that I’ve seen a single one yet. My mother left Dad without a backward glance or a sparing thought. But he loved her. He never remarried. In fact, I never heard him or saw him with another woman again. Maybe I got my stupid love of fairy tales from him. All the happily ever afters I wrote, I had yet to see one in real life.
Except Grandma and Grandpa.Out of all the people I have met, they were the only happy couple. Maybe that was the reason Dad hoped for it. The reason I wanted it too.
Marissa’s and Daphne’s arms wrapped around me.
“I’m not cut out for this,” I muttered.
“Just think about him as your own pleasure tool,” Daphne spoke softly.
My smile came out shaky.
“Just don’t fall for him,” Marissa warned.
“I won’t,” I told her, but even as the words left my mouth, I knew it was too late. I was falling for him already. With each kiss and touch, I was falling into him. “But I can’t stay here. Not for the next two weeks while I’m waiting for my period.”
“Did you use-” Marissa asked but then stopped herself. Then on a deep exhale, she continued, “Did you use a condom the other times?”
“How do you know there were other times?” My voice was slightly wobbly and I knew blush colored my cheeks.
She rolled her eyes. “Brianna, you look like an utterly pleased woman today. You are sad but you are fucking glowing.”
I shook my head. “Yes, we used a condom the other times.”
“I found a new series,” Daphne changed the subject. “They are totally hot. We should start reading it.”
I eyed her suspiciously. The last time she found a total hot series, I ended up with Vaseline.
“Not like that,” she smacked me playfully. “This is about hot daddies and sugar daddies. Kind of like what you got going on here.”
And just like that all three of us burst into laughter. I glanced over at Emma and she gave me a big smile.
As long as I have her with me, I would weather any storm.
She ran across the little playground and over into my arms.
“Love you, Mommy.” My heart swelled. She made it all worth it.
