Page 19 of Vows of a Mobster
She nodded and went back to splashing. I wasn’t fooled that she was better now. It took a lot to knock Emma off her feet, but I knew my child. She wasn’t feeling good, even if she splashed around in the tub. Her movements were slower, her eyes slightly bruised. God, what I wouldn’t give to make her cancer go away. I’d sell my soul to the devil.
I needed to call Marcus and tell him I wouldn’t be able to make it today. I wondered if he was getting tired of me constantly heading out early. This was the first time that I had to call out sick but I knew for a fact, it wouldn’t be the last. My eyes stung and my nose was stuffed from the tears I held back. Closing my eyes, I leaned my head back against the wall and willed myself to calm down. Emma tended to respond to her surroundings with emotions that surrounded her. I would be my normal self, calm and chipper, that way she can be happy too.
You are what you see, Brianna. That’s the reason your time with Dad is limited. I want better for you.
God, I could almost hear my mother’s voice. It was amazing that despite all the times I tuned out what she was telling me, certain words still remained.
She hated any reminders of her weaknesses. And my father was one of those. She believed she deserved better and should have gotten better than him. It was her moment of weakness that had her fall for him and she found herself pregnant with me. The truth was, she resented me as much as she resented him. We both ruined her life.
Sometimes our pasts just sucked!
I opened my eyes and glanced at the princess clock that hung on the wall in Emma’s bedroom. It only showed seven-thirty in the morning. Marcus didn’t usually get into the office till after nine. I could send him a quick text message once Emma was out of the tub.
“Ready to get out?” I asked my daughter. I wished my dad and grandma were still around. Maybe I wouldn’t feel so alone. Yes, I had Marissa and Daphne but it still felt lonely.
Emma nodded her head and it was a confirmation again she wasn’t feeling well. She always resisted coming out of the bath. It was one of her favorite activities. If we had a pool, that kid would want us swimming day and night.
When all this is over, I’ll have to teach her how to swim,I thought to myself. She would enjoy that very much.
Lifting her out of the tub, I stood her up on the bath rug and her whole body broke out into goosebumps although it was eighty degrees in the house. I quickly wrapped her into a big, fluffy towel. I patted her dry, threw the wet towel onto the floor, and reached for a dry one to wrap her into.
“Okay, sweetie,” I told her. “We’ll get you dressed in the living room and then I’ll clean up your room and get myself showered. Sounds like a good plan?”
She nodded and I knew she’d probably fall asleep by the time midmorning came around. I quickly got her dressed into a clean pair of pajamas and laid her on the couch withFinding Nemoon, then rushed to clean out her bedroom and change her sheets. As I went through the motions of putting the sheets into a wash, and then making her bed with clean sheets, I desperately tried to remember who did that for us while I was growing up. It wasn’t me, it wasn’t my mother, but for the life of me, I wasn’t sure who did.
Talk about the privileged life.
Once Emma’s room was all cleaned up, I went to check on Emma and she was already asleep. I placed my cool hand against her forehead. She didn’t seem hot. Maybe it was a simple stomach bug. I covered her with a throw blanket, leaving the movie on in case she woke up while I was in the shower.
Before I got into the shower, I shot a quick message to Marcus letting him know my daughter was sick and I had to take a day off, then followed up with a question whether there was anything I can do for him from home.
His reply was almost instant. I wasn’t surprised because Marcus was on that phone almost as much as teenagers. I read his message back and was relieved he didn’t seem to mind. He was going to be out of the office most of the day too.
Leaving the phone on the nightstand, I headed for my bathroom. I caught my reflection in the mirror and stood there, staring at it. Where did that young, carefree woman go? It was hard to believe my appearance hadn’t changed because I felt like a completely different person.
My eyes traveled down the shirt I slept in, a stain from Emma still on it, and I remembered my run-in with the stranger yesterday. How did he see me? I critically eyed my reflection. At least my outside appearance didn’t reflect the mess going on in my head. My dark hair fell in curls down my back, the bathroom light reflecting mahogany shades of red in it. I thought my eyes were too big and oddly shaped but it was my most complimented feature. My lips were full and cherry red although I rarely applied lipstick. I wasn’t drop dead gorgeous but was pretty enough. Despite it, I hadn’t had a relationship. Marissa would tell me off and say it was because I kept rejecting offers.
Life is so ironic.
My high school years were filled with extracurricular activities and professional ballet, I had little time for anything else. A few boys that asked me out kept it strictly platonic, partially because they were scared of my stepdad and partially because I never had time to hang out. College years weren’t much better till I downright rebelled against my mother. That shortest fling in history with Kyle couldn’t be classified as a relationship. Then I found myself pregnant and alone. Although my grandmother, Marissa, and Daphne stood by me, I felt very much alone. And since I had Emma, I again found myself short on time for relationships.
No, that is not true. I avoid them.
Maybe it was time I stopped avoiding them. Green eyes flashed in my mind and all the attraction I felt yesterday flared up again. Maybe when the treatments with Emma were complete and she felt hundred percent better, I could give a relationship a chance. It would be nice to feel that kind of attraction and explore it.
Too bad it wouldn’t be that man.
Nine
Mateo
“I’m telling you, Mateo,” Antonio sounded annoyed, just as I was, “I checked every floor and the directory of every employee that works here along with their company picture. That woman doesn’t work here.”
I knew it irked him not to be able to unfold this mystery. It was just one woman, how hard could it be to find out who she was.
“Maybe she was visiting a family member that works here?” Damn it, I wanted to know who she was. If she was a threat, she had to be handled. That was the only reason I pushed him relentlessly to find out who she was. At least that was what I kept telling myself.
It had been almost twenty-four hours since I last saw her and I already yearned for her gaze, those deep brown eyes that spoke to me. She hid so much behind her soft smiles and those mesmerizing eyes that I wanted to drown in them.
