Page 99 of Crown of Iron
Letting go of the emotions I've fought to smother, I sob into his chest. As I cover him in my tears, the words Borin gently spoke to me whenever I faced a difficult trial echo in my head.
Heavy is the crown.
If only it weren't crushing me under its weight.
Thirty-Five
“His Majesty is waiting for you in the drawing room, Your Grace,” the staffer at the palace door says with a deep bow.
As if my conversation with my father wasn't hard enough, I must finally face Micah. I dread the lecture I know is coming and seeing the disappointment on his face. I've let him down too many times in the past months. And even though I still stand firm in my choices, I hate knowing I'm not living up to his hopes for me.
I see myself through the foyer to the room at the back of the palace. Borin and Micah wait for me, sitting side by side in matching wing-backed chairs covered in soft white fabric. The men look regal with stoic expressions, embroidered jackets, and simple crowns on their heads.
I spread the skirt of my dress and curtsy. “Your Majesty and Your Highness.”
“Please sit, Raelle,” Borin says, gesturing across from them.
Holding my chin high, I lower myself onto the couch and clasp my hands in my lap to hide their shaking.
The silence between us stretches, adding to my uneasy nerves. I don't know where to start. If I apologize, it’ll be insincere, and I don't care to make up excuses. They know why I left and justifying it as something is just insulting to them.
“I need not tell you that what you did was terribly dangerous, disrespectful, and put our kingdom at risk. You have heard that before,” Micah says.
“I know,” I whisper, staring at the tips of my shoes peeking out from under my dress.
“Yet you bravely followed your heart. I am not condoning what you did. It may have been the stupidest thing I've ever known someone to do, but…” I lift my head and meet his gaze. “You brought my best friend home, and for that, I'll be eternally grateful.”
“I'm not sorry I did it,” I confess.
Micah chuckles. “I would be shocked if you were.”
Borin presses his palms together and places the sides of his index fingers to his full lips. “There is a passion in you which is impossible to tame. Trust me, I've tried for years.” I lift a shoulder, giving him a coy smile, and he smirks in return. “Now that you know you possess the Eporri, we feel it is crucial you learn to harness the gift. There is significant power found within it.”
I knew Papa would tell them what I discovered. He has never been one to keep something this important from Micah. I'm grateful the king knows. It opens the door to the one request I have.
“I would like to have it removed. Esmeray knows where it is, so it makes no sense for me to keep it.”
Micah exchanges a look with his husband before glaring at me as if I've grown two heads. “The purpose of gifting you with the Eporri wasn't just to hide it. The Statera blessed the Sacred Gift to the rulers of our land. You are our next ruler, and as much as I wish you didn't need power to rule and protect our people, you do. With Kyron, Esmeray's claim to our land has strengthened. He may very well put claim to it as a blood heir. Therefore, the Eporri will stay with you until your rule is complete, Raelle.”
“Of course,” I say under my breath and sink back into the couch.
“However,” Borin says, “It is our understanding that the leaders at Basecamp were training you to do incredible things with your gift. We would like you to continue with them. A disciplined regiment seems to do you good.”
My heart rejoices and aches at the thought of returning to Basecamp. Although my friends are there, it will never be the same. I won’t look at the stables or walk through the hub without a heaviness weighing me down. Itwould be like tearing open a wound over and over again.
“I don't know if that is the best place for me right now,” I say.
Micah leans forward and intertwines his fingers between his knees. “You could always spend time with the Sibyls. They are even more knowledgeable about your gift and could teach you how to use it. Either way, it is your choice to make. I'm giving you a year to step away from all this and find who you want to be as the next ruler of Lucent. When you come back, it will be time for us to resume our work together. There will be no more running off to save generals in distress.”
I snicker, which brings a smile to his face, and I know all is forgiven. It’s as simple as that. It’s a choice to let go and move forward. We live with the choices we have made and don't look back.
“I have a gift for you,” Micah says, reaching behind his chair. He reveals a collection of leather-bound books. “These are my journals, which I am sure you are familiar with.”
My cheeks heat and I look away from him. Snooping through his personal thoughts was not my proudest moment. Perhaps I could have avoided the end results if I would have trusted him with my plans. Then again, I might not have rescued my father.
Micah stands and continues, “They were always meant for you. I just thought I would be gone from this world when you read them. It is every major decision I've made as king, both good and bad, and many of my innermost thoughts until the return of your father.” He holds the books out to me. “I hope you find some answers you seek within their pages.”
“Thank you,” I say, standing and taking the bundle. I set the books on the couch and return my attention to the two men who have loved me like their own daughter. “I wish I had some elegant words to say to you both, but I'm at a loss. All I know is I love you and I won't waste the time you’ve given me.”
