Page 83 of Crown of Iron
I glance at him from the corner of my eye, and my lips tilt up. “He's been moping?”
“I've never seen him so out of sorts. Whatever the two of you have is good for him.You'regood for him, Elle.”
The rest of the way to Basecamp, I'm enthralled by thoughts of Kyron. The stench wafting from me, the battle ahead, rescuing my father, it all shifts to the back of my mind, and he takes precedence. I thought time would calm the feelings I have for him, but the weeks we've spent apart have only intensified them. Sometimes it's like I'm missing a vital part of my being.
At night, I lay in bed thinking about him, with my fingers between my legs. I imagine the way he feels, smells, talks, and how he touches me. Try as I might to ebb my desire for him, I can never satisfy myself the way he can.
When we pull into camp, I'm worked up by my thoughts. I bound from the wagon with my satchel, race to my old quarters, and fill the tub with cold water. I sink inside, but it does nothing to ease my aching body and the gaping hole inside my chest. No, only one person can fill that void, and I can't wait to see him.
Twenty-Nine
Iopen the door to the hub, nod in greeting to the few stragglers completing their work for the day, and head to the back of the building. The soldier guarding the corridor leading to the offices says hello and steps to the side, allowing me to breeze past. I wring my hands, listening to my steps echo around me. The closer I get to the office at the end of the hallway, the more erratic the butterflies in my stomach become.
I reach Kyron's door and my palm itches to turn the knob and throw it open, but I lift my fist instead.
“You're not supposed to be here until tomorrow.”
I spin around and find Leif leaning against his office doorway with his hands in his pockets. “The letter I received said today, and Ulric came for me this afternoon,” I say, walking toward him.
“We don’t leave until tomorrow morning. Someone is going to notice you’re missing in the palace tonight.”
I shake my head. “I’ll be fine through tonight. No one will come looking for me.”
Leif hums while dragging his gaze over my uniform. The drab attire is a vast contrast to the finery awaiting my return to the palace. “Are you sure you want to do this, Elle? There’s no turning back once you step foot onStigian soil.”
“I know, but this mission is more important than it was when I set out to put it in motion. I won't turn my back on the soldiers risking their lives to prove the armor works, and I won't squander the chance to save my father. Once Esmeray knows we're a formidable opponent, she’ll never let her guard down again.”
“You're right,” he says with a smirk.
“I know I am.”
“He's not in there, by the way. Every night he takes off just before sunset, and we don't see him until early the next morning.”
I glance back at Kyron's door. “Oh. Do you know where he goes?”
“He used to ride into the nearest town and spend his nights there when things piled up on him here. I heard he was quite the stallion, according to the ladies who work in the local tavern. But he stopped frequenting the establishments a couple of months ago. The best any of us can guess, he's camping out in the woods at night.”
A lump catches in my throat, and I struggle to swallow it down. Those nights when I saw him riding out of camp, was he heading for a tavern or to lose himself in the rainbow of colors painting the night sky? It shouldn't matter. We hadn't confessed our feelings for one another, and even now, I wouldn't shackle him to me. But something deep inside me tells me that he didn’t go to town.
“Maybe. Ulric said Kyron has been extra brooding the past weeks,” I say.
Leif shrugs. “I know that's how I feel when I'm away from the person I ache to be physically close to.”
“Wel,” I say with a smile.
“Yeah, Wel.” He takes my hand, saying, “Not that you need it, but I'm giving you my blessing to find your happiness. I see the spark in your eyes when you're with him. He brings out a side of you I've never seen before. It's all right to follow your heart.”
I bite my bottom lip, holding back the swell of emotion inside me. “I want you to do the same.”
“I am. I found the greatest source of my happiness.” He leans in and we kiss each other on the cheek.
I throw my arms around his neck and bury my face in his chest. No friend has loved and supported me the way Leif has. He has continuously proven that his motives are purely run by his desire for both of us to behappy. And there’s no cost too great to obtain that joy.
I walk out of the hub and turn my face to the night sky. Smoke and laughter lace the crisp air, reminding me of the freedom I found in this place. This is where I learned to be bold and demand the things I wanted most. The people here taught me so much, but one person opened my eyes to the things I thought were impossible.
Something glows in the corner of my eye, and I turn to the treetops in the north. Teal and lime fluttering lights kiss the top branches of the pines, and my feet move of their own accord. I rush to the stables, saddle the first horse I see, and set off for the river.
My hair breaks free of its tie and whips around my face as the horse gallops toward the forest. My heart drums against my chest, anticipating what lies ahead. Where I'm headed is more than a destination. This place isn't found on a map. The directions have carved themselves into the very fiber of my being. I will never forget this route becauseheis as vital as home.
