Page 34 of Crown of Iron
Kyron shakes his head, and apprehension rises within me as he walks away. I should let him go. He’s just a roadblock to getting what I want. The sooner he leaves, the quicker I can gather my bearings and concoct a new strategy. Yet, I'm overwhelmed with the desire to have just one more minute in his presence. I need a chance to redeem myself.
Relief sweeps over me when he pulls a chair to the side of my bed and sits. He folds his hands in his lap, and I study the way his fingers separate and curl. I can almost see his power slithering over his light brown skin. It takes on the likeness of mesmerizing colorful bursts of light. My body reacts as if caressed from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. I silently will his gift to come to me, but without a physical connection, it's just outside of my reach. My eyes flutter shut, and I try to find peace in the faint buzzing.
Kyron gently shakes my shoulder. “Don't close your eyes. You need to stay awake a little longer.”
I rest my hand over his, and the rush of his gift leaves me breathless. My desire to submerge myself in his power is all-consuming. Our skin-to-skin contact invigorates and calms me, but mostly it makes me… I squeeze my thighs together and bunch the sheets beneath me in my hand. I want to wrap my body around his, hoping it will ease the want that rose within me the moment he entered my room.
My past is sprinkled with moments driven by lust. The desire to touch and be touched. Boys have left me breathless and begging for more. But their mouths and fingers roaming my skin have never made me feel the intense need Kyron's gift evokes within me. The need to give and take until nothing remains but skin and bones.
I brush my thumb back and forth over his knuckles. With each stroke, I grow lightheaded, and my words are muffled when I say, “I can't figure you out. Sometimes you have me convinced you’re one of us fighting for our cause. And other times, I'm not so sure.”
He brushes away the strands of my hair caught in the corner of my mouth. “It doesn't matter what I tell you, you’re going to have to come to your conclusion about me on your own.”
The haze surrounding my vision lifts a little, giving me a clear picture of him leaning in to talk with me. He’s handsome. Breathtakingly, heart-stoppingly handsome. The scar above his brow and the one under his chin are minute imperfections that only add to his looks. And that power is warm, dark, enticing. I'm just as obsessed with it as I am his face.
“What are you doing to me?” I whisper.
“Nothing,” he answers, his fingers twitching under mine.
“It doesn’t feel like nothing. It’s like you’re…” I shake my head not wanting to voice the fear that has been taught to me since childhood. But the words don’t need to be spoken for him to know where they lead.
His features darken, and he pulls his hand away from mine. “I don't take what isn't mine.”
Hearing him say that terrible nagging thought in my head is a blow to the gut. It crushes my desire and violently pull my head from the clouds.
I'm supposed to be the unifier—the queen who brings change and rules Khiros and Cyffreds as equals. Yet with no evidence, I've judged Kyron. Nothing he’s done validates my preconceived notions of the Stigians. I've not witnessed him luring Lucents away from the safety of our kingdom or heard them speak of the heinous act my subconscious thinks him capableof. If anything, he’s proven over and over again that he is an exception to the rule.
I scramble to set things right. “I didn't say?—”
“You didn’t need to.”
“You’re right. I didn’t. I'm sorry, Kyron.”
“I'm sorry as well.”
I know he isn't apologizing for anything he did wrong, but for my inability to look past what he is. I wish I knew how to let go of my fear, how to just cling to the good he’s shown me. It’s hard. He’s the enemy I was taught to fear. I’ve never had a need to understand someone like him beyond the basics. He is a Khiros, and he’s also a Stigian who has fueled his power by siphoning. It feels so cut and dry, but something deep inside tells me I have to look past what I thought was right.
Kyron stands and heads for the door. I wish I knew how to make him stop, but I've done my fair share of speaking without thinking today. My lips fold between my teeth, and I bite down hard to hold back the emotion threatening to overwhelm me.
He freezes in the doorway, facing away from me, and the tone of his voice is flat as he says, “If you're feeling up to it, you can start training tomorrow.”
I open my mouth to thank him, but he doesn't give me a chance, closing the door behind him.
After all the stupid things I said, he gave in. I don't deserve to train. I didn't earn it the way we agreed upon. This win feels cheap. And even if I could look past the fact that I got my way despite my shortcomings, the hurt I've caused the general overshadows my victory.
Twelve
Aflash of lightning zips across the dark gray sky, and the crack of thunder following is so close the ground shakes. My legs wobble underneath me, and I stare up a massive wall. The torrential rain beats against my face, hiding the sweat forming on my brow. It's said the wall is no higher than a two-story rooftop, but to me, it looks like a mountain.
“I'm not sure I can do this,” I say, wiping my palms on my wet trousers.
Greer stands to the side of the wood-planked monstrosity with her hands on her hips. “If you can't overcome your fear, then the army isn't for you.”
For the past week, we've stood in this very place, having this exact conversation. All the rest of the new soldiers completed the obstacle course and moved on to the mess hall for lunch. But I've not conquered the first hurdle. Every time I try, my limbs freeze and the instinct to look down wins. I've not made it more than a few steps up the wall before giving into my greatest fear.
“I'm just questioning the safety of these ropes.” I take the thick twine and shake it. “So many people have already climbed this. What's to say it hasn't weakened the hold?”
“At this point, the worst that's going to happen is you're going tofall ass-first into a deep pool of mud. Climb over or go back to the stables!”
