Page 32 of Shadowing Charlotte
Charlotte
We drove for what felt like hours, singing along to one of my playlists. When we got tired of listening to heavy shit, I switched to my musical playlist. Lex didn't know any of the words, but he watched me recite them from the corner of his eye, smiling at me every few minutes.
After my mother died, I changed. I didn't listen to the music I liked when I was with others; crying in front of anyone was out of the question. In the short time since I'd met him, I had done both.
Alexander never judged me. How could he, after the way we had met? Having someone I could share all of myself with, even the parts I usually hid away like cobwebs in the shadows, was nothing short of liberating.
We reached our destination around nine. The waterfront restaurant was intimately lit, soft, low music coming from the piano in the corner of the dining room.
"Lex… This is beautiful," I breathed, my eyes round as I watched the ocean waves crash and sparkle under the moonlight.
"No. You're beautiful," he whispered against the shell of my ears. I wanted to roll my eyes at his cheesy words, instead, I shivered as they set my body on fire. Lex always did that, made my breath hitch and my heart pound, even before I'd actually met him.
As we were escorted to our table, I couldn't help but marvel at all Lex had done to make sure our date was perfect. The restaurant was upscale, so he'd had to have made a reservation. It was Wednesday night, so there weren't many other patrons to distract us. Our table had a small vase of flowers in the center, the scent of hydrangea wafting around us as we were seated.
"You didn't have to do all of this for me, you know," I teased.
"I know, but I wanted to. We can't very well hide out in your house for the rest of our lives."
The rest of our lives…Was it just a little turn of phrase or was Lex thinking about the rest of our lives? A lifetime of feeling like I belonged to someone; that someone saw all of me and still chose to remain by my side. Was that even possible for us? We had only known each other for a week, and yet, it felt like years.
Trying not to overthink things, I focused on enjoying our dinner together. Everything was incredible, from the oysters to the pasta. As we ate, we talked. Lex told me about his friend Shawn, who was a graphic designer, and his little sister, Jessica.
"Is she really gay?" My eyes fixed on him with a pointed look. After learning about his night out with Zane, I still had my doubts about his contact with other women.
"Completely gay." he replied. "You can meet her, if you want, and her girlfriend." My shoulders relaxed slightly. "She's closer to your age, I think…"
"Sounds great…" I rolled my eyes my eyes and staring out the window at the breaking waves. It was an idle comment, but it reminded me that I was, essentially, too young for him. Our age difference wasn't something that should have bothered me, but this time, his casual mention made me uncomfortable.
"What?" he asked, his tone immediately taking on a defensive edge.
"Nothing," I mumbled, picking at the remainder of my pasta. All I wanted to do was finish my meal and forget about what he said.
"Charlotte…"
"What?" The question spilled out of my mouth, sharper than I'd intended, cutting through the quiet atmosphere.
"I can't fix anything if you don't tell me what's wrong," he insisted gently.
"There's nothing wrong!" My voice rose an octave, elevating like my suddenly-racing pulse. Fuck. Why couldn't he just leave it alone?
"Alright, then," he replied, shaking his head in irritation, "Keep pouting like a fucking child."
"Don't call me a fucking child!" I smacked my hand against the table, glaring at him.
"Then stop acting like a spoiled fucking brat!" he countered, his voice raising just enough for one of the waitresses to glance over at our table.
"I'm allowed to have feelings, and I'm not obligated to share them with you all the time!" God, he made me feel so fucking stupid.
"Right…" Lex sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose like I'd given him an instant headache. "I knew this was a mistake…" he muttered under his breath, sighing.
I felt like he'd struck me in the stomach, the breath sucked from my lungs as I fought the urge to regurgitate everything I'd just eaten.
This was a mistake… I was a mistake.
"Fuck this…" I scoffed.
Opening my purse, I tossed a small handful of twenties down beside my plate before storming away from the table. This was the second time in a matter of days that he'd hurt me; I wasn't going to sit around and give him a third chance.
