Page 25 of Shadowing Charlotte
"I don't want your fucking excuses, Alexander! Get out! Get the fuck out of my house!" she shouted at me, slapping my hand away.
"I don't want to leave you like this…" I managed to croak out, my throat burning with guilt. She was the one person in the world that I wanted to bring joy, and instead, I'd wounded her. "Just let me—"
"Get the fuck out, before I call the police." She angrily flicked the tears from her cheeks. Her voice had taken on that unfeeling tone once more; her grief swallowed like a jagged pill. "Get out and stay the fuck away from me…"
I closed my eyes, trying to convince myself this was some kind of fucked up nightmare; that I'd reawaken in her bed, her arms still wrapped around me. When I opened them again, her back was still turned, refusing to look at me.
With a heavy sigh of regret, I dragged myself back to the bathroom and pulled on my clothes. When I returned, Charlotte still hadn't moved. "Baby…"
"Get out," she whispered.
I scooped up my phone and headed for the door, trying to convince myself that she would stop me. I glanced at her one last time, pleading silently for understanding, for one chance to explain. She was across the room before I could register what was happening. For a moment, the heavy weight in my chest lifted and I hoped she would fling herself intomy arms, as she had done before. Instead, Charlotte shoved me through the threshold, slamming the door behind me. The sound reverberated through me body like a gunshot. I was left standing on her porch in the dark, loathing myself as much as I loathed my father.
Chapter nineteen
Charlotte
Ididn't sleep. Instead, I stared up at the black ceiling, feeling like the dumbest bitch on the planet. Of course, I wasn't the only one Alexander had been fucking. I'd believed him when he told me his friend's sister was gay. I'd believed that I was the only one he was interested in.
God, I had been so fucking gullible. So naive. A stupid girl, obsessed with being obsessed over. The image of the naked redhead in his phone had been burned into the back of my eyelids. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw it again. Her face contorted in pleasure, Alexander's dick inside her.At least he wore a condom…I thought bitterly, shaking my head as tears welled in my eyes again.
I knew, deep down, that I didn't truly have a right to be angry. As Lex had said, we hadn't been together then, and I had been the one to text Adam that night. But it wasn't all my fault. I'd wanted Lex. Adam had been a second choice. That was the part that hurt the most; that I had been pushed out of his mind, brushed off, while he was fucking someone else, only minutes after messaging me.
When light began to creep through the curtains, I dragged myself back to the shower, letting the hot water mix with my tears until I had nothing left to cry. Only when the water ran cold did I dry myself off and dress.
By six, I was sitting on the couch, nearly finished with one of the manuscripts. By seven, I was changing the code on the lock, before leaving the house. At eight, I was combing through my emails, the finished manuscript and a macchiato sitting on Saydiah's desk.
The entire day, I sank into my work, focusing on nothing else, desperate to silence the bitter, painful thoughts dancing in my head. When I pulled my phone out at lunch, Alexander had already texted me eight times.
Charlotte
Please
Look, I know I fucked up.
I was pissed off at my dad and I agreed to go out with my friend.
I didn't go to Tarot with the intention of doing anything.
Tarot… Switching on the computer screen, I typed the name into the search bar. There was very little information, other than a couple vague reviews and an address.
The only reason I fucked her was because she reminded me of you.
Fuck, idk if that makes it better or worse.
I'm sorry.
Worse. It definitely made me feel worse. He could have been there, with me, instead he decided to fuck someone else. It didn't make sense to me. Perhaps the truth was that I wasn't the only person he had been stalking. Maybe he wasn't obsessed with me at all. Maybe Lex simply saw me as forbidden fruit to be conquered.
Please talk to me
I couldn't deal with his incessant texts. I opened his contact information, scrolled down, and blocked him. Then, I opened my Facebook, unfriended him, and set my page to private. I was closing every window he had to look into my life. It hurt in ways I couldn't begin to explain, a hollow feeling forming in my chest, but it felt like the necessary next step. It had been foolish to think that I could have some kind of relationship with the man who had been stalking me.
Chapter twenty
Alexander
Iknew she was on lunch; I'd checked the time over and over again. I imagined she'd gone to that little cafe again, but I couldn't know for certain. I was too busy watching Mrs. Guzman get her hair done. Again.
