Page 79 of Here in Your Arms
She deserved better. She deserved to be seen for who she was, not who she resembled. She deserved a place where she could be at ease, where she did not have to fight for every scrap of acceptance. But would she ever find that with him? Could she ever truly belong at Druimlach?
That question twisted something inside him.
He wouldn’t go after her, he decided, dropping his hose and breeches to the end of the bed.
He—and Druimlach—would only ever bring her pain.
***
Rose sat at the end of the head table at Dunmara the next morning, a torn piece of bread resting in her hand, untouched as of yet. The hall was quiet, having begun to empty as she’d sat down. The thoughts inside her head, however, were very loud.
She felt shame, regret that was nearly nauseating, and wanted so badly to kick herself for being a fool. Overriding any of that, however, was the indelible impression and recollection of what she’d done with Tiernan last night.
It lingered beneath the surface, impossible to ignore. She could still feel the weight of his body over hers, the heat of his breath on her neck, the exquisite roughness of his hands against her skin. She recalled the way his mouth had found hers, possessive, assertive. Her first time had not been awkward or hesitant, not shy or gentle. It had been consuming. A collisionthat had taken her breath away and left her beautifully stunned and aching. There had been moments—sharp, searing flashes—where she hadn’t even known where she ended and he began. Sitting here now in the gray morning light, she felt every one of them still etched into her skin.
Maybe that was what made it all worse—that despite the anger, despite the sick humiliation of thinking she’d meant more than she had, she wanted to remember. She still wanted to feel it, to never forget one moment of last night.
God, how she wished the memory of her first occasion of sex hadn’t been tainted by the truth behind it.
A sound drew her out of her thoughts, and Rose glanced up from the bread in her hand as Emmy dropped into the chair beside her with a sigh. Her cheeks were flushed a becoming pink and her dark braid was draped over one shoulder.
“Good morning, Rose,” she said, pulling a platter of cheese and hard-boiled eggs toward her. She snatched a piece of cheese from the tray but paused before she would have put it in her mouth as she looked at Rose. “Shit. What happened to you?”
Rose blinked, startled, then gave a weak attempt at a smile. “That bad?”
Emmy winced a bit. “Eh, you’ve looked better.” Purposefully, she pasted on a bright smile. “But you’re upright and dressed. We’ll call it a win.” After a moment, she probed more gently, “Did you not sleep well? Were you thinking about what happened?”
Rose knew a moment of alarm until she realized that Emmy likely referred to her and Tiernan’s run-in with the reivers and not her and Tiernan’s run-in with each other.
“It was a... rough night,” Rose confessed but added evenly, “I’m fine.”
A moment passed, in which Rose felt Emmy’s gaze fixed thoughtfully on her.
“Good, and it’s done now, everything that happened yesterday,” Emmy reminded her. “Today’s a new day. And you’re here, and safe, and now you can move forward.”
“Good advice,” Rose allowed, knowing that Emmy would have no idea how fitting it actually was.
“I’m really glad you’re back,” Emmy went on. “I was worried about you at Druimlach, wondering if it was a mistake to have you stay there.”
Huge mistake, Rose thought. “It probably wasn’t the best idea, but as you say, it’s done now.”
“That’s the spirit,” Emmy encouraged, nudging her shoulder, grinning widely. “Everything will be fine, Rose. You’re safe here at Dunmara.”
Rose blinked down at her hands, something grateful and fragile catching in her chest. “Thank you.”
“As soon as the MacRae leaves, I’ll be going into the village to check on Mildred and her new baby. You should come with me.”
Before Rose could answer, the doors of the hall opened with a rush of cold air, and Brody entered, his cloak flaring behind him.
And right behind him was Tiernan.
Rose’s heart lurched.
She could have stayed in her chamber and avoided this entirely. She’d thought about it, nearly convinced herself it was the smarter choice. But in the end, she’d talked herself out of hiding. She wasn’t the one who should feel ashamed or uncomfortable—she had acted from her heart, and she had nothing to apologize for. And if she was honest with herself, painfully honest, there was a part of her that wanted—needed—one more glimpse of him before he rode away. A final moment to see him. And maybe... a final chance for him to make it right.
Tiernan didn’t pause. He followed Brody, the two men striding directly for the corridor that led to the steward’s officeand other chambers on the ground floor beyond the kitchen, but his gaze found Rose almost immediately.
And she felt it. The weight and silent pull of his gaze.
