Page 24 of Winter Longing
“The Sinclairs, of course, are a large family,” she replied, “but the ties are nae just of kinship. We have many allies, and some have become like family over the years. Some people live here by choice, some by obligation, but we all share the same cause—keeping the land safe and prosperous.”
It was curious, how she didn’t always or exactly meet his gaze even when she faced him and spoke directly to him.
Still, Cole liked leaning close to her, liked the scent of her, appreciated how perfect her skin was, no filter needed. He really liked her voice, which was neither throaty nor too high-pitched, was delicate but not too soft, just perfect for her. Her lashes sometimes fluttered when their gazes met, a subtle sign of hesitation, or maybe something else. There was something in the way her posture subtly shifted whenever he was near, a slight tension in her shoulders that spoke volumes. She wasn’t exactly avoiding him, but she certainly wasn’t as at ease with him as she appeared to be with everyone else. More than once, sitting so close, sharing the meal, their hands had brushed against each other’s, brief and accidental. Ailsa had yanked hers back much quicker than Cole had.
He thought she might be interested in him. He guessed she wasn’t terribly young, but her poise and confidence—how she commanded people and managed tasks—suggested she was capable, even tough. Yet right now and often during the search today, there was a certain shyness that softened her. It made him wonder if maybe she hadn’t had much experience with dating. Perhaps that was why she seemed so visibly nervous when he was close—her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her sleeve, her cheeks occasionally flushing red here and there. It was a peculiar thing, to be both attracted to someone and yet so uncertain intheir presence. It all seemed... well, medieval—so different from the boldness he was used to, where women didn’t shy away but took the lead. Where he was from, women were more forthright, they’d ask a guy out, even initiate a kiss and more. Because of his role in the Buffalo Bandits and even that silly calendar, he’d experienced his share of being pursued, mostly without any attempt at subtlety.
On the other hand, Ailsa seemed very at ease in her role as—what? Lady of? Mistress of?—the castle.
He said as much to Ailsa. “You are very comfortable here, with this life.”
That hadn’t come out right; it sounded as if he were judging her, maybe wondering how she could be.
Quickly, he added, “I mean, you seem happy here, a perfect fit inside a castle.”
Still, she must have considered his remarks strange. She tilted her head at him, her smile more confused than placating.
“My mam, when she lived, was a model of grace and responsibility,” she said. “She was warm and loving, indeed, but never failed to remind me of my place in the world—my duty to my kin. She’d say, ‘Ailsa, you are nae just a Sinclair by name, ye must prove it in every choice you make.’”
“What does that mean?” Cole asked. “What, specifically, is your duty?”
“I must never forget the importance of alliances in our world, or that the Sinclair’s survival depends on the strength of our connections. In other words, I must marry well to preserve our family.”
“You mean...like an arranged marriage?” He wasn’t sure how he knew the term, but he did.
“Aye.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
“We, all of us here, have roles to fulfill. Mine is nae any kinder nae any meaner, than any other.”
Cole’s instinct was to challenge that, but he did not. This was another time, another world entirely from his own, where personal freedoms were something many never knew. In his world, people made their own choices, set their own futures. But here, where he was beginning to understand that loyalty to family and clan was everything, Ailsa's acceptance of her brother's decision made a painful kind of sense. She had no choice, not really. What he supposed was her meek acceptance wasn’t weakness, but the only path she had ever known.
“But if you had your choice?” He approached in a different manner. “What would you do?”
“I would never leave Torr Cinnteag, that much I ken.”
“Not even to travel? To see all the rest of the world?”
“I have nae traveled, surely nae as broadly or as far as you have,” she said, grinning a bit, which advised she spoke cheekily of years and not miles, “but I canna believe there is any place so beautiful as the Highlands, nor so warm and familiar as Torr Cinnteag.”
“It’s certainly different than from where I’m from.”
“And what is that like?”
He hesitated, wondering how much he should or wanted to reveal to Ailsa, having some reliable suspicion that she still didn’t believe he was from another time. However, he enjoyed her conversation, and she’d been very open with him. He figured he had nothing to lose.
“Well, for starters,” he said, lowering his voice after a cautious glance around to be sure no one was listening, “there have been a lot of advancements in basically, every area of life. So there’s modern roads, big highways, and we have vehicles that drive on them—vehicles being cars, automobiles, that are...I guess I would describe it as a mechanicalized horse, if you will.But it moves even faster than the swiftest horse, so that what takes hours here, to get from one point to another, takes us only a fraction of that time. But okay, let’s see, what do I like about where I live? Buffalo has...I’m not sure, maybe a quarter million people. Erie County as a whole has probably a million people, give or take.”
Ailsa’s eyes widened. “A million people,” she mused in whispered awe. “How do they survive? Who feeds them? Where do they live?”
“Everything is different now,” he paused, wincing, reluctant to use the phrase that came to mind but unable to conceive of an alternative, “er... in the future. People build their own homes. They work at jobs outside of their home. They earn regular wages. By the way, we live in a democracy—we don’t have a king.”
Once again, her eyes widened. She opened her mouth but apparently couldn’t imagine the next question to ask.
Cole grinned. “We have a president, voted on by the people. Oh boy,” he said, grinning, shaking his head. “Ailsa, this could turn out to be an entire history course on the birth of a nation and the American government. Probably best saved for another time.”
She nodded, even as she seemed to struggle with what little he’d divulged so far. “Very well. Then back to your home. Yer life. Tell me about it. What about yer family?” She paused, lifting her fingers to her lips, an expression of sorrow dampening her features. “Oh...yer family must be so worried about ye.”
