Page 50 of If I Loved You
Zachary shrugged. “What need do I have of a hundred servants across three properties? The estate can afford it and it offers employment to those who might struggle otherwise. It’s just how it’s done.”
“But what would they actuallydoall day?”
“Whatever you tell them to. Whatever you wish them to do,” this last, with a rather meaningful glance, which Emmadetermined to mean the positions were more a formality to offer them an income and her, some complacence and company.
“Oh, I see.”
“The boy, Langdon, can split time between here and Benedict House, if you want. Plenty of work up in the stables there.”
“He would enjoy that.”
Emma rose then to clear the table, taking Bethany out of her chair and into the kitchen to clean her up. She felt the earl enter the kitchen as well, bringing dishes with him. He set the dishes down near the deep sink and pump, very close to Emma. His arm brushed hers as she tended to Bethany. The contact, light though it was, caused them both to stiffen. The earl stilled after his fingers had released the plates. Emma stood motionless, closing her eyes until he moved away.
His proximity, even with Bethany so near, was as always, a very treacherous thing. She couldn’t do this, she realized. She couldn’t have him here like this, pretending all was well, pretending she didn’t desire his kisses or yearn for one of his smiles—not when he hadn’t any idea what his very presence did to her heart.
He won’t marry you.
He was an earl and she, nothing more than a chambermaid, even if she no longer held that position. There wasn’t anything else for him to desire of her but the obvious. And Emma knew she’d have no part in that. Her heart—indeed, her very soul—could not survive that.
She turned to him with this dreaded look about her that must have presented itself well to him, for he considered her only a moment before thanking her for the meal and announcing his intention to leave. Even then, it was in her to beg him to stay. But she did not.
Chapter Fifteen
IT WAS EMMA’S UNFORTUNATEluck that had the earl repeat his visit to the Daisies on several occasions when Callum MacKenzie was either already there, or just about to leave. Callum did stop by rather regularly, always solicitous of Emma’s needs, several times taking Emma and Bethany into Perry Green in the early morning. She considered this unfortunate because there seemed to be something about the simple presence of her neighbor that brought out the beast in Zachary.
He could apparently forget all his good breeding at the snap of a finger, for the introduction of the two men was thick with something Emma could not name, but she felt it in the air; and two encounters after that had the earl nearly growling, all but curling his lip as he only nodded a greeting to Callum. While Callum seemed not immune to Zachary’s unmistakable displeasure at finding him again and again at the Daisies, he seemed, on the whole, unperturbed by the earl’s aloofness.
It was in Emma to inquire of the earl exactly what his intent was—if he visited solely to harass her and her neighbor with his foul mood, she did not then, desire his company.
On the first day of the next week, when Emma was set to begin her job at the modiste’s shop, the earl arrived as was becoming his habit shortly after the noon hour. Emma herself was just arriving home as Callum had driven her and Bethany into Perry Green to visit the butcher. She stepped out of Callum’s wagon and lifted Bethany down as well, reaching up to Callum to accept her purchases from him just as the earl’s fancy carriage pulledinto the small drive in front of the daisies. Emma nearly groaned aloud at this untimely occurrence.
She gave no thought to the sleek vehicle and fine horses of the earl sitting next to the well-used cart and work team of Callum’s, but did forgo her thought to invite Callum in to luncheon as she’d thought to do, in appreciation of all the assistance he gave her. She only bid Callum yet another ‘thank you’ and ‘good day’ and then rolled her eyes as she watched the two men all but square off, skinnying their eyes at each other before Callum pulled his wagon from the yard and headed down the lane.
The earl set the brake on the carriage and jumped down fluidly to stand before Emma, taking up Bethany in his arms as she was ever happy to see him.
“Really, my lord, you must refrain from scaring my company away,” she said as they moved toward the door, waving to Henry, who was out in the orchard, though he appeared to have no tool in hand, and seemed to be about no vocation.
The earl held the front door open for Emma and followed her inside, to the kitchen. “I don’t like him,” was all he said.
Pertly, Emma replied, “I don’t care. Callum is a very good friend and he is very kind to us. And correct me if I am wrong, my lord, but I thought I was my own person, who made her own decisions.”
Having set the meat down, Emma was surprised to find herself spun around by the earl, his huge hand tight around her wrist. He still held Bethany in his arms but spared her not the frustration in his voice.
“Emma, what the hell are you doing? Are you wanting him or me?”
“What are you talking about?” Her growing frown matched his.
“Emma, you cannot go about being courted by two men. Eventually, you’ve got to cut one loose.”
“Courted? Who said anything about courting?”
“What, in the name of all that is holy, do you think I’m doing?”
“You are courting me?” Her tone alone conveyed appropriately the extent of her shock. She stammered and stalled and hadn’t a clue how to answer that, and was peripherally, yet vaguely aware that Bethany was watching them, wide-eyed. Finally she said, “I—I thought you were just trying to....” she didn’t know the polite term for what she’d really thought.
Zachary lifted his brow, waiting. “What?”
While her heart flipped and flopped inside her chest, she stalled him by saying lamely, “Well, you have to admit, your technique leaves a bit to be desired. If your idea of courting involves being bossy and controlling and grumpy, then I guess I should have known.”
