Page 24 of When She Loved Me
“What do you want, Trevor?” She asked again, her voice steady now. She stood with her hands on the back of a pretty striped armchair, the piece creating quite a distance between them.
Ah, there was a question, Trevor thought. Why had he come? His intent seemed to have been lost in the last few minutes, having been exposed to the life she lived here, and with whom. When he’d decided yesterday to ride to the abbey, his reasons had been quite ambiguous —despite the unprecedented visit of her grandmother several weeks ago. He’d stayed at a nearby hostel, unwilling to arrive so late as he might have if he’d ridden directly here. But today, he supposed it was an attempt to put indecision to rest that had him upon her doorstep so early in the morning.
“Are you sleeping with him?” It was foremost in his mind, having so recently pushed out other matters. Before her words answered him, her expression did, and Trevor breathed easier.
Nicki’s face showed first her confusion, and then her mighty anger. “I am not!” White- knuckling the back of the chair, she added, “And how dare you! Let me make something perfectly clear,” she went on in a thoroughly outraged voice. “You forfeited all claims to me the minute you rode away from here upon our wedding day. I haven’t any clue what brings you ‘round today, but you should know, you are not welcome. I will hear whatever it is that you have to say, and then I want you gone.”
Yes, she was definitely not the same girl he’d married, not the girl who’d begged him not to leave her, who’d maintained that she’d not betrayed him, who had at one time stared at him with eyes so bright with love. Jesus! What have I done?
“I am still your husband, and this is still my house,” he finally responded, controlling himself from grounding out the words.
She jumped greedily upon these words. “A fact you tried to forget or chose to ignore for almost a year. You’ll pardon me if I disagree. In any case, it will not be true for much longer.”
With the utmost energy employed to rein in his dangerous temper, he asked tightly, “Exactly what is that supposed to mean?”
“An annulment, sir. It should be very easy to procure, given the state of our union.”
“I will not allow it.”
She seemed quite happy to inform him, “You will not have anything to say about it. I do not need your permission to seek an annulment. In your own words, Trevor, you’ve made your bed, now rest in it.”
A small muscle began to tic in his jaw line, and one again at his temple.
“We will remain married,” he clipped, his hands nearly fisted at his sides.
“To what purpose? To live as complete strangers for the next forty or fifty years? With our... huge dislike of each other?”
“That can be remedied.”
She shook her head sadly. “I might have agreed had we at least luck enough to have respect and trust between us—many a marriage has been based on less. But you and I... we’ve nothing at all. Nothing, save our mutual dislike and distrust and disrespect.” Her voice quavered a little bit as she spouted this.
“Can you read my mind so well then? Can you know what is in my heart?”
She gave an unladylike snort. “Can I doubt it? Your actions on our wedding day, and over the course of the past year speak volumes.”
“Nicki, I was angry,” he thought to remind her. “I thought—"
She tossed her head. “Enter dislike and distrust. And a host of other unmarriageable feelings.”
“That is not how I feel,” he insisted angrily.
Bitterly, she said, “But itishow I feel.” She met his dark gaze steadily, unwaveringly.
With a fresh surge of annoyance, Trevor enlightened her. “Be that as it may, an annulment will not happen.”
His wife only shrugged. “You’re an intelligent person, Trevor. Surely you understand how these things work. You haven’t a say in the matter.”
He stared hard at her now, nearly slack-jawed. Did she hate him so much? Where had all that starry-eyed infatuation gone? Had he killed it so completely, never to be resurrected?
“You will not leave, ever.”
“You cannot keep me.” And she stalked away, out of the salon, and through the house.
To the empty room, he said, “Oh, but I will, little Nicki. I will.”
Chapter Nine
IT WAS VERY DIFFICULTindeed for Nicole to pretend that Trevor, the man she had wed with so much hope in her heart, the same man who had squashed that hope with so little effort, was here now at Lesser House.
