Page 18 of When She Loved Me
“It was only yesterday,” said Nicole.
“What are you doing with Cheseldon?” It was apparent that he’d depleted his small efforts to possibly not ask this question.
Nicole shrugged casually but knew her cheeks reddened with her coming half-truths. “We met at Breakspear—Audley End to be exact. “And then, almost laced with guilt, “I am... quite fond of him.”
Of course, she was not looking at his unnerving eyes right now, having given up even so little as this, but she knew—shefelt—the animosity emanating from him as much as if he’d slapped her with it.
With a meanness she’d not have expected of him, he growled at her, “Fickle, are we?” This brought her sharp gaze directly to his, just as he’d no doubt wanted.
“Rather like the pot calling the kettle black, is it not?” Nicole absolutely hated that she was reduced to this person, this angry and hurt and pitiful person. “Leave off, Trevor,” she begged, her tone decidedly softer. “We cannot go on like this forever.”
He seemed to weigh seriously her words and gave her a curt nod after what felt like an eternity. She might have then entered into her rehearsed discourse on thinking twice about marrying Sabrina, as his fiancé supposed he was ruining her life, but the viscount returned then, pressing her lemonade into her hand.
“And they’ve announced that dinner will commence shortly,” Gregoire said to the pair. “Perhaps we should find our seats.”
Trevor and Nicole nodded in unison, their faces taut with the effects of their related despair. Accepting the viscount’s arm, Nicole left the earl standing in the salon, staring at their backs.
SABRINA FOUND NICOLEafter dinner, pinching her arm and dragging her into a small anteroom, where she hissed, “Are you, or are you not, going to speak to the earl?”
Nicole’s eyes widened at this ferocity in her sister, but she nodded lamely, making excuses, “I tried earlier, but to no avail. Gregoire was there and—“
Sabrina waved off these explanations. “Go to the library on the second floor,” she instructed. “I will contrive to get Trevor there.” And she released Nicole and left her.
Hating her own position, and rueful of the promise made to Sabrina, Nicole gathered herself mentally and did as she was told. She found the library quite easily, the door being open, the room softly lit but empty. She fretted over how unnerved she might actually become if she had to wait very long for Trevor to appear but needn’t have bothered. Only minutes after she’d arrived, Trevor entered the room, apparently surprised to find her there.
“I was told to meet Lord Aldington here,” he said. “I presume you are he.”
Assuming that Sabrina used that ruse to get him here, Nicole only nodded as she watched Trevor close the door firmly behind him. He advanced on her, his countenance having changed little since their earlier meeting. In fact, he might even seem angrier.
“You neglected to tell me of your own engagement, Nicki,” he accused through gritted teeth. Nearly upon her, he continued, “We spoke earlier. We talked specifically of Cheseldon. You forgot to mention this? You deemed it trivial? What?”
This was an ugly side of Trevor she was sure she would never get used to. “I deemed it none of your affair.”
“How is that?” He stood now directly in front of her, his sapphire eyes gleaming in the candlelit room, his jaw tight.
“You are to marry my sister. What I do should concern you not at all.” She aimed for flippancy, but her voice sounded only guilt-ridden and defensive to her ears.
“You barely know him,” he said in a stony voice. “You met him—what? A month ago, at most?”
Nicole frowned at this, deciding to forgo mentioning that he engaged himself to Sabrina, sight unseen, based solely on her fortune.
“Gregoire is good and kind and—"
Trevor threw up a hand in disgust. “Ah, a veritable god, to be sure.”
With tears threatening to spill, she asked of him, “Why are you doing this to me? Gregoirecanmake me happy,” she insisted.
“He cannot make you happy,” Trevor argued, pointing a finger to stress his point. “He is a milksop.”
TREVOR RAN A HAND OVERhis eyes and jaw and continued to stare at her while her watery green eyes stared only at his fist at his side. He uncurled his fingers. “Are you in love with him?”
Nicki still didn’t look at him but said, “I am very fond of Gregoire,” just as she had earlier.
It was what she didn’t say that truly answered the question and he breathed easier now.
A million times over the past many weeks, he’d stopped himself from riding out to her in Essex. He’d told himself he needed to marry Sabrina and that he had to let his obsession with Nicki go. He’d told himself it was just an unlikely infatuation and time apart would allow it to fade away. He’d told himself that he would see her again before the wedding and he would find that he was not still captivated by her beauty or eager for one of her melting smiles or desirous of just one more kiss, and that he would know then, that it had only been passing fancy.
Yet, he’d known as soon as he first saw Nicki tonight he couldn’t marry Sabrina. And it wasn’t because Nicki looked so unbearably beautiful in her golden gown. And it didn’t have anything to do with the nearly uncontrollable urge to sweep her up in his arms and kiss her senseless. He’d known he couldn’t marry Sabrina when her eyes had met his, when he knew all those things he’d told himself had been lies, when she stared back at him with the very same longing and hunger that he surely showed to her.
