Page 15 of Fate and Flame
It was room temperature and tasted stale, but the moment it touched my lips, I desperately wanted more. It was gone far too soon. “Why?” I wheezed.
Her sharp tone became soft again. “You wrote me a letter full of kindness and compassion. You saved my mother, despite the danger to yourself.” She paused, sighing in the dark. “The pull to you is still here. It won’t go away until I deny the bond. Despite everything, I can’t find it in me to turn my back on you. Anyone who gives everything to save someone else is good. Is worth saving. Maybe even worth loving. And I need to know if that’s who you really are.”
“No one knows who I really am. Not even me.”
“Then show me, Temir. Fight back. You didn’t stop protecting me when you saw me at my worst. So don’t ask me to. I am changed because of you and that has to mean something. You are mine and I am yours, and there has to be a reason for it.”
Something deep within me moved. It might not have leaped as she would hope, but it shifted. The desire to take in a full breath without pain resonated within me. If nothing else, if not the will to live, then at least that. I tried to pull on my magic, but I had no strength. The damage was already done.
“You need to eat. I’ve got a bag of food I stole from the kitchens.”
“You have a wh . . . Why can’t I see you?” I groaned.
“My mother made a gown for a friend of mine. When we came north, we brought it with us. Iva helped me steal it from my rooms. As long as no one touches me, I can remain unseen. I’m going to hold out some bread. Can you lift your head to eat something?”
Too weak to answer, I simply lay there. She held the bread to my mouth, and I attempted to eat. It was doughy and not dry, which made it easier. I closed my eyes and took a careful breath as I willed that small bit of sustenance to give me enough strength to test the mating bond for any semblance of deception. I wanted to believe her. In fact, I think I was desperate to.
“Tell me something about yourself.” I tried to be gentle. She was still fragile. The female I’d left behind at the Keep was still broken in so many ways, but so was I. We’d have to tread lightly. If it didn’t work, then fine, but at least we tried.
“My mother owned a seamstress shop. But I guess you knew that. I have worked for her for many years. I’ve done everything she’s ever asked of me aside from really trying to settle down. I was shallow, Temir. Awful, even. I think about the way my mind worked before the king twisted it into something horrid and I’m ashamed of it. I was petty and daft, but I was happy.” She moved, the fabric of her dress shuffling against the dirty floor. Her voice was distant and sad. “I went from happy to not being able to string two thoughts together. It was like he dug talons into my mind and just spun until it was scrambled. I wanted to die. To end the madness. And then there was this light in the darkness.” A careful breath caught in her throat. “You. And now that I feel myself coming out of the other side of that torture, things that seemed important before are nothing to me, but things I would have never considered seem like the most important things in the world. Maybe I’m still twisted, or maybe I always was.”
Her words were so raw and there wasn’t an ounce of a lie in them. She had really come for me. When no one else had. Without any form of training, and at great risk to her own life, she had come.
I whispered. “Maybe you’re just processing what happened to you. That’s okay.”
“He broke me,” she muttered.
“He broke me too, Nadra.”
“He wanted me to love him. To worship him. And I wanted to. But you were here, and it seemed wrong, even when it felt right. It was like being split in two.”
The familiar pull of my own magic brought a trace of comfort as I began to slowly let it heal my inner wounds. Starting first with the punctured lung and then the excess fluid. I had only enough magic to enable myself to breathe without rasping. It was bliss.
“Would you tell me a happy memory?” I asked, my voice hushed as I listened for the door of the dungeon to open.
“If that’s what you need.” She adjusted herself again, coming closer so she could speak quieter. “There’s this old couple who lives in Hrundel. They are notorious for their bitter nature and I’d never seen Chire’s wife smile. Ever. One day, the king commissioned my mother to make him a band of fabric that he could wear on his wrist that would make him a better lover. My mother did of course. She left the fabric on the counter, and when Old Chire came to pick up his monthly tailoring, I accidentally sent it with him.” Her tone was lighter, as if I could hear the smile.
“What happened?”
“Hours later, I overheard my mother speaking to one of her friends about the fabric, and I instantly realized my mistake. I headed to Chire’s home, and just as I was about to knock on the door, I heard his wife screaming in the throes of passion. I gasped and ran home as fast as I could. I spent hours sewing a duplicate, though mine didn’t have magic, of course. And then my mother asked me to have it delivered to the castle without checking it. The next day I saw Old Chire’s wife with the fabric tied around her wrist and smiling from ear to ear. I’ve never been able to look her in the eye since.”
The first smile I’d had in a long time struck me. I tried to turn toward her further, but the pain was still immense as I stifled my groan.
“Can you tell me about your parents?” Her voice was cautious and tender.
“I never knew them. I don’t know how I came to be in Autus’ court. But there was an old fae who raised me.” I took a deep, shuddering breath. “This might not be a story a high fae is used to hearing.”
“A long time ago, before I was born, my mother knew your friend, Rook. She maybe even loved him. I’d like to think that there really is no difference, so if it’s all the same to you, I’d be happy to listen to your story, Temir.”
“Okay, well Oleonis was his name.”
“Was?”
“He died in my arms.”
I heard her quiet inhale of a sharp breath. “Go on.”
“He was the best fae I’d ever known. He promised to take care of me when I was young after the king collected me from the stables. Oleo, that was what we called him, used to give me and my friend Gaea lessons at the same time. I was quite a bit older than she was, and she would always get so jealous if he gave me the attention she coveted. I think you’ve met her, right?”
