Page 120 of Fate and Flame
“I want to talk to you about morals.” He shifted a pile of books from a chair so I could sit, then cleared the other chair so he could sit beside me instead of in front of me. I had déjà vu for a moment and realized Fenlas was twice the male my father was.
“Morals?” I asked.
“Where did this all start for you, Temir?” He turned his chair so he could face me. “From the beginning, what led you to us?”
“I was working in the Wind Court. I was the healer there. The king enchanted everyone so they would never know what my ability was. He never wanted anyone to know he held a key to immortality. I did basic healing without my magic as well, and I’d been creating medical journals and medicines that would help common ailments and non-magical healers. Autus announced his betrothal to Morwena, and I think we all began to feel the shift in his momentum.”
He thought about that for a long time. Sitting back in his chair and rubbing his chin. “Go on.”
“If I’m being honest, I hadn’t planned on leaving him. I hadn’t even considered that an option until one of my experiments went awry. I thought I was numbing nerve endings, and I ended up numbing a combination of brain cortexes, or so I believed once the truth serum emerged. I sat back and thought about what that power might mean in Autus’ hands. I knew he would use it for something terrible.”
“I see.” He watched me closely. “So, where did you go from there?”
“I went to my mentor. A male I trusted with everything. I told him what had happened and he also believed it wouldn’t be sensible to tell the king.”
“He was wise.” Fen shifted forward. “So, then what?”
“Gaea, my mentor, and I were trying to make a plan to escape without being hunted. We’d kept the serum a secret. It wasn’t quite finished. I could only get it to work on sea fae at first. We planned to stay until it was perfect and then leave. But Oleonis was killed and I discovered the rebellion and Gaea left and the rest you know.”
He ran his fingers through his hair a few times.
“Just ask me what it is you wish to know.”
“Part of me wants to use your serum on the entire kingdom. To weed out anyone who shouldn’t be here. To find the ones who won’t run when we go to battle. But that also feels wrong. It feels like I would be violating my people.”
I relaxed, my horns resting on the high back of the chair. “Autus is a strange king. He has the ability to enchant the mind. Sure, you can try to skirt around certain truths, but for the most part, his magic could have changed the trajectory of this war before it even started. But he is fae and prideful and thinks that people should follow him because they believe in him. So, in his own way, he does have morals. He just has a skewed perception of himself.”
“Enchantment doesn’t work as easily as that though. I have the ability myself. More powerful now that my father has died. But when you twist the mind, you’re bending it to your will. A weaker mind would be easy, but I imagine someone such as yourself would take more skill to manipulate. I would guess the king’s ability to enchant isn’t as strong as you give him credit for. Our magic is diluted. Sure, with singular focus he could change a strong-willed mind for a certain length of time, but not forever.”
“That’s interesting. I had no idea he had that limitation. I just assumed he chose not to use it. I’ve seen him do it a thousand times or more. He would enchant each person I healed so they would not remember my ability. He enchanted a whole ballroom to forget my power.”
“It is nothing to remove a memory, Temir. A simple pluck of a thread in the mind. Using magic to control someone or larger groups to do something for a long period of time, that’s a greater feat, for sure.”
I thought back to all the times I’d seen Autus struggle with his magic after I received Oravan’s ring. Of course. He wanted people to believe it was a powerful threat.
“Which brings me back to your serum. What would you have me do with it, Temir? If I used it on the entire kingdom, would you feel guilty or responsible for that violation?”
“Today, I went to a secret city hidden on the very tip of the Wind Court. I stood in front of a fae, my father, and begged him for help. He refused because he is safe in his bubble. He claims to be blessed by the gods and therefore safe from everything that happens here.” I reached down and picked a book from the floor just to occupy my hands. “I’d never known where I came from. I had no idea I was kidnapped and sold to Autus. I think if any other fae stood there today, in my shoes, they would have felt robbed of a life they could have had.”
“But you didn’t?” he asked.
“No. I felt . . . abandoned.”
He leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling.
“I would give you my blessing to do whatever you wanted with that serum because I have realized something I’ve been missing in this whole adventure.”
“What?”
“Family isn’t just your blood, Fenlas. It’s who you decide to stand beside and fight with no matter who is right or wrong. That male was not my family. But Gaea? She stood there and defended me. Greeve was ready to cleave across the room and take his head off. That’s what a family does for each other. I didn’t think I belonged here. I thought I was supposed to move on and find something else after this was all over, but today I realized this is where I’m supposed to be. Choice after choice and fight after fight all happened so I could be in this one place. With you and with your mate. With my family. Even if we are still trying to figure out where we all fit.”
“Trust me, no one knows where they fit. We just do.”
“So, what will you do?” I asked him.
“I’d like you to make a store of serum. I don’t think I’ll be using it today, but as we go to war, we may need it.”
“Consider it done.” I stood and made it halfway across the room before he stopped me.
