Page 18 of Bleeding Hearts
I turn to them, and then back to the man. “He was watching kiddie porn. His computer was full of it. No one knows who exposed him, but it’s everywhere.”
I know who reported him—whoever is behind Risk. He quit, and I’m betting he tried to tell someone and paid the price.
I guess they were right. This game just became real.
It’s not an official meeting, but Autumn stands before me with Liam at her side. We are leaning against the side of the library since they asked to meet for an update. “Anything?” she murmurs.
“The first game was last night.” Glancing around, I lower my voice. “Someone died, Autumn.”
“I fucking knew it. There were rumors, but we couldn’t find anything. I even called some contacts at the morgue, but they are covering up the body. The family was probably paid off. And the kid on campus today?” she mutters. “Suspicious.”
“If you report it or spill their secrets, they spill yours,” I admit nervously. “That’s what I found out, so we need to be careful. They must have eyes and ears everywhere. I think this is waymore connected than we first thought. This doesn’t just feel like a game. This feels like . . . power.”
“I agree,” Liam murmurs. “Some guys on the team are scared. They entered but are afraid to back out. They wouldn’t speak to me about it though.”
“We need to be careful. Alice, don’t go too deep into it, okay? Just stick to the fringes like we talked about and dig, nothing else,” Autumn reminds me.
“Of course,” I lie, my voice slightly high-pitched, but they probably read it as anxiety. “I’ll keep you updated on what I find.”
“Good, so will we. If you’re right, we need to move slowly and trust nobody. Fucking Risk, we can’t let it end like—” She slams her mouth shut.
“Like the night Tommy died?” I finish for her. “You’re right. This city can’t go through something like that again. There’s been too much death and destruction. We need to stop this. We will.” My phone buzzes, and I pull it out.
Gia: One of these days, I will stop updating you on my friend’s whereabouts, but not today. Lally is at Lola’s house party. She’s drunk. Good luck.
Swearing, I glance at Autumn and Liam. “Sorry, but I need to deal with this. Let me know what you find out, okay?”
“Sure thing. Are you good?” Liam asks. “Need our help?”
“No, I can handle this.” I slip my phone into my pocket, hoping I’m right, but Lally is my responsibility.
I should have known she would turn to drinking and partying after last night. I guess it’s time to clean up her mess again.
CHAPTER NINE
Iprobably shouldn’t drink—who knows when the next game will be—but I need to forget my dream. I need to forget the sight of Alice’s eyes sliding shut under the water as she almost drowned.
When will she stop coming after me? Can’t she see I’m beyond saving? It haunts me, and because I’m so fucking weak and useless, I turn to alcohol to numb my worries.
Even with all the people surrounding me, I feel so alone.
I’m the mess my father called me.
Fuck. I haven’t thought about my parents in forever, so why tonight of all nights? I know Alice and Evan are curious about them, since I don’t speak much about what happened. We all have our own tragic stories as the orphans of Pine Valley.
Only, mine aren’t dead.
My father stopped talking to me when he realized I wasn’t as forgiving of his sins as my mother was. She wasn’t a fighter, but she raised one. She said I spoke like a hurricane, lashing him with my wrath, and his fragile masculinity couldn’t handle that, so I lost both of them because I refused to break for a man’s will.
I always thought she was so weak for choosing him, but maybe I am the weak one. I don’t feel like a hurricane right now.
I was okay back then, even after losing them, because I had Evan and Tommy, but then I didn’t. I’m alone again, and sometimes I wonder if there’s such a thing as being too okay being alone.
Even now, people approach me and I turn away. They aren’t worth the eventual pain. Either they will leave me or they will die, and I can’t handle that anymore, so I shut myself off. When I look in the mirror, though, all I see is a stranger with haunted eyes staring back at me.
I stopped feeling like Lally the night Tommy died. I stopped feeling like Laila Stewart the night my father first hit me and I hit him back.
I lost my innocence so many times that maybe I’ll never be able to find who I truly am again, and I will always be this lost little girl.
