Page 27 of Bleeding Hearts
I can do it. I’ve survived much worse than this.
I jerk upright at the first scream, and I watch as the masked men head to the first coffin with buckets and tip them inside.Snakes tumble out and in with the girl whose terrified screams fill the air, then suddenly, they cut off, the lid closed.
Then it’s my turn. The masked people appear above me with bright red buckets in hand, and I know what’s in them. I can see their shadows, and I feel sick.
I want to run away, but then I remind myself why I’m doing this. I can’t afford to fail.
It’s only some spiders.
It’s just five minutes.
I won’t die.
I repeat it over and over.
I swallow my pride for her. I would say I swallow my dignity as well, but that has long since disappeared as I stare up at the masked person. I have no doubt I look terrified as they tip up the buckets and huge black spiders hit my body.
Panic claws at me, and I try to brush them off, but it’s no use. Closing my eyes, I force myself to lie still, which is easier said than done. They crawl across me, their weight tugging at my clothing and their legs touching my skin, making me shudder. Tears squeeze from my eyes, so I force them open, refusing to fail.
“Time starts now.”
The coffin door snaps shut with an automated click, and I get my last look at light before I’m plunged into darkness.
Everything seems enhanced. My breathing is loud, and the walls are closing in around me. Too close. Too small. I can breathe. I’m losing air. I can feel them everywhere, touching me . . . crawling over me. I start to hyperventilate.
A hairy leg slides across my cheek, and I want to scream, but I swallow it down, terrified that if I open my mouth, one of them will crawl inside. Another brushes my hair, making me jerk. More move across my hands and legs, even as I keep themsnapped close to my body so they can’t get into my clothes. I feel one spindly leg touch my ear and a whine slips free.
Focus on something else. Focus on anything but this.
I start to count backwards as my eyes strain in the darkness, trying to cling to anything but the sensation of them crawling across my body, but it doesn’t work.
My brain fizzles until I finally land on Alice.
I visualize her smile and how her eyes sparkle like stars when she looks at me. I see her innocence, despite everything, and hear her laughter. It’s a sound I crave. She fills my head, and I close my eyes, focusing on her, and then that night floods back unbidden.
“I’m scared of the dark, Lally.” Her small voice haunts me.
“Come on, cutie, something must scare you more than the dark,” I whisper as we huddle together under the desk. There are tears in her eyes, and her brother’s blood is on her hands. She looks so young and scared. I don’t blame her, but I try to lighten the mood.
“Spiders,” she croaks. “I hate spiders so much, I can’t even sleep if I know there’s one in the room with me.”
“Well, at least there are no spiders here, okay? We are going to be alright. Your brother is going to be fine, I promise, and I’m right here with you. I’ll always be right here with you. I won’t ever let anything happen to you.”
“Promise?” she whispers so trustingly, it makes my heart crack.
I squeeze her hand, tucking her under my arm as we hide in the dark. “I promise. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll keep you safe, Alice.”
I blink my eyes open so I don’t see anything else from that night. It’s hard to think of anything good that happened then without thinking about all the bad, and right now is not the timeto think of him, not when I’m trapped in the dark with nothing but my thoughts.
A leg touches my eyeball, and I scream, jerking up and smacking my head against the wood so hard I fall back with a groan, a whine leaving me when something crawls along my lips. Tickling legs slip into my open mouth. Spitting and gagging, I brush off my face and cover it with my hands. My warm breath hits my palms as I try not to panic.
I never told her, but spiders terrify me too.
A lot.
When I was younger, the kid next door would throw them at me and put them down my clothes. My parents always said it was because he liked me, but I hated it. When we were having a sleepover with my friends, he snuck over and threw them into my tent and closed it. Since that day, they’ve scared the shit out of me.
He was an ass. No matter what my parents said, it was terrifying. You shouldn’t scare the people you like. Even as a kid, I understood that.
