Page 55 of The Forsaken
“I wish I’d known him.”
“So do I. But if Will hadn’t died, you wouldn’t be here. He’d not have allowed Hugh to force this marriage.”
Kate didn’t reply. She’d initially believed that her father had misinterpreted Hugh’s comments, but she knew better now. Hugh had known what he was about when he escorted her home. He’d planned it all, and had admitted to it once when in his cups.
“No, I don’t suppose I would be,” she finally said.
“He is kind to you, isn’t he, in private?” Guy asked, concern in his eyes. Kate could see that he genuinely cared.
“Yes, he is,” she reassured him. “Sometimes I still can’t believe how it all worked out. The Church teaches us not to question God’s will, but at times it’s difficult to understand why certain things happen.”
“It’s not God’s will; it’s the will of man,” Guy replied, his tone bitter.
“How do you mean?”
“Do you think it’s God’s will that thousands of good men should die fighting over who’s the rightful king? Each claimant believes God is on his side. But I don’t think God cares, one way or another. If He did, He’d let His will be known and not allow the senseless slaughter. Instead, you have powerful men fighting for more power and more wealth under the pretense of doing God’s will.”
“You don’t believe their cause is just?” Kate asked, surprised by the cynicism of Guy’s argument.
“I believe that every man on a battlefield has his own cause, and it’s not the divine right of their champion. The nobles fight for power. The knights fight for their lord, even if they don’t agree with his chosen side. The common men fight because they have no choice. They’ve been called to arms by their lord and they have no right to refuse. Their only hope is that they’ll live to see another day. When all is said and done, thousands of women areleft widowed and children are left fatherless and defenseless. Some manage to survive, but many don’t. Can that really be a part of God’s plan?”
“I don’t know, Guy. I never thought of it that way. I never questioned anything before. I did what I was told and worried about not being dutiful enough.”And this is where it got me, Kate thought, but didn’t speak the words out loud. “I wonder if my brothers ever felt this way.”
“Probably not. They would have benefited greatly from Edward taking the throne, so they were fighting to further their own interests. That’s always good motivation.”
“Will you fight again?”
“I must. I’ve taken an oath of allegiance to the Earl of Stanwyck. He’s my liege lord and I owe him my service. As soon as I regain full use of my arm, I’ll take up the sword again.”
“Even if you don’t support the cause he’s fighting for?”
“Even if I don’t support the cause. I have a duty, as does Hugh. We’re bound for life.”
“My mother said that women are victims of circumstance and their fathers’ scheming, but I now see that men are just as trapped by the expectations of their station. Is anyone truly free?”
“I don’t think so. Everyone owes their allegiance to someone, whether it’s their sovereign, their lord, or the Church. Even the king is at the mercy of his supporters. Edward can lose the throne just as easily as he gained it should Warwick turn against him. He’s nothing but a puppet, his strings pulled by his illustrious cousin. Your cousin.”
“That borders on treason, Guy,” Kate remarked, surprised that Guy would even voice such thoughts.
“Will you tell on me?” Guy asked, suddenly towering above her. “Will you see me executed for sharing my thoughts with the only person I truly trust in this world?”
“You can say anything to me. I would never betray you. I’d risk my life for you,” Kate exclaimed. She hadn’t meant to say so much, but once the words were out, she realized they were true. She’d do anything to protect Guy.
Kate’s cheeks grew uncomfortably warm as Guy’s gaze softened and a smile tugged at his lips. She’d betrayed herself, just as he’d probably hoped she would when he’d challenged her. Her breath quickened. Guy was too close. She could smell the wool of his doublet and the musky scent of his skin. His eyes darkened with desire and he leaned toward her, his arm encircling her waist.
Kate pushed Guy away and took a panicked step back. If she didn’t put some distance between them, he’d kiss her and then she’d be lost. If she ever allowed herself to give in to her feelings for Guy, there’d be no going back. She belonged to Hugh, regardless of how he’d come to possess her, and the only way out for her was death, either Hugh’s or hers.
Kate cried out as something soft squelched beneath her foot and a miserable howl pierced the air.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Hamish,” she cried. She’d stepped on the puppy’s paw, and its eyes were huge with pain. Kate bent down and picked up the little dog and held it to her bosom. Her eyes filled with tears, partly for the dog and partly for herself. The puppy howled for a little while longer but then burrowed its nose into Kate’s bodice. “I think we should be getting back.”
“As you wish,” Guy replied, looking shamefaced.
“Guy, I…”
“Kate, forgive me,” he interrupted. “I was out of line. It’ll never happen again. Please say we can still be friends.”
“Of course we can still be friends. You’re my only real friend in this place,” Kate added to lighten the mood between them. “You’re the only person who actually talks to me.”
