Page 110 of The Forsaken
She pulled away from him and met his fierce gaze. “Guy de Rosel, hear me now, for what I have to say will not change. I willnever be with you or allow you to raise our child if you lift a hand to your brother. Never. You and I have sinned against Hugh, and we will have to live with our actions and atone for our betrayal for the rest of our days, but I will not—I repeat—I will not live with Hugh’s blood on my hands.”
Guy stared at her in shock. “Who said anything about blood?”
“How else can we live together openly, as husband and wife?”
“I will speak to Hugh. I will explain things to him and ask him to step aside.”
“Guy, divorce is not sanctioned by the Church. You know that. Even if Hugh came around in time and forfeited his conjugal rights, the child would still be his by law. As would I.”
“There’s annulment.”
Kate stared at Guy. He was understandably upset, but what he was suggesting was lunacy. How could Kate and Hugh possibly get an annulment after five years of marriage and a child on the way? They could hardly claim non-consummation.
“Kate, there are many grounds for annulment: fraud, coercion, fear, misrepresentation. If we can get Hugh to admit he coerced you into marriage—which, let’s be honest, he did—we have a case.”
“Guy, this might come as a shock to you, but most young women are coerced into marriage, most often by their fathers. And they’re all afraid and ignorant of what marriage truly entails, but if those were all grounds for an annulment, half the marriages in the kingdom would fall apart. I agreed to marry Hugh. I stood in front of the priest, of my own volition, and made my vows. I will not use church doctrine as a scapegoat for my sins.”
Guy grabbed Kate by the arms and shook her. “Kate, be reasonable. It’s our only chance.”
Kate was about to reply when she saw a flash of rust amid the green of new foliage. Guy’s head whipped around, just in time to see Joan emerging from the trees, her cheeks ruddy with exertion, her rust-colored skirt billowing in the breeze.
“There ye are. I was beginning to worry. Ye’d been gone a good while.”
Guy instantly released Kate, but she wasn’t sure how much of their altercation Joan had heard. Possibly nothing, but she must have seen that the discussion between Kate and Guy had been heated, and private.
Joan pinned Guy with a steely stare. “Guy, will ye escort Kate back to the keep, or shall she walk back with me?”
“You go back with Nurse, Kate. I’ll be on my way.” Guy gave the women a stiff bow and disappeared down the track, walking away from the castle and deeper into the woods. Kate had no idea where he might be going, but it didn’t matter. She meekly followed Joan down the path, suddenly exhausted.
“Everything all right between ye two?” Joan asked as they rounded the bend.
“Guy didn’t think I should be out alone, is all,” Kate lied. Being deceitful didn’t come easily to her, but there wasn’t much choice. Going forward, deceit would be a way of life.
“And he’s right. Ye should have asked Eleanor to accompany ye, as I suggested. I know ye two don’t get on at times, but she’s yer sister by marriage, so ye must help each other. She’s not been herself since Adam left, or have ye not noticed? ‘Brethren, if a man—or woman—,’” Joan added, “‘is overtaken in any trespass, ye who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest ye also be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ’.”
“I’ll ask her next time,” Kate muttered, duly chastised. Joan didn’t often quote the Scripture, but when she did, it found its mark, like an arrow to the heart.
They walked the rest of the way in silence, each lost in her own thoughts.
SIXTY-EIGHT
Kate curled up on the window seat and rested her head against the cool stone of the wall, both physically tired and emotionally drained by the morning’s events. The confrontation with Guy had been unexpected and eye-opening. She’d foolishly assumed he would step aside and allow Hugh to raise his child, but she’d been woefully misguided. Guy was no longer the obedient younger sibling. He’d matured and seen more than his fair share of death. He loved her and was prepared to fight for her, even if that meant confronting Hugh and appealing to the Church. Guy would lay claim to his child, whether she agreed to it or not, believing that Hugh cared for him enough to forgive him and agree to his terms. Kate had her doubts. Hugh was not a man who would look kindly upon being cuckolded and deceived. He was prideful and possessed of a hot temper. He forgave easily enough, she’d grant him that, but this time, there was much to forgive.
Not for the first time, Kate wished she could talk matters over with her mother. Anne Dancy would have been shocked and possibly appalled by her daughter’s behavior, but she would have offered practical advice, as she always had. Surely Kate wasn’t the first woman to find herself in this position, and Hugh wouldn’t be alone in mistakenly believing the child his wife carried was his. Unless Guy told him otherwise.
Kate angrily wiped away a tear that slid down her cheek. Until that moment, she hadn’t permitted herself to imagine what life with Guy would be like. She’d indulged in romantic fantasies from time to time, but her imagination never strayed as far as marriage. To marry Guy and raise their child together was a dream of such shining brilliance that she didn’t even dare entertain it. It could never be, and she would not allow her mind to wander down the dark, twisted alley that beckoned her to consider the only solution that would make the dream a reality. Never. She had made a vow before God and she would honor it, no matter what, and if something happened to Hugh, she’s have no hand in it, and neither would Guy.
Kate heaved herself to her feet as a wave of nausea washed over her. She grabbed for the basin and was sick, expelling her dreams along with her dinner.
SIXTY-NINE
Kate wasn’t overly worried when she didn’t see Guy for the remainder of the day, but when he hadn’t put in an appearance by the following evening, she grew concerned. Had he gone for good, hurt and rejected by her refusal to entertain the idea of an annulment? She went into his room under the pretense of collecting linen in need of washing, but couldn’t tell if he had taken anything with him. His sword was gone, but he’d been wearing it when she saw him last.
When Kate brought the dirty linen to the kitchen, Joan was shelling peas, her movements efficient and practiced. Walter sat at the table, enjoying a slice of buttered bread and a cup of ale. He made to rise when Kate walked in, but she motioned for him to remain seated.
“Good day, mistress,” Water said as soon as he swallowed the bite he’d been chewing.
“Walter, have you see Master Guy?” Kate tried to sound nonchalant, but her heart raced beneath her calm exterior.
