Page 108 of The Forsaken
“Well, ye’re not wrong now. Ye’ve been sick for near a fortnight now, and yer courses haven’t come. Ye think I don’t pay attention?”
“I’m sure you do.”
“Oh, I’m pleased for ye, Kate. I really am. Hugh will be beside himself when he finds out. A baby, after all this time. I was beginning to think ye must be barren.”
Not only did you think it, but you mentioned your suspicions to Hugh time and again, Kate had thought bitterly.
“How long will this awful nausea last?” she asked, desperate to change the subject.
Joan shrugged, rolling her ample shoulders. “Can’t say with any certainty. Some women feel better by their fourth month. Others suffer till the babe is born. There’s no telling. Ye need to eat lots of bread. It soaks up the bile. Here, have a slice. Fresh from the oven.”
“I think I need to lie down,” Kate muttered. She was so weak she could barely stand.
“Ye go on, then. I’ll bring ye a cup of ale later on. Best thing for a pregnant woman.”
Kate had trudged up the stairs to her bedchamber, her stomach twisting with more than nausea. It was only a matter of time before Joan let it slip that Kate was with child. She wasn’t one to keep secrets. Kate supposed it was as good a time as any for everyone to find out. She’d have to face the consequences sooner or later; it might as well be today.
She was just drifting off when the scrape of the door opening roused her from her stupor. Hugh stood in the doorway, looking at her as if he were seeing her for the first time. Sunlight fell on his face, its merciless rays underlining the softened jowls and the puffiness beneath the eyes. Strands of silver had invaded his dark mane, congregating at the temples. Hugh was only one and thirty, but years of frustrated plans, heavy drinking, and lack of purpose had taken their toll.
He shut the door and advanced into the room, stopping at the foot of the bed. “Is it true? Are you really with child at last?”
Kate felt a twinge of panic as she studied his face. He didn’t look angry, but her guilty conscience wouldn’t let her believe that she might get away with the sin she’d committed against him.
“Yes, it’s true,” she finally replied. She sat up and scooted backward, huddling against the headboard as she held a pillow in front of her like a shield.
Hugh’s face broke into a joyful grin. “Oh, Kate, what splendid news. The good Lord has seen fit to bless us with a child at last.” He came closer and sat on the side of the bed, reaching for Kate’s hand. He looked contrite, not an expression one normally associated with Hugh de Rosel. “Kate, I’m sorry, eh? I know I’ve been less than gallant these past few months.”
These past few years, Kate amended silently.
“I was disappointed and I didn’t handle it well. Please accept my apology. Is there anything I can do for you? Anything I can get you? Nurse says you’ve been fearful sick these past few weeks. Can I tempt you with a tasty morsel or a length of damask for a new gown?”
“Thank you, but I don’t require anything at the moment. My only wish is for this ceaseless nausea to pass.”
“Well, I can’t help you there,” Hugh replied. He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it, as he had done when they were first married. “I do love you, Kate. I want you to know that.”
Kate acknowledged his declaration with a nod but couldn’t bring herself to return the sentiment. She didn’t love him, and never would, even if he treated her with kindness and respect.
“Well, I’ll leave you to rest.” Hugh got to his feet and kissed her lightly on the brow. “Ironic that you should finally conceive now, seeing as how I’ve barely been around you these past few months. The Lord certainly works in mysterious ways.” He gave her a bemused look before leaving the chamber and shutting the door behind him.
Kate breathed a sigh of relief. Hugh didn’t know about her and Guy, not yet. Her brow broke out in a cold sweat as another bout of nausea assaulted her. She grabbed the basin and retched again, belatedly realizing that the illness might be caused more byanxiety than by the pregnancy. Now that Hugh knew about the baby, Guy would know too. When Kate hadn’t gone to Guy’s room several days in a row, she’d allowed him to assume she had her courses. It was dishonest of her, but she’d had her reasons. She needed time to think. She’d managed to talk him out of running away together. Carrying on with him under Hugh’s nose was bad enough, but publicly dishonoring her husband was another matter altogether. She couldn’t do that. That would be snatching happiness from the jaws of betrayal, and it wasn’t the way she wanted to start her life with Guy. But once he found out about the baby, there was no telling how he might react.
Kate sank deeper into the pillows and closed her eyes. She’d remain in bed for the rest of the day. She knew she was being cowardly but felt too ill to face Hugh’s bloated, self-congratulatory grin, Eleanor’s ill-disguised envy, or Guy’s accusing stare.
SIXTY-SEVEN
Kate covered her eyes with her arm as bright sunlight flooded the dim confines of the bed. Joan yanked aside the bed-hanging, glowering at Kate, her hands planted on her hips.
“Ye should get some air. It ain’t doing ye any good, moldering in here. Come. I’ll help ye dress.”
Kate reluctantly got out of bed and stood like a tree stump while Joan pulled the skirt over her head and tied the laces, then stuffed her into her bodice and sleeves. “Lift yer leg,” Joan ordered as she crouched next to Kate with a rolled-up stocking in her hands.
“I can do it myself,” Kate protested.
“Oh, aye? Can ye? Could have fooled me. I’ve seen corpses livelier than ye. Come on. Finish dressing and come down. I have some fresh broth for ye. Ye look half-starved from all that puking.”
“I’m hardly half-starved, but I would like something aside from bread. Might there be an egg?”
“I’ll get ye an egg. Will do ye good. Do ye feel up to a bit of cheese?”
