Page 27 of The Lovers
That night, after confiding in him about her gift, she panicked, and she’d allowed Luke to take her home, walking out of the pub without so much as saying good night to Gabe, who’d been waiting to walk her back to her B&B. She’d allowed Luke to kiss her that night and had invited him back to her room. She’d been a bit drunk, but not drunk enough not to know what she was doing. She was burning bridges with Gabe, and her plan had worked. She just hadn’t expected her relationship with Luke to evolve as it had. He’d fancied her since they first arrived at the dig, it turned out, and wasn’t about to pass up his chance.
Their summer romance turned into eight years, but now, looking back, Quinn wasn’t sure how much of their relationship had been love and how much was comfort and convenience. They both had busy schedules and were often away on digs and at conferences. They came together at her little chapel, spent a few weeks or months together, and then parted again. She’d been content, but had she really been happy? She’d always taken it for granted that Luke was faithful to her, but had he been? Had he always gone to bed alone when he was away from her? She supposed she’d been blind to his faults, but the veil had lifted and now she was finally beginning to see clearly.
She still believed that Luke loved her in his own way and had been devoted to her at one time. But Luke had only one great love—himself—and he’d discarded her as soon as something better for him came along. He could have asked her to come with him, but he hadn’t. He wanted a fresh start, and he wished to be unencumbered and free to pursue new relationships. Well, he had it, but so did she. Like it or not, this was a fresh start.
EIGHTEEN
FEBRUARY 1665
London, England
Elise sat up in bed and hugged her knees. It was still dark outside, but dawn would come soon and with it, a new day. She’d barely slept all night, thoughts of Gavin crowding her mind. She’d been elated and hopeful after their conversation, but once she finally got back to the house and snuck up to her room without being seen by anyone but Lucy, the doubts had set in. A part of her had no regrets about seeing Gavin or making him a promise, but there were other factors to consider. There were still nearly six weeks till their departure, and with James visiting her several times a week, she could still get with child. There had to be a way to prevent that catastrophe from happening, but how? She supposed there were ways, but she was completely ignorant of them and had no one to ask. Decent women didn’t try to prevent pregnancy. Conception was God’s will and a part of God’s plan.
And then there was the matter of her marriage. She was Edward’s wife in the eyes of God and man, despite the fact that Edward wasn’t her husband in every sense of the word. Running out would brand her an adulteress and a whore. She would never be able to marry Gavin, and their children would be born out of wedlock, a predicament that weighed on her heavily. They could lie to their neighbors, but they couldn’t lie to God. How could she walk into a church with Gavin by her side, knowing all the while that she was another man’s wife?
Had she still been a maid, an annulment might have been possible, but no physician would believe her now. She had no proof; it had been destroyed by James on her wedding night. And then there was her father. Elise had to admit that she felt hurt and betrayed by the father she loved, but running away would bring out Edward’s thirst for vengeance. He’d threatened to ruin her father, and he would. Could she put her own happiness ahead of everything she held dear, and would it be possible to be happy despite the factors working against her and Gavin?
Elise rested her chin on her knees and peered into the darkness. The thought of remaining in her present situation for years to come felt like a sentence worse than death. There wasn’t a glimmer of hope if she stayed. Her only escape would be widowhood, and although she despised Edward for his duplicity, she’d never wish him dead. So, she was back where she began: lonely, desperately unhappy, and utterly trapped. She wished she had someone to talk to, someone she could trust, but there was no one. Except Lucy. Lucy was a chatty girl who’d lived in and around Blackfriars her whole life.Perhaps she can be of assistance without realizing it, Elise thought. She had to deal with one problem at a time, and for the moment, her biggest concern was possible pregnancy.
Elise got out of bed, poked up the fire, and threw open the curtains. A rosy light was spreading along the horizon, the tree line black against the lightening sky. It was a new day and a new beginning, and she’d be damned if she allowed her circumstances to break her spirit. She was stronger than that, and she would find a way out of her predicament.
Elise was already sitting at her dressing table when Lucy came in, bringing a pitcher of hot water for washing.
“Well, good morning, me lady,” Lucy greeted her cheerfully. “Ye’re up afore me again. Ye put me to shame.” She pouted.
“I’ve always been an early riser. You get up early enough, and you need your rest.”
Elise washed while Lucy put a few more logs on the fire and lit a brace of candles with a taper since the room was still in darkness.
“Shall ye wear your blue gown today?” Lucy asked as she opened the trunk. “It does go well with yer coloring.” She sighed wistfully. “Yer hair is like liquid copper, it is.”
“Yes, the blue gown. It looks like a beautiful day. Perhaps we can go out for a walk along the river today, Lucy.”
“Aye, me lady. A walk would be most welcome.”
“Lucy, I wonder if you might know of an apothecary nearby,” Elise asked innocently as she sat down in front of the dressing table, ready for her hair to be dressed.
“Are ye ill, me lady?”
“No, but I thought perhaps I can ask about a remedy for Lady Matilda. She has such a terrible, wheezing cough.”
“But Lord Asher had the physician in only yesterday. He gave her a tonic for her cough and advised a cupful of cow’s blood mixed with milk twice a day to build up her strength.”
“I see,” Elise replied, thwarted. “I pray she feels better.”
Lucy kept silent, which made Elise smile. Lady Matilda scolded and belittled the servants, and Lucy was always a ready target, being young and pretty. Her good nature particularly irritated the old woman, who tried to browbeat her into silent submission.
“I suppose there’s an apothecary at St. Bartholomew’s Hospital. The monks are very knowledgeable about herbs and such,” Lucy said as she twisted Elise’s hair into a knot at the nape of her neck. “Of course, his lordship had invited the court physician to attend on his mother. No monks for her ladyship,” Lucy added bitterly.
Elise considered this information. St. Bartholomew’s was out of the question. The monks were renowned for their healing and kindness to those less fortunate, but they couldn’t help her with her problem. Perhaps what she needed was a midwife. But how could she go about finding one? A physician would be summoned if she were with child, but by that time, it would be too late.
Elise allowed Lucy to dress her and went down to break her fast. Perhaps a solution would present itself. She just had to be patient. Elise was surprised to find her husband seated at the table with a plate of food in front of him. He rarely rose before noon, and this morning he looked pale and out of sorts.
“Ah, here comes my lady,” he intoned sarcastically. “You are looking radiant, my dear. Dare I hope?”
“I’m sorry to dash your hopes, sir,” Elise mumbled.
“Are you indeed? You are proving to be a great disappointment to me, Elise. We’ve been married for nearly two months, and still you fail to get with child,” he hissed, his eyes suddenly angry.
