Page 75 of The Lovers
“You will remain here,” Edward replied, his gaze boring into her, daring her to defy him.
“Edward, what have I done to displease you so?” Elise cried, suddenly unable to contain her frustration any longer. “I have tried to be a good wife to you, but you are never at home, and when you are, you ignore me. Perhaps if you would explain things to me, I could learn to be a better companion to you,” she begged.
Edward stared at her as if his horse had suddenly spoken. She’d never confronted him so openly before, and the experience was new to them both. He leaned back against the pillows and studied her for a moment, as if deciding just how much honesty she could handle. He let out a sigh of defeat, his shoulders slumping as he acknowledged the truth of her argument.
“Elise, my accident robbed me of my manhood, but it hadn’t dulled my sight, nor has it done anything to dampen my lust. I might seem old to you, but inside, I’m still a young man who burns with desire and longs for pleasure. Having you belong to me, but not being able to use you as a husband should and seeing you grow big with a child that isn’t mine enrages me. I long to punishJames and cause him the kind of suffering he’s caused me, but I can hardly hold him accountable for doing what I asked of him.”
Edward smiled ruefully at Elise’s shocked expression. She hadn’t considered that Edward might actually desire her or suffer torment because he couldn’t consummate their marriage. He was right: He did seem old to her, and she just assumed that the passions of his youth had dissipated along with his ability to lie with a woman. Edward gave her a look of sheer disgust, guessing at her thoughts.
“You never spared me much thought, have you, dear wife? Well, let me tell you something: My youth was spent enduring the horrors of the Civil War and wondering every day if I might survive long enough to see the downfall of Cromwell and his accursed Republic. Those years were the bleakest of my life, but if I could turn back the clock, I would return to that time in a heartbeat rather than live this half-life that God has seen fit toblessme with. When I am at court, the glittering opulence and sheer extravagance of it all intoxicate me. I lose myself in the mad fantasy that is the reign of our king, and for a short while, I feel like my old self again, until I come home and see you—young, beautiful, and ripe for the picking by any man who’s bold enough to try.”
“Are you suggesting that I would have a love affair if you brought me to court?” Elise asked, astonished by the reason for her exile.
“I’m saying that you belong to me as much as any horse in my stable. I might not ride it, but that doesn’t mean that I will tolerate anyone else riding it in my stead.”
“I’m not a horse, Edward,” Elise protested hotly. “You can’t lock me away for the rest of my life just because you don’t wish anyone else to look at me.”
“It won’t be for the rest of your life, Elise, but for the rest of mine. You might get lucky and end up being a wealthy widow. All you have to do is produce a healthy son who will ensure that all my worldly goods do not pass to my sniveling cousin, who is my closest male kin. Oh, how he would love to lay his hands on my fortune. Well, I’ve fought and plotted to have His Majesty restored to the throne, and he has rewarded me for my loyalty and valor. I will not have some spineless popinjay reap the rewards of years of deprivation and terror. Oh no. You will bear me a son, Elise, and then you will bear me another. I will keep you locked away and pregnant until you’ve fulfilled your purpose. And if you retain something of your looks, perhaps you will enjoy your well-deserved freedom then.”
Elise gasped at Edward’s words. He was nothing more than a bitter old man who wanted to punish her for his life’s disappointments. And the tragic thing was that he not only could but would.
“I never took you for a cruel man, Edward,” Elise said as she rose to her feet.
“And I never took you for anything more than an empty womb waiting to be filled,” Edward spat out. A desperate sob tore from Elise as she fled the room.
FIFTY-SIX
DECEMBER 2013
Surrey, England
Quinn ordered a glass of white wine and found a table in a corner next to the window. She was early, but she needed a little time to compose herself before facing Sylvia again. She supposed she could have invited Sylvia to come over, but it seemed a better idea to meet on neutral ground, in a public place full of people where emotions would have to be kept in check. Quinn took a sip of wine and gazed out the window at the people walking by. The day was sunny but cold, and a bitter wind blew from the north, forcing the passersby to huddle deeper into their coats as they went about their business. The village was decorated for Christmas, wreaths of evergreens with red bows and fairy lights making the normally sober street look festive.
Quinn watched as Sylvia hurried down the street, her colorful scarf blowing behind her like a sail. The gusty wind blew her dark curls away from her face, and she bent her head into the wind to shield her face. Quinn gave a small wave as Sylvia entered the pub with a rush of cold air. She gave a brief nod, placed her order at the bar, and came to join Quinn at the table.
“Hello,” she said simply. “I hope I haven’t kept you waiting too long.”
“No, I just got here. I normally walk, but today I drove in,” Quinn admitted. “Too windy.”
“I don’t like this time of year,” Sylvia said as she shrugged off her coat and unwound her scarf. “Some people love winter, especially the holiday season, but to me it’s just a dark, cold stretch to get through.”
The waiter placed a cappuccino in front of Sylvia, and she inhaled its aroma, smiling in contentment. “I’m not much of a drinker, but I do love coffee.”
“So do I.”
Sylvia took a sip of her drink and raised her eyes to meet Quinn’s. “I was really glad you called. I was beginning to abandon all hope of ever hearing from you.”
“I had some things to work through,” Quinn replied, being deliberately vague. There was no point in telling Sylvia that the test came back positive: She already knew she was Quinn’s mother, and the news about Rhys was not something that Quinn was ready to share just yet. She still wasn’t sure how she felt about seeing Sylvia again. When she’d imagined meeting her mother, there was always an immediate and natural bond, but she didn’t feel anything except resentment for the woman sitting across from her. She’d tried to push it down and reason herself out of feeling so angry, but the feelings kept rising to the top and bubbling over, leaving Quinn with a deep sense of frustration. This is not how this was supposed to go.
“Have you ever regretted your decision to give me away?” Quinn asked. She knew what she wanted to hear, and she suspected that Sylvia would tell her just that to make her happy, but Sylvia shook her head, a stubborn expression that Quinn so frequently saw reflected in her own mirror hardening her features.
“No, Quinn. I know you want me to feel remorse, but I promised myself when I came to see you that I would be honest with you. I owe you that much. I thought of you often, and Iwished that I had a way of keeping up with you, but I never regretted not being a mother to you.”
Quinn sucked in her breath, feeling as if she’d just been slapped. “I was lucky to have been adopted by a wonderful couple who never treated me with anything less than love, but my fate could have been very different. I could have been shunted from foster home to foster home, becoming one of those children who fall through the cracks and eventually end up on the street, or dead of an overdose. Did you ever consider that?” Quinn demanded.
“Quinn, I know you’re angry with me, and you have every right to be, but that decision was made by a frightened seventeen-year-old girl who thought she had no one to turn to. I did what I thought was best at the time, and despite all the ifs and could-have-beens, you’ve had a wonderful life. You are a beautiful, smart, successful woman, and I couldn’t be more proud that you are mine, even if my claim on you is tenuous at best. I can’t change the past, but I would very much like to be a part of your future.”
“In what capacity? I already have a mother,” Quinn replied spitefully.
