Page 41 of A Man To Remember
"That's something."
"Took me three tries to get through it without having a panic attack."
"But you did it."
"Yeah. I did."
We fall into another comfortable silence. Austin checks his phone again, and I wonder if he's calculating how long he's been here, how much of his day he's spent managing my crisis.
"I should let you get back to your life," I say.
"What life?"
"Work. Photography. Normal people things."
"I cancelled my shoot today."
I blink. "Why?"
"Because I was worried about you."
There it is again. That simple, devastating honesty that makes my chest tight.
"You didn't have to do that."
"I wanted to."
Austin shifts on the couch, angling his body toward mine, and we sit like that for a while. Not talking, just existing in the same space. The chaos of my apartment feels less overwhelming with him here, like his presence somehow makes the mess more manageable.
I count my breaths. In, out. In, out.
The panic from earlier has receded, leaving behind this weird emptiness that isn't quite peace but isn't agony either.
"You feeling better?" Austin asks eventually.
I give myself a moment to think about it.
"Yeah," I say. "Thank you."
He looks at me with those dark eyes, studying my face like he's searching for something. "Good," he says.
There's something underneath that single word. Some weight I can't identify.
"Why?" I ask.
He shakes his head. "No reason."
But his gaze drops to my mouth as he says it, lingering there for a heartbeat too long before returning to my eyes. And suddenly the air in the room feels different. Thicker.
Is it possible?
After everything that's happened today, after the breakdown, the guilt, the complete emotional collapse on my kitchen floor… Is it actually possible he still wants me?
Time seems to slow as I study his face. The way his pupils have dilated slightly. How his breathing has changed. The tension in his jaw that speaks to restraint rather than discomfort.
My hands are shaking again.
Different reason this time.
