Page 34 of A Man To Remember
And there's Jesse's face, looking at me through the gap.
Alive. Breathing. Sober.
The relief hits me so hard I nearly collapse against his doorframe.
CHAPTER 14
AUSTIN
"THANK GOD," I breathe.
"God?" Jesse's eyebrows shoot up. "What's God got to do with anything?"
"I was so worried—"
"Worried?" He forces a laugh that sounds like broken glass. "Why would you be worried? I'm fine. Just needed a mental health day, you know?"
Fine.
Right.
Because people who are fine always look like they've been hit by a truck. Jesse's hair is sticking up in seventeen different directions, his clothes are rumpled like he slept in them, and there are dark circles under his eyes that suggest he didn't sleep at all.
"You don't look fine."
"Gee, thanks. You really know how to make a guy feel special." He's still talking through that crack in the door, chain lock engaged like I'm some kind of threat. Which, considering last night, maybe I am.
"Can I come in?"
He hesitates, and for a moment I think he's going to say no. Then the door closes, the chain rattles, and it opens again fully.
"Sure. Yeah. Come in."
I step inside, and immediately understand why he was reluctant to let me see the place.
His apartment looks like a tornado hit it. Empty coffee cups everywhere, blankets thrown haphazardly across furniture, papers scattered on every surface. The air smells like too much caffeine and not enough sleep.
"Sorry about the mess," Jesse says, already moving around the space, gathering cups and straightening cushions. "I wasn't expecting company."
He's talking too fast. Moving too much. His hands shake slightly as he stacks mugs, and I count at least six empties just on the coffee table.
"How much coffee have you had?"
"Not enough, apparently." Another forced laugh. "Can I get you some? I've got a fresh pot going."
Of course he does.
I watch him bustle around the kitchen, all manic energy and desperate normalcy. He's performing for me, putting on a show that everything's fine when clearly nothing is fine.
"Jesse."
He doesn't stop moving. "I've also got some crackers somewhere. Or toast. Are you hungry? You look hungry."
"Jesse, stop."
"Stop what? I'm being a good host. That's what you do when someone drops by unexpectedly, right? Offer refreshments, make small talk—"
"Look at me."
