Page 51 of Murder & Mayhem
“Fuck!” I kicked the counter, wincing at the pain in my bare foot, but it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.
I finally had something good and I’d ruined it. I always fucking ruined it.
Waking up and realizing what I’d been doing to Dominic . . . The nausea built up again and I ran to the sink, once again dry heaving.
After everything, how could I be so fucking disgusting? And then fucking Dominic, still being so sweet at first, gentle, like I wasn’t a monster? I shouldn’t have gotten angry at him, but when he’d acted all soft around me like I deserved comfort, it had flipped a switch in me.
I slumped halfway into the sink and turned on the water, letting the icy cold spray drench my face and head. It still wasn’t enough to wash away the shame and anger I had atmyself. I was lucky Dominic didn’t kick me out . . . and then after all that, I’d fucking safeworded on him. My eyes closed as the water continued to run. I was so damn exhausted, even though I’d just woken up.
“Jamie? Jamie? What the fuck?”
I barely registered the voice or the big body behind me until the water was shut off and I was being physically dragged away from the sink.
Gideon had me crowded against the counter, grocery and takeout bags thrown haphazardly onto the round kitchen table behind him. His eyes looked wild and a little panicked, and I had no idea why, but the absurdity of the whole situation had me giggling, which eventually morphed into full-out laughter. Laughter I couldn’t fucking stop.
Gideon looked shell-shocked, but he turned away from me and grabbed the dishtowel that was lying near the stove.
“Here, dry yourself.”
Sucking in deep breaths, trying to get it together, I dried my face. Fuck, I was dripping all over the floor. I hadn’t even realized.
By the time I finished and squeezed out some of the excess water from my hair, the embarrassment hit. I looked at Gideon sheepishly over the towel.
“Sorry.”
He shrugged and turned, going to unload the groceries. “You’ve met my brothers. I’ve seen worse.”
I frowned at the mention of his brothers. Fuck, what was I going to do?
Gideon watched me from the corner of his eye. He finished putting the groceries away and then turned to the takeout he had gotten for us.
“Hungry?” he asked, like he hadn’t just witnessed my meltdown.
“Not really.”
“Probably should eat anyway. Don’t want Nicky on my ass for not taking care of you.”
I snorted. “I doubt he gives a fuck anymore.”
Gideon’s expression sharpened. “Now why would you say that?”
“‘Cause I’m a fuckup. I don’t deserve someone like Dominic, and I think he finally realized it. I can’t be trusted.”
“Why don’t you sit down and stop pacing? You’re making me dizzy. Then you can explain why you think that.”
God, were all the Vecchio brothers bossy as fuck? I hadn’t even realized I’d been pacing, though, so I stopped. Gideon opened the container of wings and threw a few on a paper plate. He pushed it toward me with a pointed look.
Grumbling under my breath like a brat, I took the chair closest to the plate with a huff. My stomach still felt queasy, but they did smell good. Maybe I could manage one or two?
I took a bite. “Mm-hmm, these are delicious.”
Gideon grinned. “Right? I always get them when we come here.”
That surprised me. “Do you come here a lot?”
Gideon moved his hand in a so-so gesture. “Probably at least once a year. More if we have business over here. But it’s close enough to the shore that we use it as a vacation house.”
“I’ve never been on vacation.”
