Page 20 of Murder & Mayhem
“You can’t keep me here! You promised you wouldn’t hurt me.”
His fingers were clawing into his wrists, leaving gouges deep enough that they were starting to draw blood.
Gently, carefully, I reached for his hand. He jerked it away and pushed back so he was leaning against the door. Fuck. Okay.
“Sorry. I won’t hurt you. I fucking promise you. And I won’t keep you either. But Jamie, it’s dangerous for you to be running around out there on your own. Just listen, and if you still refuse to stay with me, I’ll let you go.” I’d be following him the whole time, but I kept that part to myself.
He didn’t trust it, but he still jerked his head shakily. “Fine. Talk.”
“I know you want to find Bailey, but I don’t think you understand how long it would take to go through all that with only two of us. Even if Gid meets us there, it’s too much. It’s like finding a needle in a haystack. It would take days possibly and put us on whoever has Bailey’s radar. They’d likely move Bailey, if he’s still there, before we could ever find him. Not to mention putting targets on both of our backs. They’ll know the property better than us, and we’ll surely be outnumbered. I want to help you find Bailey, but I can’t let you get hurt in the process if I can help it. The longer it takes them to figure out someone’s onto them, the better for us. The last things we need are them chasing us or moving or hurting Bailey to keep us away.”
I didn’t elaborate, but Jamie understood enough about this world to get the implications. If, God forbid, they put Bailey on a boat or plane, we’d probably never find him.
Jamie chewed on his lip, considering. “Still, wouldn’t it bebetter to drive there and wait for Ari to have more information?”
It was a valid question, and under normal circumstances, I’d agree. “Typically, yeah, but we’re both exhausted and I know I’m starving, so I’d imagine you are too. We’re running on adrenaline and fumes right now. That’s when mistakes happen, and we can’t afford to make mistakes, for our sakes and your brother’s. I need a couple hours’ sleep. We both do. Then we can make the drive. That will also give Ari’s programs enough time to do their thing and maybe narrow it down for us.” We couldn’t go through that many warehouses, as much as Jamie might want to. It wasn’t feasible.
“Jamie,” Ari cut in. I had almost forgotten he was still on the line. “I’m currently hacking into any CCTV footage, traffic light cameras, and whatever else I can find in that area, starting where I feel is most likely for them to keep Bailey and working my way out. I already have searches on O’Malley’s car and facial recognition hits for both him and Bailey. As soon as I have anything, I’ll tell Nicky and you can go. Okay?”
Jamie’s face scrunched up like he was trying to solve some kind of complicated math problem. “Why would you do all that for us? I’ve never even met you.”
“Because Nicky is our brother,” Ari said simply, like that would explain everything, and maybe it did. After all, Jamie was doing everything and anything for his own. “We have each other’s backs, always. No matter what. And since Nicky imprinted on you like a fucking baby bird, that includes you as well. Plus,” he added a beat later. “We fucking hate anyone who hurts children. We’re not gonna just let that go.”
Jamie was tearing the fuck outta his arm with his nails. He had upgraded from digging his fingers into his palm and was now scratching into the skin of his hand and his wrist so deeply, it wasleaving nasty, little lines that almost looked like cat scratches. It was physically painful for me to not intervene and make it better, but I had no right. I had already touched him way more than I should’ve, and he’d pulled away from me when I’d tried earlier; I couldn’t do it again without permission.
Jamie stayed silent for a long time as he considered Ari’s words. For whatever reason, they seemed to calm him more than anything I’d said. I should probably be insulted, but that was Ari for you. He had a way about him.
Finally, those beautiful, sad eyes met mine again. I wondered what they would look like if he smiled. “Why your place though? I got an apartment.”
Yeah, absolutely fucking not. Somehow, I managed to stop myself before I said those exact words. “It’s not safe, beautiful. They found Bailey there already. They can easily find you. We don’t know if they’re looking for you, but it’s reasonable to assume they are. That’s going to be the first place they go.”
That . . . didn’t go over well. Jamie tore at his hair, transferring the blood from his palm to his forehead. “Fuck. Fuck. Why didn’t I even think about that? I can’t go back there. I can’t bring Bailey back there. It’ll never be safe. What the fuck am I gonna do? That was all we had. All our stuff is there. I-I need that place. It’s the only thing that’s ever been ours.”
My heart fucking broke and I’d never felt so helpless. I was brought back to years ago, when the three of us had managed to save up enough money to leave the abandoned building we’d been squatting at and afford rent on a shitty studio apartment. That place had been everything to us, as crappy as it was. If somebody had taken that away back then, I’d have lost it.
“Jamie,” I said as softly as I could manage. “You’re hurting yourself, baby. Please, I know this fucking sucks, but it’s killing me watching you do this and not being able to stopyou.” It was too honest and probably the wrong thing to say, but chunks of hair were sticking to the dried blood on his palm and tears were running down his face from the pain that he didn’t even seem to notice. How often had he hurt himself in the past?
He blinked, his long lashes matted with tears, his expression confused, like he hadn’t even realized what he was doing. I touched my own palm to show him. Finally, he looked at his hand, nostrils flaring.
“Fuck. I . . . I didn’t even notice.” He rubbed his bloody palm on his jeans, causing me to wince.
“Let’s get back to my place. You can clean it up. We’ll eat and rest, and then you can decide what you want to do next. I can even help you find somewhere safe to stay if you don’t feel comfortable with me.”
“I’m such a fucking mess,” he muttered more to himself than me, “but no. There’s no fucking point. Not till I find Bailey. I’m wasting time with my temper tantrums. Just drive.”
What the fuck had just happened? His mood swings were giving me whiplash and I was struggling to keep up. I was way out of my depth with this beautiful, broken boy, but I couldn’t walk away.
At some point, Ari must’ve disconnected the call, which I appreciated. We barely had privacy between the three of us, but some things deserved that, and Jamie didn’t need an audience he’d likely forgotten about.
When Jamie didn’t say anything else, I put the SUV back in drive and headed home.
CHAPTER 8
JAMESON
Ifelt hollow by the time I followed Dominic into his apartment building, the switchblade he casually slipped into my pocket a comforting weight. The last twenty-four hours came crashing down on my shoulders and all the fight whooshed right out of me. Dominic was right. I had been running strictly on adrenaline and stubbornness for a while now, and it all flooded out until I was totally drained.
I shouldn’t be relying on these strangers to find my brother. I should be doing it on my own. I’d never gotten help growing up. Anytime I’d tried, no one could do shit. Everything had always fallen back onto my shoulders. That was why I’d vowed when I’d finally gotten us out of there to never need help again. I would do it all on my own and fuck everyone else.
