Page 54 of Murder & Mayhem
DOMINIC
Gideon easily grabbed the phone before it crashed to the floor. Which was good because my focus was solely on Jamie as his knees buckled and he started to fall. I caught him, bringing him close.
Jamie’s nails dug into my shoulder blades as he tried to get even closer to me. I had decided to take a shower after Jamie had left, hoping it would put everything into perspective. It hadn’t. Then, I’d still been drying off when Gid had called for me. I had thrown on a pair of basketball shorts, which was the first thing I’d seen, but I hadn’t bothered with anything else.
My mostly nakedness didn’t bother Jamie now, and I gently guided us to the closest chair. I didn’t even think about what I was doing before I sat and dragged Jamie onto my lap. It was probably fucked up with how shit had ended with us, but I was in full caretaker mode, and the idea of not having Jamie within reach was painful.
He didn’t argue or fight, coming willingly.
“I have to go,” he whispered once we were settled. Gideonwas on the phone, probably with Ari. He was walking with purpose to the hidden wall safe we had between the kitchen and living areas as he talked. I let him handle all that. My only concern was currently wiggling on my lap, torn between taking the comfort he so desperately needed and running to get his brother.
“You can’t. It’s a trap. Bailey even said it.”
Jamie shook his head. He wasn’t crying, but his eyes were bloodshot like he had been. It was like he was all out of tears. “It doesn’t matter. I still gotta go. If there’s a chance it’ll work, that they’ll trade us, I have to try.”
The desire to tie him to my bed until we found Bailey was strong. Instead, I tightened my arms around him. “What did Bailey mean when he said he was damaged?”
Maybe it wasn’t the smoothest topic change, but until Gid got off the phone with Ari and I at least had an idea of what was happening, I needed to keep Jamie here and relatively calm.
He deflated. “He was . . . injured on the left side of his face when he was younger. He can’t hear out of his left ear, and his left eye is practically useless. The ear is only noticeable if you look inside, then you can see some of the scarring, though it goes deep.” It hurt to see how clinical Jamie was talking about it. I knew it killed him. All these poor boys understood was pain and suffering, and he talked about it like it was an everyday occurrence because for them, it was. “His eye, it’s more obvious. But Bailey wears thick glasses with sun transition in them. They probably didn’t even notice it when they took him, and Joey made a point of keeping that shit to himself. Paychecks go down for physical damage like that. I doubt O’Malley even knew. Besides, he usually chose me.”
I kissed the top of Jamie’s head. “We’ll get him, sweetheart.I swear on my brothers’ lives, I’ll find a way to get him back. But you can’t go. We’ll find another way.”
Gideon chose that moment to walk in. “Actually . . .”
Gid was fucking lucky I had a lap full of Jamie, otherwise I would’ve murdered him.
“You better not be fucking insinuating he trades himself. Because that will be the last fucking thing you ever say.”
Gideon rolled his eyes and took the seat beside us. He had a duffel bag already loaded with weapons that he put on the floor next to us. “Always so damn dramatic. Obviously not. But, I just had Ari and Diego, Luca’s tech guy, on the line. They’re coming by the way. Ari was already on the road, and Brooks and Skye, the two who were staking out the place, are meeting here too. The rest of Il Fortunato are on standby. Anyway, we think the best bet to get in there is for them to think Jamie is falling for their trap. He’ll have cameras on him, and he’ll be able to hear us the whole time. And of course, we’ll be there. Once we get visuals, we’ll swoop in and handle business. He’ll never be in danger.”
“Hell fucking no.”
“I’ll do it.”
Jamie clawed his way out of my arms and turned to face me, hands on his hips.
“Excuse me?”
I clenched my jaw, trying to keep my temper, but all I could see was Jamie bruised and bloody, chained and used . . . and it was hard to stay reasonable with that image invading every thought.
“It’s too dangerous, Jamie. You can’t even use a fucking gun. I won’t allow you to throw yourself to the wolves. Fuck no.” Well, so much for staying reasonable. Even Gideon winced.
“You won’t allow me to? Well, thanks for that,but last I checked, you have no fucking control over me. It’s my brother. My decision. I’ve been letting you take the lead in this because y’all know what you’re doing, but not for this.” He turned to Gideon, showing his back to me, like the conversation was over. “What do I need to do?”
I saw fucking red. Launching to my feet, I spun Jamie around so he was facing me. “You don’t turn away from me! You’re not going. End of fucking discussion. It’s too dangerous, and I won’t fucking lose you.”
Jamie shoved my chest. It wasn’t hard, but it took me by surprise and I staggered back a few steps. “You never had me to fucking lose, asshole! If this Daddy thing means you think you can control what I do and my decisions to care for my family, then fuck that. I don’t care how nice it feels when you hold me close and call me good boy. I spent my whole fucking life having no choices, spending every minute living in terror and trying to survive. And I won’t go back!” Angry tears sprouted in his eyes. He shoved at me again before stepping back and slamming his hands against his chest. “I won’t do it! This is my life. My brother. I get to decide if I want to risk it, not you.”
Some of the wind left my sails. I was still absolutely against this plan, but I could understand why Jamie felt the way he did.
“I’m sorry, Jamie. I shouldn’t have said things the way I did. I’m not trying to control you, but I need you to be reasonable. You’re going to get yourself killed if you go, and I don’t think I could bear that.”
“And I’m sorry if that will hurt you,” Jamie replied, much quieter now. He was clawing at his thighs again. “I’m not trying to do that. And maybe this will sound shitty and selfish, but your feelings about this didn’t factor in my decision at all. I like you, Dominic. I really fucking do. But I’ll choose mybrother over everyone, every fucking time, especially a guy I met yesterday, no matter how attracted I am to him. I’m sorry you don’t like this choice. But it’s mine to make. Only mine. I’m doing it, and if you were there to support me through it, I’d be grateful, but I understand if you can’t. The conversation is done now.”
Once again, Jamie turned away from me. His whole body was shaking and deep scratch marks lined his bare thighs. Even now, he was still digging into the poor flesh. It was killing me, but Jamie’s words were fresh in my brain. This wasn’t about me. It was Jamie’s choice, not mine, and short of tying him up and leaving him here, which was pretty tempting, there was nothing I could do to change that.
“What’s the plan?” Jamie asked Gideon, voice a little shaky as he struggled to keep it together.
