Page 37 of Murder & Mayhem
Jamie’s expression softened. “I know. And I get that I have no idea what I’m doing and would probably be dead already if it wasn’t for you. I just—I don’t like owing people things. I’ve spent my whole life paying off debts that weren’t mine, long before I was old enough to understand what was happening. I worked hard to make sure that wouldn’t happen again, and I feel like I’m falling into the same cycle.”
Before I could think about it, I reached out, grabbing Jamie’s shaky hands with my own. He stiffened for only a fraction of a second before relaxing. I managed not to smile despite the satisfaction I felt at his easy surrender.
“I swear, sweetheart, you aren’t. I get it’s not easy to believe me, but let me prove it to you. I don’t have a good answer as to why I latched onto you the way I did, but it happened, and I’m not walking away until you and Bailey are both safe. And when I do go, there will be no strings, no debts. I don’t expect anything.”
His smile was a little sad and didn’t reach his eyes, which confused me. I thought that was what he wanted. Eventually, the waitress came back with our drinks. We ordered, me a Western omelet with a side of bacon and Jamie the small stacks of pancakes. I wanted to demand he order more, the boy needed to eat, but that really wasn’t my fucking place. It was getting harder and harder to remember that, especially when I caught Jamie shooting me shy glances over his plate through the entire meal.
We kept things light, not mentioning any of the shit we were dealing with. Jamie asked about my real job in marketing, and I explained it to him. He didn’t seem to have much of an interest in all the bullshit and dealing with clients, but when I mentioned the graphic design department, his face lit up.
Also, much to my surprise, Jamie flirted with me the whole time. At least, I thought that was what he was doing. Sometimes, he’d start acting coy and bantering, and then would suddenly freeze up. I went with the flow, unsure where any of this was going.
“All done, sweetheart?” I asked gently when Jamie stopped eating after only a quarter of his pancakes were finished. He was pushing it around on his plate but hadn’t taken a bite in a few minutes.
His head shot up like he was taken off guard, and then he glanced down sheepishly. “Y-yeah. I’m sorry I’m wasting so much. I’m not as hungry as I thought.” And we were back to standoffish Jamie.
I took his hand again. “Hey, look at me, Jamie.” I kept my tone gentle but laced with the quiet authority he seemed to respond to. He only hesitated a second before looking up. “You don’t have to apologize to me about not being hungry. I understand how stressful this situation is, and you’re probably anxious to find your brother.”
He shrugged and looked down again. I sighed but didn’t let go of his hand.
“How about this? Do you like bacon?” I nodded toward the side that I had only eaten half of.
Another shrug, then, “Yeah, I do.”
I smiled, even though he wasn’t looking at me, and squeezed his hand. “Can you eat two of the strips for me? Please?”
That got him looking up at me curiously. “Why?”
“Because I’ll feel better knowing you have some protein in you,” I told him honestly, “Hero complex, remember? I like to take care of people.”
“That’s so fucking weird.” He wrinkled his nose, but his fingers flexed in my hand, holding it tighter.
“Humor me, please. You’ve barely eaten since we’ve been together.”
Jamie laughed, but there was no humor there. “Seriously? I ate more for dinner last night than I usually eat in an entire week.”
Yeah, I didn’t like that. I pushed the plate of bacon toward him. “More reason to eat it now.” I raised an eyebrow, hoping my expression brokered no argument.
His lips quirked. “Okay, Daddy.”
All the blood rushed from my brain and into another organ way lower. One that had no business coming online now.Okay, Daddy. He’d said it sarcastically and with no knowledge of what he’d been doing, but it didn’t matter. Hearing those words out of Jamie’s pretty mouth triggered all kinds of things in me. And then when he picked up a piece of the bacon and took a big, overdramatic bite out of it like the brat I knew he was underneath all the fear, yeah, I was a goner.
I tried to hide it, to get it together. Hell, I prided myself on masking my feelings. But something snapped inside me as he loudly chewed the meat and shoved the other half into his mouth with the palm of his hand.
Jamie froze midbite as he noticed the change in me. “What?” he asked around a mouthful.
I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. I meant to say nothing, maybe encourage him to eat the other piece. The exact opposite came out of my mouth instead. “I really want to kiss that bratty mouth of yours.”
Jamie nearly choked on said bacon, and I thought I was gonna have to do the fucking Heimlich for a terrifying second or two, but somehow he managed to swallow it. I pushed the chocolate milk closer to him. He drank about half of it in one gulp, and I had to worry about him choking all over again, but he was fine. As soon as he put the glass aside, cheeks red and eyes a little bloodshot and wet, I began to apologize.
“I’m sorry. That was ina?—”
“Did you mean it?” he interrupted me.
“Mean what? That I wanted to kiss you?”
Jamie swallowed rapidly. His face was as red as the ketchup bottle on the table, but he managed to keep eye contact. There was none of the fear I usually saw in his eyes. Even most of that dull sadness that he seemed to wear like a blanket had evaporated.
“Y-yeah. The whole thing. You called me a brat, but it didn’t sound like a bad thing.”
