Page 57 of Before You
Marley:Are you awake?
I’m not missing a chance to talk to her. I’d much rather speak to her over the phone than text, so I call her and it doesn’t even have a chance to ring once before she picks up.
“I’m sorry if I woke you up. I just really needed to talk to you and I—” she rambles, speaking too quickly for my barely awake state.
“Sweetheart, take a breath, it’s fine. I was kinda awake already,” I say, rubbing my eyes as I sit up in my bed. “What’s on your mind?”
“How . . . how do you remember all these things about me? The water you remembered to grab for me at the party, that I play the guitar, the music therapy, learning Italian, and everything else. How, JJ?Why?”
Okay, I guess the middle of the night is an appropriate time for this conversation although I’d prefer to have it in person. I wasn’t honest with her about the one thing I should have been honest with her about, but I can be honest about this. “Why? Marley, do you even need to ask?” I laugh, not because it’s not funny, but because it’s the easiest damn question I could ever answer. “Because I’m in love with you, sweetheart. I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you, and I can’t imagine ever not loving you. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I’ve had a lot of time to think about this, and I think not being able to understand how it happened is part of the beauty. All I need to know is what you mean to me and that’s enough. I’ve replayed our hours in France so many times, memorizing everything so if I ever saw you again, I could show you what you mean to me instead of telling you.” I swallow the lump forming in my throat, hoping I didn’t take it too far.At this point, go big or go home.“I didn’t thinkI’d see you again because of your ex-boyfriend, but I’m glad he convinced you to transfer here.”
I don’t know why I hold back the letters. Maybe it’s because I know if I tell her, Marley will want to read them, and some things are better left forgotten in the box I’ve kept them in. There are sins written I’m not ready to atone for by losing Marley.
Marley’s subtle gasp of air is the only reason I can tell she’s still there. She exhales a shuddering breath, and I wish I were next to her right now. “Wow . . . um, there is a lot to unpack, and some I think we need to talk about in person, but your last point is something I can clear up right now. I didn’t transfer to Beaumont for Trent. I met Trent in April after I’d already been accepted and decided I was transferring here. My dad went here, which you know after dinner, but my transfer was already in motion when I met him.”
What?
Oh fuck, I’m an idiot.Why the hell did I believe Trent? I should have known better, because it’s not something I think Marley would do, but I wish I’d asked about this sooner.
“Tomorrow,” I blurt out, eager to have this conversation with her. Hell, I’d drive over there right now if she asked, but I also want to give her a second to process everything.Shit, does she need more time than tomorrow?“If it’s not too soon, we can talk tomorrow,” I say, trying to backtrack a little to take some of the pressure off Marley.
“JJ, don’t you have a game?” she asks.
“Bring your family to the game. They can use my family’s tickets to sit in the suites, so no one really bothers them.”
My eyes are slowly drifting shut as I lie back into my mountain of pillows.
“I’ll see what I can do, but they might’ve already made plans.”
“It’s no problem if you can’t make it, but I’ll leave them at the ticket booth anyway if you guys can. I’m sorry, but I do have toget back to sleep,” I say, my heart filling with hope. “Goodnight, Marley.”
“Goodnight, JJ,” she says softly, and even though she didn’t say anything about her feelings in this call, I still fall asleep with a smile because her face at dinner said everything she’s left unspoken.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Marley
I BARELY GOT any sleep last night. I spent the entire night replaying every look, touch, and word from JJ. The bags under my eyes show how exhausted I am, and it doesn’t matter how many cups of tea I drink, I’m exhausted.
He told me he loves me. Actually—not only that he loves me, but he’s in love with me.
The thought makes me giddy, but also sick to my stomach with nerves because . . . I love JJ too.How could I not?
I’ve never been one for sports, but at his game today, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. JJ was incredible, his reflexes like lightning. I could have sworn he looked right at us a few times, but with the distance and the helmets, it’s hard to be sure.
My mom and Tessa came with me and Bria, but my dad had to stop by the West Coast offices, and Grayson went with him. They’re supposed to be back tonight, but once the moms learned JJ wanted to meet with me after the game, they were practically shoving me out the door. I think it’s a safe bet JJ won them over.
The butterflies in my stomach are fluttering with excitement as I walk up to the ice cream shop we agreed to meet at. JJ’s sitting outside on a bench, fiddling with a small bouquet of daisies in his lap, and I melt like an ice cube in the Sahara, any nerves quickly disappearing.
He stands up, wiping his hands on his thighs as he smiles at me.
Everything standing in our way before seems to have failed to reduce the love I think we have for each other:time, distance, and even last names.None of it matters.
I can only hope love will be enough.
JJ leans down, brushing his lips over my cheek as he pulls me into a hug, and I’ve never felt more safe. “Hey,” he murmurs while I sink into his embrace.
“Hi,” I say, inhaling the smell of soap and citrus.
