Page 126 of Before You
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
JJ
I’VE BEEN DRAGGING my feet on the walk back to the rental Marley’s staying in. I could have driven, but it would’ve meant saying goodbye to her faster, and I want every second to last.
We’ve talked about anything and everything, and each little detail I’ve uncovered about her has been permanently etched into my mind. I’m desperate for more. I want more time with her, but we agreed first names only. Marley had plenty of opportunities to ask my name throughout the day, even after I point blank told her I would give her my last name if she asked, but she hasn’t.
I’m trying to respect that, because even if it was only a day, it’s a day I’ll never forget.
Thankfully, Marley doesn’t seem to be in a rush either.
Our pinkies are intertwined, and Marley is swinging them together between us. “If you could be anything in the world, what would you be?” I open my mouth to respond, but Marley turns her head up to look at me, a goofy smile illuminated by the light of the full moon. “Serious answers only,” she teases, and I laugh.
Little does she know how serious I’ve been in every answer I’ve given her today.
Football is the obvious answer, but if I could be anything in the world, it’s not what I would ask for. “I’d want to be happy.”
“Why happy?” she asks, and I must be imagining it, but I swear we slow our pace even further.
“I think a lot of people go through the motions in life, but I don’t want to simply exist. I want to enjoy my life and truly live, and I know that’s probably naive of me to say, but I don’t want to take a single day for granted.” What I don’t say is, I think I could be happy with you.
I spin Marley, careful to not let her trip in the process while she laughs with delight. She turns into me, resting her hands on my chest as her cerulean orbs peer up at me through dark lashes.”What about you?” I ask, brushing her hair out of her face.
“What about me?” Marley asks, squinting as if she’s confused what I’m asking.
“If you could be anything in the world, what would you be?”
She shakes her head, pulling away, and I don’t like how sad she looks now. “If only you knew how funny it is to ask me that when my entire life has been planned out for me.”
“Try me.”
“JJ.” She sighs, kicking a loose pebble across the path. “Fine, if I could do anything I wanted, I’d want to be a music therapist, but it’s virtually impossible because I can’t play the guitar or sing in front of anyone. How can you be a music therapist if you can’t play in front of others?” Marley asks, and I shrug.
“I’m not sure, but if you ever need someone to listen to you practice, I’m your guy.”
“Thanks,” she says, a small smile forming. It takes effort for mine to stay in place when I see the house she’s staying at up ahead. She follows my gaze, and her shoulders seem to sink. “I had the best day with you,” Marley whispers.
“It doesn’t have to be over,” I say, and I can’t think of any other way to describe how gutting it feels to not know if I’ll see her again.
“Doesn’t it? I have to leave tomorrow,” she says, tears forming in her eyes, and I hate this sight more than anything.
“Sweetheart,” I whisper, cupping her face in my hands as she pulls her bottom lip into her mouth.
“I’m fine,” she says a moment later, sniffling.
“I’m not,” I admit, brushing away a tear. I didn’t think it was possible to feel this much for someone I didn’t know when I woke up this morning, but now I can’t imagine not knowing her.
“Really?”
I crack what feels like a broken smile while more tears roll down her cheeks. “Really. You’re breaking my heart, Just Marley,” I tease as if the joke is enough to mask the actual splintering of my heart. “I know it’s insane, but I think I love you.”
Her head tips back and a laugh sounds from her lips. I’m really not sure if this is a good thing or not, but it feels like a normal response to telling someone you love them after fourteen hours. “I guess that makes me certifiably insane then, because I think I love you too, Just JJ.”
I lean down and kiss Marley, willing it to be enough to stop time, even if I know it’s not.
Her sweet mouth moves against mine, taking everything I’m giving her while she clutches my arm, keeping me in place. I can taste the salt of her tears before I pull away, resting my forehead against hers.
“I have to believe if two people can fall in love so fast, there’s a reason for it. This isn’t the end of our story, Marley. I’m not sure when or how, but I think there are some people just meant to be together.”
