Page 28 of Secret Desire
“I’m sorry, but I need to be alone right now.”
She hurried out, much like her sister had, leaving me and Grace alone. My other best friend gave me a long, measured look.
“How about I buy you a drink and you tell me all about it?”
Ashley
Ispent the rest of the holiday weekend alone, sulking in my apartment. Maeve texted me several times, but I told her I needed space. I knew she was hurting – and so was I – but I needed some time to lick my wounds and figure out my next steps. And my next steps involved ending this.
I didn’t want to lose the woman I loved. I didn’t want to lose my sister. And I certainly didn’t want to leave the best job I’d ever had. Unfortunately, I couldn’t figure out how to reconcile those three things. The easiest thing would be for me to remove myself from the equation. It would also be the hardest.
I resisted the urge to text Ariel. She’d been out of line, the insults she’d hurled at me and Maeve were mean and hurtful. She owed us both an apology, and I wasn’t going to make it easy for her. Ifshe wanted to still have a relationship with me, it was up to her to make the first move.
After a couple of days of soul searching, on Monday night I called Maeve.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking,” I said. “I think we should take a break.”
“What? No! Let me come over so we can talk,” she protested.
“We need to give Ariel time to cool off,” I said. “And we also need some time to evaluate what we’re doing here. Maybe all the sneaking around made this feel like more than it was. Like once all the excitement of the forbidden falls away, there will be nothing left.”
“There will be something left,” Maeve said firmly. “I love you. And I think you love me.”
“I don’t know how I feel anymore,” I lied. “I feel like I lost you and my sister in one fell swoop, and I probably need to start looking for another job.”
“Don’t you dare leave AGM,” Maeve protested. “We need you. I need you. I’ll give you space if that’s what you need, but I need to be clear about one thing: I love you. I love you and I’m willing to fight for you, even if that means I need to kick some sense into your sister while I’m at it.”
“You’re going to lose your best friend and I’m going to lose my sister over this,” I reminded her. “And for what? Some fun and good sex? Surely you can see the best solution is for us to stop seeing each other outside work, right? “
Maeve sighed heavily. “I don’t know if I can do that.”
“We’re going to have to,” I sad sadly. “Let’s just make a clean break and end this thing before more people get hurt. Break-ups suck, but we’ve both been through enough of them to know that eventually you get over it.”
I was firmly convinced that in fact I’d never get over it, but I needed to be strong for Maeve. She was ready to blow things up at work and lose a twenty-five year plus friendship for me, and I wasn’t worth it.Weweren’t worth it. We knew going into this that us being in a relationship was a bad idea. Really the only surprise was that we got away with it as long as we did.
“Fine.” Maeve hung up without another word.
Tuesday I dragged myself into work despite my strong urge to call in sick. Theo was on me as soon as I got off the elevator.
“What happened?” he demanded. “Ariel is on the warpath, she and Maeve aren’t talking, and all three of you look like you haven’t slept in days.”
“I have no idea,” I lied. “You might try asking the directly.”
“I don’t like it when there’s discord with my girls,” he said firmly. “It’s rare for the most part, but I’ve never seen the Sapphic Billionaire Club like this. My gut tells me that the news about you and Maeve got out.”
“There is no me and Maeve,” I said, pushing my way past him. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get to work.”
The next four days were the longest of my life. I spent the entire workday dodging people... Maeve, Theo, and of course my sister. The one time I came face to face with Ariel she had the nerve to glare at me like I was the one who’d wrongedher.By Friday I was exhausted and ready to start sending my resume out to other firms, but then I had an unexpected visitor.
“Hey Ashley, can I talk to you for a minute?”
I looked up to see my sister’s partner Sadie in the doorway of my office.
“Are you here to yell at me?” I asked cautiously.
“Not unless I have to,” she said, but she gave me a smile that put me at ease, so I invited her in.
“How are you doing?” Sadie asked, her eyes kind.
