Page 22 of Prophet
He rubbed his thumb along my jaw. “You might trust me but I don’t trust myself.” Leaning in, he kissed my cheek then opened my door. “I will see you in the morning, ok?”
I went in and he shut the door behind me. I felt like I’d just been put in a corner like a little girl or something. I know what he meant, but suddenly it seemed wrong. We knew we were going to be together permanently, we both agreed to that. Then the fact that any day now...I would be heading into a storm. One with a madman waiting to pounce on me. One where any of us could get killed in the crossfire.
Heading over to the restroom, I went and did my business, but as anyone knows that’s when your brain kicks on usually. And my brain was full...of nothing but Prophet. I felt my heart stop when I saw him like that, out on the mat. The way he acted all day, being so torn over the fact that he was supposed to trade me away for his father and he kept refusing to even allow me to help. I already knew he was the man for me. I felt it down to my soul.
I washed my hands and paused to look into the mirror. What if one of us didn’t make it through this? What if I let a stupid vow cost me the chance to know what it would be like to be with a man? Especially, the man I love? Yes, I loved Prophet. It was crazy but I did.
I let out a sigh and left the bathroom. I didn’t know how to approach this. What if he refused? He had the same rule. Wow, that would be humiliating. I thought of how he just chastely kissed my cheek and sent me through the doorway. It did rankle me a little bit, I admit. But I was in charge of myself too.
He’d said he’d had casual flings but that I wouldn’t be one of those. I believed him. Of course I did, the man was the kind that what he said, he meant. Like his word was his bond. I loved his laugh, and those little crinkles around his eyes when he smiled. His kiss had made me feel things I wasn’t used to. I loved being wrapped up in his arms. Was there something wrong with any of that? No. No man had ever made me feel so safe and cherished.
I sat on my bed and wondered if I had the courage to—I again stood up as I sighed. Right now, maybe would be the wrong time. Yeah, I could strip off my clothes in front of strange men and dance sexily, but when it came to this? I chicken out. A Sunday school girl under the guise of a sexy stripper.
I shook my head at the irony. Stupid, just stupid. I had to realize something though. That was faked, an act. Often, and on the worst nights, I would tell myself all those things.It’s entertainment. You are not sinning. You are still a good girl.All as I skilfully managed to keep those men from touching me. Yes, my strict upbringing had reared its head more than once. It might seem brave to other women who did not strip for a living, but they didn’t seem to realize that it was just dancing with very little clothes on. Not the real thing and I did not enjoy it, I looked like I did, all smiles and eyes fluttering, the whole works. It had never been about sex, not for me anyway. I had to earn my way in life. That had been the only reason I took the job.
Some of the other girls carried it over with men who came in regularly, they went off with them. I would shudder in revulsion while thinking I could never do that and I never did.
Heading over to the dresser, I opened a drawer and fished through it. The other women here had been so kind and had given me a few things to wear. I mean I came here with nothing. This whole thing was outrageous, now that I had time to think about it. I get whisked away in the middle of the night by some henchman, being taken to one of those men who lusted after me after seeing me on that pole. A man I’d never met actually rescued me, then I was brought here with no belongings, no shoes, and no clothing, but I found something better than anything I could ever dream of.
A man who loved me and not lust-love like those men in the club. One who was made for me, who never made me feel like a juicy steak he wanted to eat whole. Prophet was like my best friend, someone who would always be there for me. All rolled up in a hot package of just what Ma had said...A real man.
Taking out a pair of cute pajamas, I shook my head and went back into the bathroom. I never saw any of that coming, but I sure as heck did not intend to lose him either.
Chapter Seven:The 180
Prophet
The hot shower felt good. I knew that tomorrow would be the absolute worst though. After I slept, I would wake up sore as hell. I didn’t fight on the regular, not like Talon probably did. I had been bucked off of horses and jammed by heavy steers, but a knock down all out fight was different. With a long release of breath, I lowered my head. Allowing the shower spray to span over my head and neck.
I thought about that fight. Fuck, I’d never mixed it up like that before. Sure, during our training for Requiem, Jarret even sent us into bars to grab a fight. Just to have us learn what that was like as compared to just working out in a gym and sparring. So, I had fought with my fists and in perilous situations a few times. But damn, I never faced a professional fighter and Talon was exactly that.
Hawk hadn’t exaggerated either. Neither had Ma, Claw fit him well. I paused to think about that woman, it felt like having…a mother again in a way. I shook that off, maybe I had my clock rung just a bit too hard in that ring? Or maybe I am just thinking about anything to avoid thinking about Jewel. Yes, I loved thinking about her, but too much. Like tonight, I wanted her to come to my room. I wanted that bad, but that would wreck what I had planned. She wasn’t like the other women I’d been with and that was a good thing. I’d meant it though, when I told her I didn’t trust myself with her in my room.
When I felt it, I froze. Turning around, I blinked rapidly as I tried to wipe the water from my eyes.
Jewel had stepped into the shower and I hadn’t even known it until she touched my back. Raising up on her tiptoes, she kissed me as her bare body came up against me. I automatically wrapped my arms around her and kissed her back. This had to be a dream or I was delirious from being punched too fucking hard.
The kiss was real, the taste of her was real. I groaned as I got hard all over while our tongues dueled. I suddenly didn’t care if it was delirium, I wanted this. I raised her legs so she was straddling my hips while easing her body up against the tiled wall without breaking the hot kiss.
We both were lost, I think. Yes, I’d thought a lot about how she would feel bare against me, but I wasn’t prepared for the reality of it. All of the sudden, the water hitting my back had gone cold and I shivered. Unfortunately for me, this woke me up. I broke the kiss as I stared into her dazed eyes and asked, “What are you doing here, Jewel?”
It was now her turn to blink at me.
“Just a second,” I said and reached over to turn the water off. Turning back, I still held her up against me. Looking into her eyes, I saw the hurt look there. “Oh baby, I’m not…I didn’t mean…”
“I thought you wanted me like I want you,” she whispered and lowered her head.
I let out a sigh and carried her out of the shower. Setting her down, I grabbed a towel. “Let me dry you off and we can talk about this, ok?”
She wouldn’t look at me as she said, “I was supposed to pamper you, not the other way around.”
I buffed her curvy body with the towel and I realized doing this had been a bad idea. Her glistening skin gleamed with a rosy color, creamy all over. Her breasts were larger than I’d guessed and her nipples were erect. I licked my lips wanting a taste of them and then realized what I was doing. My head shot up. “Damn, woman. I can’t…” I wrapped the towel around her and even made sure I tucked it tight.
Instead of saying anything, she was now staring at me and she took me in from my feet all the way up to my face. “Wow, Prophet. You are really built. I mean…” She swallowed heavily as she looked me over. “It makes me feel…”
I shook my head as her looking at me like this made me even harder. If I didn’t break this up, I would be fucking her up against a wall soon. Mindless and hungry. Shit, I was no angel and this woman could make me break all the promises I made about her. Waiting until we were married or at least engaged. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my waist then made sure it was secured.
Grabbing her hand, I tugged her into the room. Then I halted as I stared at the bed and realized it might have been safer in the bathroom. I steered her over to a chair and sat her down. Man, I needed to handle this right. I had to make her understand that this was not—
