Page 107 of Altius
“You might not be afraid, but I am. Always afraid. What if I lose sight of my goal for one second, even to blink, and…andithappens again.” After inhaling a shuddering breath, I forced out the rest. “I wouldn’t care so much if I were the only one that got hurt. But life doesn’t work that way. You all suffer, too.”
Unspent tears burned my eyes.
“Every time I look at Mom, I remember how exhausted she was. I still see the stress in Pops’ face. Because he never regained the weight he lost while taking care of me. How patient and indulgent you all were, even when it took me five minutes to say my full name. And you…”
Mustering up my courage, I looked at Jenna and dislodged the deepest thorn in my heart.
“I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you again. So I stayed away. Because I thought it was what you wanted.”
Jenna refused to meet my gaze. She stood there, arms crossed, digging her toes into the dense pile of the area rug, rocking her body from side to side. “That supposed to be an apology?”
“No. What’s good’s an apology? It can’t undo the damage. Not what I did to you. Or what happened to me.” Running a hand through my hair, I sighed. “I’m sorry if the gifts are predictable. You’re right. I give you the same things because I think they might be useful without putting pressure on you. If you want something else—”
“Thisisn’tabout the gifts.” Distrustful eyes burned into my forehead. Still refusing to meet my gaze. “Is there anything—evenonething—I can hold on to? Something that can reassure me that this relationship is worth trying to salvage?”
I gestured at the mug on the nightstand. “Started drinking hibiscus tea again. I’d forgotten how much I liked it, relied on it, because of the color.”
“Why—what changed?”
Softly, oh so softly, I acknowledged the truth. “A man came back into my life. And he…still seesme. The way I was, but also who I am now. And he likes me as I am. Even though I’m different, and a workaholic.”
While I might not trust the anticipatory hum in my chest when I thought about lunch with the guys tomorrow, I couldn’t pretend it wasn’t there.
“It turns out that a little distraction from work can be a very good thing.”
“Do texts from your siblings count as welcome distractions—or annoyances?”
“Family means everything to me, Jenna. I know I’m not who I used to be, but I’ve never stopped being your big sister.” Steeling myself for rejection, I said, “You can text me. Any time. Day or night.”
Frowning, she studied the frosted skylight. “Can I think about it?”
“Take all the time you need.”
After a stiff nod, she all but fled. Seconds later, I heard the door to her bedroom click shut at the other end of the hall.
Leaving me in stunned yet hopeful silence.
Twenty-Five
Alijah
The farther we drove from Northport, the sweatier my palms got. At least I wasn’t alone. Wyatt couldn’t stop fidgeting in the passenger seat, fussing with his seatbelt between texts with Morgan.
My mate entertained himself by testing the limits of my hand’s mobility, bending my fingers every which way and pinching the skin on the back of my knuckles.
Only Owen seemed unbothered—if you ignored how stiffly he was sitting, even for him, hands never deviating from their grip at ten and two—consulting the GPS every other minute.
We occasionally spotted Cal’s silver truck pulling off for coffee or gas. Given his status as official boyfriend, I wondered if the drive was more torturous for him, or if he was enjoying the prospect of using the four of us as a meat shield.
“Brace yourselves,” Wyatt said, reading a new text from Morgan. “It’s a full house. Audra and Ethan are both there, with their packmates and the kids. Even Jenna’s in town. Only Piper had to leave.”
Turning, he hit everyone with an earnest gaze. “Don’t poke or prod at Jenna. Morgan’s orders. Seems they’ve got issues they’re working through.”
“Is Ethan fair game?” Joaquin asked. “I want to see if he’s as annoying as you make him sound.”
Owen brought us to a smooth stop at a four-way intersection in the heart of a picturesque downtown. It looked like the set of a holiday movie.
Garlands framed shop windows and doorways. Planters dotted every corner, filled with pine boughs, magnolia branches, and sprigs of red berries. Tinsel decorations in the shape of wreaths and snowmen hung from the streetlights.
