Page 81 of Dangerous Men
Because that small hope is all I have left to cling to.
Our conversation weighson me for the rest of the afternoon. The worries and anxieties pile up in my mind until it’s all I can think about. I know I should start researching other buildings we could move the business to, if it comes to that. Hell, I should start looking for apartments. Jade wouldn’t hesitate to let me crash with her, but that’s a temporary solution, at best.
I try to focus on my restocking, perched on the top rung of the step of the ladder I use to stock the higher shelves, but myhead is full of static. Overwhelmed. All I want is to curl up on my couch and forget the world exists, if only for a few hours.
Which is probably why the universe decides to throw another hurdle my way.
“Hey, babe,” a familiar voice says from behind me, smooth and casual. “Miss me?”
The voice alone sends a chill down my spine. I go still, frozen on the stepladder, my arm outstretched. I don’t need to turn around to know who it is. My hand trembles as I finish placing one last book on the shelf.
Maybe a week ago, a small part of me was missing him. But not anymore. Now, just hearing his voice makes my stomach curdle.
“No, Chase,” I say, anxiety settling into my throat and coloring my words. “I don’t miss you.”
He’s too close when I glance down, so close that I’m forced to brush against his chest as I step down from the ladder.
It hits me, then, how far back we are in the store. This is the farthest section from the entrance, and there’s no one else around. No one to step in if things get bad.
Knowing that makes my palms start to sweat.
I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t even want to look at him. But when I try to step around him to leave, Chase grabs my arm, pulling me back toward him.
“Come on, don’t be like that,” he chides, his voice dripping with feigned sweetness. “Jesus, Sydney, I just want to talk.”
I manage to yank my arm out of his grip, but when I take a step back to distance myself from him, I find the wall of books at my back. Trapped.
It hurts where he grabbed me. I rub my arm, trying to shake off the ache, but my voice remains steady. “We don’t have anything left to talk about.”
I remember, belatedly, our conversation at the charitybanquet and how he’d wanted to return some of my things. I’d never contacted him to collect them. I’d never even bothered unblocking him from my phone.
Since that night with Alec and Ash, I haven’t thought about him at all.
“If this is about my stuff, you can have the rest of my things shipped to my apartment,” I say. “Or throw it all away for all I care. I haven’t missed any of it since I left. I doubt I’ll even notice it’s gone.”
I’m surprised at how easily I say it. I spent so many years submitting to his every whim that I forgot how to stand up for myself. I forgot I can speak up for more than just Jade’s sake. But I remember now.
I finally remember what it’s like to stand up for myself.
I can’t help but feel like Alec and Ash have something to do with this. They make me feel like I’m enough. Like I don’t have to play pretend all the time. God, even Sebastian seems to like me more when I stand up for myself.
Chase isn’t as taken aback by my attitude as I expect him to be, though he does narrow his eyes, considering me.
“That’s not what I want to talk about,” he says, frustration simmering beneath his tone. He rakes a hand through his hair. “Could you just listen to me? Please?”
The pleading catches me off guard. And, as quickly as it came, my confidence waivers. Just like that, I revert right back to the people-pleasing version of myself.
Maybe it’s okay that he’s here. He doesn’t seem angry. Doesn’t seem like he’s in one of his moods. Maybe I can just hear him out. Maybe if I just listen to him, he’ll leave without a fuss.
My curiosity is piqued, and like always when he’s in one of his sweeter moods, I find myself relaxing, just a bit.
“Fine. What is it, Chase?” I ask tentatively.
“Come on, you never call me by my name. Why don’t you call me ‘babe,’ like you used to?” He smiles, the kind smile I remember, the one that used to make my heart flutter. The sweet smile I used to love. “You know I like it better when you call me babe.”
“Chase,we broke up,” I remind him. I rub my arm again, absently. “Please, just tell me what you want to say and go before Jade sees you and has a meltdown.”
Just like that, his mood shifts, and his smile shifts to a scowl. “That girl always had her issues with me,” he says. “It’s not my fault she never liked me, you know. That’s onher. It’s not my fault she’s always been a bitch.”
