Page 83 of Ebbing Tides
“They seem nice,” Melanie said, slipping her arm around mine as we watched Carol and Maxwell drive away and through the cemetery gates.
“They do, yeah,” I replied with a sigh.
She pressed her body to my side. “You read the letter.”
“I did.”
“Are you okay?”
“You mean, am I okay, knowing that my dad fucked a woman he wasn't married to, knocked her up, and lied to me my entire life about who my mother was?”
Melanie's arm tightened its hold in reply.
I couldn't help but laugh at the events of the last twenty-four hours. Hell, the last several days! The sound was a bit maniacal, like my sanity was holding on by nothing but a fraying thread, yet surprisingly, I didn't feel that way at all. In fact, apart from the shock, I honestly, truly was okay.
“Yeah,” I said, turning from the view of the cemetery gates to look down at her. Her head lifted to meet my gaze. “I'm fine, and for the first time in maybe forever … I actually mean it.”
***
She had left her kids at Charlie's place to come find me, and now that she had, Lido and I drove with her in her SUV back to the house on the hill to pick them up. On the way over, I called Sid and let him know I was coming.
“Don't fucking scare me like that again, Serg,” he warned before I could hang up.
“Scare you?” I laughed, shaking my head as Melanie drove through the winding cemetery roads. “You werescared?”
“You fuckin' asshole,” Sid growled, and I realized he was serious. “I shouldn't have to remind you that your history of ignoring calls and texts isn't great. It's usually a bad sign.”
I deflated with a sigh and plonked my elbow onto the window ledge as I reflected for a moment on my troubled past. “You're right. I'm sorry. It was a rough day, kinda crazy, but it's okay. I'll tell you about it later.”
“All right,” he muttered, a bit skeptical, but could I blame him? “Come by whenever.”
“You got it, man.”
The call ended as Melanie pulled the car up to the snowy curb at the foot of Charlie's hill. She looked up toward the house and sighed.
“You ready for this?” she asked, glancing at me.
“What do you mean?”
“Well,” she began, shrugging as she nestled into her seat, “the second we go in there, get the kids, and go to your sister's house, I'll know your family, and your family will know me. They'll know my kids. That makes this feel really, really …”
“Real,” I concluded, and she nodded, her eyes holding mine.
“Yeah,” she whispered. “Are you ready for that?”
Her hand was resting on her lap, and I reached over and intertwined our fingers as I brought her knuckles to my lips.
“Would it feel fake if you never met them?” I asked.
She slowly shook her head. “No,” she replied softly. “Honestly, I think …” Then she closed her eyes and turned away, inhaling deeply. “Never mind. Let's just—”
“Wait,” I said, giving her hand a gentle tug. “What is it?”
“No, I was just … I was going to say …” She exhaled, opening her eyes but keeping her gaze pinned to something outside her window. “I think my feelings for you might be the realest thing I've ever known,” she said in a hurry, like she couldn't get the words out fast enough. “The most …uncomplicatedthing. And I keep trying to not be terrified of what that means, but it scares the shit out of me.”
“It scares me too,” I admitted. “But it's not the way I feel about you that scares me. It's knowing that you are going to leave.”
“I was always going to leave, Max,” she reminded me. “We both knew that before we decided to do this.”
