Page 18 of Ebbing Tides
But now, in whatever deluded frame of mind he was in, he could only think of the times I'd left—and on his command!
So, yes, fuck him.
But fuck me too.
Fuck this miserable life that could never ever,evershow me a bit of mercy, even in the darkest of hours.
Fuck.
I squinted ahead of me at the small white building I holed myself up in night after night. It was true I was due for an eye exam, and I might've suspected I was in need of some glasses—age would do that to a guy, I guessed—but there was no mistaking the woman standing beside the door, dressed in much more appropriate attire for the weather.
“You skipped the slippers this time,” I joked weakly, climbing out of the truck and keeping the door open for Lido to exit.
I hoped she couldn’t sense the vile belligerence circling my brain or the tension in my stance.
She smiled, her cheeks turning rosy with embarrassment. “I decided that, if I was going to get lost again, I might as well be prepared.”
Good Lord, was she beautiful, with her reddish-blonde hair pulled back in that kind of ponytail that bounced and swayed with every step. A black headband was stretched over her ears, matching in color with the leggings and leather jacket that must've been at least two sizes too big for her frame. She was wearing makeup now too. A smudge of brown lined her inky lashes. Her lips, painted the color of rose petals. Full, soft, welcoming to my—
Nope, stop that.
I hastily turned my head and noticed a car parked not far from my truck. Not sure how I'd missed that when pulling up. Distracted probably.
“And you didn't walk this time,” I commented.
“Nope, but I'm making a habit of lying to my kids and brother-in-law.”
Turning back to her, I lifted a brow. “Charlie doesn't know where you are?”
She shook her head, seeming unashamed. “I told him I was running out to grab a few things at the store. I said I wanted to get out of the house without having three little boys begging me for everything they saw. He said he’d keep the gate open until I came back. I feel soscandalous.”
That last comment left her smiling, but her eyes held an unmistakable guilt.
“But you … came here?” I lifted both brows now in question as I flipped through my keys for the one to open the office door.
“Well, as it turns out, I don't think I can go this entire week without having a cigarette,” she admitted, leaning her back against the wall beside the door, lifting her shoulders in a helpless shrug.
“Ah, I see. So, you're addicted.”
“I'm …” She pursed her lips and looked beyond where I stood, toward the gravestones and mausoleums and the ghosts between the trees. “Actually, can I be honest with you?”
I couldn't imagine why she would be when she'd only just met me twenty-four hours ago, and still, I shrugged as I opened the door. “Sure.”
She turned to look at the open doorway, but didn't make a move to enter. Unsure if I should or not, I gestured inside. She watched my hand, then met my eye before pulling her lips into a reluctant smile and leading the way into the building with Lido at her flank. I wasn't sure what I'd expected from thisimpromptu visit, but I absolutely hadn't expected for her to slip her arms from the jacket and drape it over the other chair in the office. Like she was making herself at home. Like shewantedto be there. Withme.
“I came up here with this idea to get away for a while and give the boys some time with their uncle,” she explained, casting her gaze around the room. “It's not like I haven't visited before. It's … it's been years since Luke died, and we come up here for Christmas and sometimes for a few days in the summer. But, um … there's just …” Her hands fidgeted with the too-long sleeves of her dark gray sweater. “This feels hard. Being here. Spending time with Charlie. It feels different, and I—”
She cut herself short when her gaze swung to mine, and she laughed, her cheeks deepening still in hue. “Oh my God, why am I talking about this with you? I don't …”
She held a hand to her cheek, her eyes twinkling with the residual emotion and … something else. Excitement? Bewilderment? Whatever it was, I knew the feeling.
“Why do I feel like I know you?” she asked, her head tipping to the side, her eyes taking me in.
I huffed a soft chuckle as I dropped my gaze to the floor, nodding. “I don't know, but I've been thinking the same thing since last night,” I said as I pulled off my coat to hang on the hook beside the door. “There's something about you that I … you just remind me of—”
“Max Tailor.”
I swung my eyes back to hers. “What?”
