Page 31 of Serve
“I went to hold him, and he said, ‘don’t.’ It freaked me out. Like, I want to be there for him, I really do. But how can I be when he pushes me away?”
“He only said that, because he didn’t know if there were other photographers around. He’s been under the magnifying glass of the press for over a decade. He’s very sensitive to what they are capable of. They don’t care whose lives they ruin, as long as they get a juicy story. That’s how they make money. Try not to take it personally. I’m sure he doesn’t even remember it. He was trying to protect what you have from prying eyes, that’s all.” Tina took his hand in hers, squeezed it and let go.
“I know.” He mumbled.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, Tina admiring the way the fading sunlight cast a green glow through the trees. Chip brooded, worrying things in his head on a non-stop loop. Emm came back and poured herself another glass of sangria. Chip finally broke the silence, his voice quiet and defeated.
“Should I go back home? Am I hurting him by hanging around?”
“Maybe the pressure’s good for him, I mean, he’s in the final.” Chip stated. Tyler and his opponent, a young player from Germany, were warming up on the court in front of them. Emm snorted, then thought about it.
“You’ve got a point. But it also takes away from his focus. It’s hard to perform if your whole world seems on the verge of crashing down at your feet.” She sighed.
Tyler ignored all of her advice this week, and as a result he was winning. Normally this would be a cause for celebration, but Emm was nothing but doom and gloom. If he won, she’d get a sizable bonus. She’d also lose face if he did it his way, and not hers. He’d also think twice about keeping her on. Why pay her when his way worked, and hers didn’t?
Tina worked overtime keeping everyone happy, playing the role of peacekeeper. She was a natural at it, but it wasn’t a role she relished. She felt pulled between her loyalty to Emm, and her growing friendship with Chip.
“Let him win, and be happy for him if he does. I think he wants to hold this trophy, any trophy for that matter. Trust me, when he sets foot on a grass court, everything you’ve been teaching him will pay off, and he’ll know it’s because of you.” She patted Emm’s arm and turned her attention back to the court. Tyler won the coin toss and elected to serve. His game plan was to wear the younger man out, to test his fitness.
It worked.
Tyler ran the younger man ragged, aiming his shots as far away from his opponent as he could. The surprising thing was he volleyed more at the net than he’d ever done before, thanks to his work with Emm. He fell to the ground after winning match point. His body was covered in red dirt from the court. It looked like blood where it mixed with his sweat.
Chip’s eyes lit up at the sight of Tyler kissing the dirt. When he stood, the crowd roared its approval. He blew kisses to them, then faced his own box. His eyes met Chip’s, and his smile stretched across his face. Chip’s heart raced, thrilled to see all of Tyler’s hard work pay off. He turned to Emm, and saw she was on her feet too, cheering her player on.
Winning is everything to these guys, thought Chip. He realized he was on his feet with the rest of the crowd and sat down with a disquieting thought. He’d stopped clapping for a moment, then resumed, not wanting to betray his thoughts.
What’s going to happen if he stops winning, and is no longer being cheered by thousands of fans?
“I’m sorry I’ve been such a pain in the ass, Chip. My job is to win tournaments, and my window of opportunity is closing with each day. I have to take advantage of every single match if I’m going to leave the sport on my terms.” Tyler paced the floor in front of their bed.
When they arrived back at Emm’s brother's house, they’d popped open a bottle of champagne, but Chip declined a glass. After sipping his, Tyler excused them both, and took Chip up to their room.
“I know.” Chip said, staring at his lap. Tyler sat next to him and took his hand.
“What’s going on? You’ve been so quiet these last few days, and I don’t know why. If I’ve done something, I need to know what it is, so I can fix it. I need you to be happy. None of this is worth it if you aren’t on my side.”
“Of course I’m on your side, Tyler. I just…” He hung his head, then looked at their bags, packed and ready for Rome.
“I miss home.” Chip said.
“I do too. That’s where my heart is, not here, and definitely not in Rome. This is work, and I want more than anything to retire.” Tyler said, then leaned over and kissed him, softly at first, then he put his arms around Chip, pulling him in to his chest. Chip held him tight in return, his heart pounding. Tyler broke the kiss, and smiled.
“I love you.”
Chip laid his head against Tyler’s shoulder, a ball of emotion forming deep in his chest that wanted to exit through his throat. He choked for a moment, tears forming in his eyes. Tyler gently pushed him back, and stared for a long moment before speaking.
“Babe, I mean it. This is the end of the road for me. I want to be with you, making a home together.” He leaned his forehead against Chip’s.
“Can you get over it? Seriously, can you really give up winning? The look on your face when you lifted the trophy here, and in Houston, was… indescribable. How do you think you’re going to survive without it?” Chip asked quietly. Tyler closed his eyes and thought for a moment.
“I don’t have a choice in the matter. I’m going to start losing more matches whether I like it or not. I know thirty isn’t old to most people, but in tennis it’s the equivalent to sixty. I’ve accepted it. There’s nothing I can do, except move on. I’m ready to move on, really, I am.” He stood, then got on his knees and peered into Chip’s eyes.
“I’m playing right now for my legacy. If I win Wimbledon, I will be one of a select few men who’ve ever won all of the Grand Slam tournaments. It’s the only major tournament I’ve never conquered. This is my last chance. I’m not playing after this year. I’ve made up my mind, so this isn’t like a long-term plan, sleeping in hotel rooms and strangers' homes. I want to be done with this life, but on my terms. I can’t give up on tennis just yet, and I’m definitely not giving up on you.”
“I’m sorry, I, I’m sorry if I’ve…”
“Stop saying you’re sorry. I have a lot of pressure on me right now, and I’m the one who should be apologizing.” Tyler said. He wiped away a tear from Chip’s eye and smiled. A chime echoed throughout the house.
