Page 42 of Into the Blue
I see it though she tries to swallow it down.
“Keep your core tight,” I murmur, resting my hand over her middle. “Don’t lean. You cheat yourself like that.”
She nods once, face blank. Trying to prove she can do this alone.
I hate that about her.
Not the strength—never that. Her strength only makes her more fucking sexy. I don’t know anyone that could have gone through what she did and be this determined to move past it like it didn’t happen.
Not in my world.
It’s the lie she’s telling herself that she has to hurt quietly. Like she hasn’t earned softness. Like she can’t be softwith mewhen I’ve given her every opportunity to be.
I’m not the most romantic guy. Fuck, it’s not like I’ve even been on a date in a decade. But I’ve been taking care of her. I know I’ve been doing a decent job of it, too.
“Ten,” I say, and she lowers her arm slowly.
I’m still watching her closely in the mirror. “You good?”
She nods again, but I move before she can speak. I close the space between us, wide legs bracketing her hips, pulling her back until her spine rests against my chest. We sit like that for a time so she can rest.
I can’t make her stop pushing herself, but I can be here to support her if and when she needs me.
“Go for another set.” I pick up the other dumbbell and place it in her hand.
Her shoulder twitches and she bites her lip until color drains from it.
“That’s it,” I murmur against her ear. “Slow. Controlled. Got you.” My palm supports her bicep through the extension.
I stand behind my words. I mean it when I said I have her. I have to keep her safe from the fucked up parts of my world.This happened to her because of me.The guilt is foreign but well deserved.
I’m keeping her.
Even when I shouldn’t.
The smell of her, even a little sweaty from what she was doing before I got here, is intoxicating. I’m always drawn to her. Wanting to lean in and have more. Her body’s soft where mine is hard and it kills me to know someone touched her without permission. That they intended to hurt her and did so.
She didn’t deserve that.
“You shouldn’t be doing this so soon,” I mutter, fingers ghosting over the curve of her elbow, checking for tension.
“I need to feel strong again,” she breathes, meeting my eyes for the challenge. Her statement hits me square in the chest.
Strong.
I don’t doubt her strength, but that strength was never supposed to be built out of bruises.
“You already are,” I say. It slips out before I can stop it.
She lowers the dumbbell, lets it drop to the mat between her feet, and leans back against me fully this time. As we sit here together, her heart beats against mine.
“It’s not enough,” she whispers. “Maybe, I’m not enough.”
My eyebrows draw in with confusion. “For what?”
She shakes her head slowly, chaotic thoughts flitting through those eyes that search mine in our reflection. “I shouldn’t be here and you know it.”
“I don’t know shit. You’re mine,” I clarify. “Even if you don’t want to be. Even if you’re fighting what I’ve already told you. Gonna take care of it.”
