Page 2 of Ruthless Desires: Vol. Two
Guilt twinges in my chest. Did I scare him? I’m not exactly sure what he just walked into, but I know it was probably concerning.
“Can you tell me what just happened?” He keeps his voice even and gentle despite the panicked gleam in his eyes.
“I…” My gaze drifts back to the sink and the receding water. Howdidthis start?
After following my line of sight, Elliot pulls me out of the kitchen. The more distance there is between me and the water, the more clearly I can think. It’s like I can literallyfeelthe tension leaving my body.
In the living room, he sits on the love seat and draws me onto his lap. “Talk to me, love.”
My idea comes back to me, and I cringe. It’s stupid—god, it’s so stupid. But it was the only thing I could think of.
“Being around water has been difficult since… well, you know.”
Elliot nods slowly, watching me intently, but he doesn’t say anything.
“I’m trying to get over it,” I say. “I figured the sink is a good place to start. It still scares me, but I can step away from it if I need to.”
He frowns. “You didn’t look like you were able to doanything.”
“I wasn’t anticipating it to go that poorly,” I mutter. “The first time I did it, it was horrible. But I tried it again yesterday, and it went all right. But today…” I shake my head. “I couldn’t control my thoughts.”
When I meet Elliot’s eyes, my stomach sinks. He looks so worried.
“You weren’t breathing.”
Holding his gaze feels too intense, so I look down, trailing my fingers along the ridges of his sweater. “I felt like I was drowning.”
With a sigh, Elliot pulls me closer to him. I rest my head on his shoulder, focusing on taking deep breaths.
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” I mumble.
“I know, love.” His lips feather over my hairline. “But you don’t have to do this on your own. You know that, right?”
I nod.
“It’s up to you,” he says softly. “I don’t want to push you into anything you’re not comfortable with. Just promise me you won’t do anything dangerous.”
“I promise.” It’s not like I can’t swim, either. But I’m also planning on avoiding pools and large bodies of water while we’re in Florida. The thought of being surrounded by that much water makes me shudder.
“That’s why you had Rhett drown Jordan, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” I whisper.
It’s been three days since we killed Jordan in the basement. I’m glad we got it over with, but I’ve had a couple moments of regret. Not for killing him, but for ending his life too soon.
Now is one of those moments.
Why am I the one who has to live with the aftereffects of his actions? He’s not in pain anymore. He’s notanythinganymore. But I am. I’m tired and angry and trapped in my own thoughts and terrified I’ll never find a way out.
In a way, death was mercy for Jordan. And I hate that we gave it to him. At the same time, regretting that we didn’t torture him more is such an unexpected thought for me to have. It’s unsettling.
“Are you still okay to…” Elliot trails off, grimacing, and I understand why. He was about to give me the opportunity to ask for something he can’t really follow through on.
“I’m good, Ell. Promise.”
We leave tomorrow for the job Ludo Holloway hired the guys for. It’s entirely too late to back out now, and we both know it. The guys need to get as close to Ludo as possible, and this is the best opportunity they’ve ever been presented with.
After a long breath, Elliot nods. “You’ll always have one of us with you. And if you ever find yourself alone, no one will know where we’ll be. You’ll be safe. I swear, Wren, I’m never letting anyone hurt you again.”
