Page 94 of Meet Me in the Valley
“I wanted to push away my feelings for you because you made it clear there was nothing happening between us. I was shit-faced and needed a way to get you out of my head.”
“Oh, so it’s my fault then?”
“No. It’s not your fault. I didn’t say that.”
I dig the heels of my hands into my eye sockets. This is why I don’t do relationships. I thought honesty was the best policy, and was willing to put my best foot forward because it’s what Tia deserves. I wouldn’t do this for any other woman.
I told myself it was for her. That it would be worth it. But now I’m left with nothing but the bitter sting of regret, curling in my stomach like smoke from a fire I lit with my own hands.
Goddamnit.
“Typical Logan,” she scoffs. “When shit gets too real, you find a wet pussy to sink your dick into instead of facing reality.”
Sharp pain slices through my chest. She knew exactly where to hit, and she didn’t miss. She made sure I felt the wrath—and the unfortunate truth—behind her words, gutting me completely. And damn if it didn’t work.
My jaw clenches as the bitter sting settles. I force a breath through my nose, trying to keep the storm from breaking loose inside me.
“You want to talk about facing reality?” I bite back. “You were the one who ran away from me! I confronted you—practically begged you to tell me what was happening between us was real. That I wasn’t going crazy over your jealousy or the way you were looking at me—touching me?”
“I’m sorry, okay? Yes, I denied you. I lied. I lied because I was terrified of my feelings for you, Logan. Jesus.” Tia sweeps her hand over her face, subtly wiping a single tear from the corner of her eye. “Over ten years of friendship and trust. Watching you plow through your endless revolving door of women, and then suddenly I had these feelings I couldn’t explain. I denied you because I was afraid you’d do something like this!” she shrieks, throwing her defeated hands in the air.
Her lack of faith in me is sobering. I know I’m a piece of shit who doesn’t care about women’s hearts. And the one time I do, I’m already screwing it up six ways from Sunday. My mind scrambles for ways to make this right, but the only thing that comes to mind is the need to touch her.
“You asked me earlier if this was real?” I lunge toward her, grabbing her wrists and forcing her hands to lie on my bleeding heart.
“This? Us?” I slap her palms against my chest. “Is fucking real. And you know what? I don’t give a shit if you lied to my face and told me you felt nothing for me.” I press our foreheads together, causing her breath to stutter. “Because your body tells me differently. Your eyes, your heart …” I release the grip onher wrists, trailing down her body until I land at the juncture between her thighs. She lets out a faint gasp. “Yourpussy. I know every inch of you, baby. So, go on and lie to me all you want, because I won’t believe you.”
We stand there, breathing the thick tensioned air between us. Tia’s eyes squeeze shut. Then she pushes me away, breaking the physical connection that has me wanting to crumble to the floor.
“It’s my fault. I knew this couldn’t work from the start,” she whispers, giving me her back with her head hung between her shoulders. She closes her suitcase, resting her hands on top of it.
“Why would you say that? Hey, look at me.” I come up behind her, circling her waist. “Baby, look at me,” I murmur against her ear.
She reluctantly turns around to face me, and when her eyes open, it knocks the breath out of me. So much beauty and pain in one expression, it takes everything to not lean in and kiss it all away.
“Please don’t say that. We’re good together, T. Fucking electric. You’ve gotta see that. I made a mistake. I’m so fucking sorry. I thought of you the entire time I was with her. I even called out your name when I?—”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better? That you thought of me the whole time your dick was inside of her? Jesus Logan, stop fucking talking. Please,” she begs. A single tear breaks the barrier, trailing down her cheek. I catch it with my thumb, swiping it away much like how I wish I could swipe away my night with Krista.
“I don’t want to know. I don’t want to think of you with her. Just …” Tia shakes her head back and forth like she’s trying to erase the image out of her head. “Just drop it, okay? Clearly, we are not ready for this. We aren’t mature enough to handle this thing between us.”
A sudden wave of anger crashes through me. I can take her calling me out on my shit. I can take her calling out my sick need to have a different woman every week to suppress the deep-rooted issues I have with commitment.
But Tia giving up? I won’t accept that.
“Don’t do that. I regret that night with her—especially now, after seeing how it’s tearing us apart. But if anything, it made it crystal clear that I should be here with you. I don’t want to be the guy I was before, T.”
The words scrape out of me, heavy with truth. I can see them hit her. It’s in the tight line of her jaw, the flicker in her eyes. Pain threads through every syllable, wrapping around my throat—but it’s nothing compared to the ache of watching her hold herself together to keep from breaking in front of me.
Her gaze fixes on the couch. The ceiling. The window. Anywhere but on me.
Frustration bubbles up too hot for me to temper it.
“Damn it, Tia, look at me!” I shout. Her head jolts toward me, eyes wide at the boom of my voice.
“Logan, what do you want me to say? I want to believe you. I really do. But you sleeping with Krista just proved my point. Youarethat guy. And honestly, I have no right to be upset over this because we weren’t even together,” Tia sighs. “How do I know you won’t get sick of me? How do I know you won’t get bored?”
“Do you hear yourself?” I point out incredulously. “Sick of you? Bored with you? All I want isyou. All the fucking time. This works because we’re friends, Tia. You’re not just some random fuck! Can’t you fucking see that?”
