Page 79 of Meet Me in the Valley
One photo catches my eye of Cali. She’s a little younger than she is now, sitting on the lap of a beautiful blonde woman. The woman looks older, with kind features and a pair of brown eyes that feel oddly familiar.
I lean forward slightly in my seat, narrowing my focus to catch the resemblance,
but the soft clink of Nora setting my tea down beside me pulls me gently back.
“Calista took those.” Nora says with pride, taking a seat on the couch across from me as we both stare at the pictures.
“Is she into photography?” I ask, trying my best to simmer down the resentment boiling deep in my belly. I remind myself this is my sister, not some random, evil person I’m sitting across from.
“Yeah. She’s a really creative kid. She begged me every Christmas since she was four for a nice DSLR camera.” Nora chuckles, clearly amused by the notion of a little four-year-old Calista asking for a thousand dollar camera instead of a dollhouse or Playdough set. My heart tugs and aches, wishing I knew that memory for myself. I want to be the aunt who spoils her niece by buying her a thousand dollar camera just because she can.
But I’m not—and that wasn’t my choice. The resentment I’ve been trying to ward off rises too fast for me to stop. I don’t know if it’s easier to scream, cry, or walk out the door and stay angry, but the words tumble out of me with velocity.
“I’m so fucking angry with you, Nora. How could you do this to me? To us?” I’m rambling, throwing my hands in the air, fighting the urge to stand and get in her face. I understand there’s a child down the hall, but I can’t stop the anger lacing my voice as I lay a new one on Nora.
“You didn’t just leave, you know?”
“I know.”
“No. You don’t know. You left me to hold the pieces together. You asked me to keep your whereabouts from Mom and Dad, and I listened to you because I loved you that much. I didn’t agree with your choice to leave, but what the hell was I supposed to do? You were eighteen and so sure you could cut us out.” I take a deep breath, feeling the wetness on my cheeks as I let twelve years of a shit-storm out.
“This whole time, Nora. Jesus,” I cry. “This whole time you left because you were pregnant.” The tears are falling too quickly to wipe away. I’m hiccuping, struggling to suck in breaths. I fucking hate crying, but this is too much for me to handle. Regret sinks in like a rusty anchor, and I’m the ocean floor.
“I told you last night that Mom is sick. I spared the details because I wasn’t expecting to see you then. But now Cali is in the picture, Nora. You hid her this entire time, and Mom is dying! Her brain is rotting. She’s forgetting us. Do you know she calls me Nora? Do you know how much that fucking hurts?”
The whole time I rant, Nora just stares with an emptiness in her gaze. I watch her hands tremble as she tries to steady her steaming cup of tea. This is so typical of her. She’s always been so stoic, so rigid, always striving for perfection. The entire time I spew my anger, she just sits there frozen in place, apart fromthe tears dripping past her chin. She doesn’t even bother to wipe them away.
“Damn it, say something!” I yell. She flinches at my tone, covering her face with her hands as if she’s trying to hide from me. No more hiding. I don’t care if her child can hear me. I deserve to hear why she chose to do this alone.
She finally uncovers her face, her hazel eyes boring into mine. “I was scared, Tia. I was eighteen, pregnant, and terrified of the consequences. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I left the weight of my issues on your shoulders. I’m sorry Mom is sick. I’m sorry she calls you Nora. I’m sorry I never came back to you. I’m so fucking sorry for everything, Tia,” she sobs, and it breaks my heart all over again.
I imagine myself in her shoes, a child pregnant with a child and not a single clue about how to move forward with what’s right and wrong.
Taking a few deep breaths, I calm myself down before I rise from my seat. I’m in front of her within two strides, sitting next to her with my hands tightly squeezing hers. The love I have for Nora outweighs the resentment I feel for her. I can choose to push my feelings aside to hear her out. For now, anyway.
“I’m sorry you felt you had to do this alone. I would’ve been there for you. I mean, Jesus. Twelve years?” I choke back a sob. We lean into each other, my head resting on her shoulder as we both silently cry for the lost time between us.
“Does Cali know who I am? When we showed up?” My eyes stay trained on the steam wafting from my tea, and I feel Nora nod her head against me.
“After I ran into you at the casino, I knew I had to tell her you were here, and that she’d be meeting you.”
I look toward the hallway by the front door, where Cali and Logan are hopefully getting along. Knowing Logan, he willprobably end up being that girl’s best friend at the end of all this. Something about that makes my heart swell.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you.”
“I deserved it,” she replies with a small smile, nudging my shoulder with hers.
I replay the night Nora left over and over like a broken record in my head.
“Can I ask where and why you’re going? And why were you trying to sneak away without saying bye to me? Was it something I did?”
“It has nothing to do with you. I just . . . I have to . . . I can’t stay here. This town. I need to get out.”
“But why? Nora, you’re shaking. Talk to me? Please talk to me!”
“Tia, don’t make this harder than it needs to be. I just have to go.”
The pain I feel from that night is still evident. The sting hasn’t lessened all these years later. But one thing I know about Nora for sure is that when she sets her mind to something, it’s done.
