Page 96 of When We Were More
“I’m not surprised, I don’t think she’ll remember—” he glances at Layla, who’s watching cartoons, “—Jeana. She was so young. She probably does think you’re her mom. Since we’ve been together, you’ve done most of the things a mother would do for her.”
“Are you okay if she keeps calling me that?” My words are hushed, barely above a whisper.
“Are you?”
I bite my lower lip, then nod. “Yeah, I liked how it felt.” I glance over at Layla. “I’d like to be a mom to both girls, when you’re ready, that is.”
Henry’s eyes gloss over, and he swipes at them before a tear can fall.
“Fu-udge, woman. You sure know how to get right to the heart of a man, don’t you?”
“Just tell me if and when you’re ready. No pressure.”
He nods. “Let’s see what happens organically, I guess. If Lena keeps calling you Mama, we’ll go with it. If Layla starts, then we’ll act naturally and see if she wants to talk about it at all. Does that work?”
I nod. Lena’s now asleep in my arms, and as much as I love her, she’s growing fast and getting heavy to hold for long periods.
“I’m gonna go lay her down. Do you want to see if Layla is ready for us to talk about the house?”
“Sure. Good plan.”
I manage to get Lena in her crib without waking her, and when I get back to the living room, Henry and Layla are sitting on the couch, TV off, waiting for me. I sit on the sturdy coffee table and face them. Then, I look to Henry, so he knows I’m ready.
“Ladybug, you know how we’ve been moving some of our stuff over to the farmhouse for when we live there?”
“Uh huh,” Layla answers, nodding.
“Well, I think we’re ready. What do you say we have Uncle Harry come help me move your bed today and put together a real bed for Lena, and we start sleeping there?”
“Really?” Layla’s eyes light up. She’s been begging to move to the farmhouse for about six weeks now.
“Really.” I smile at her. “It’ll be much easier to finish getting ready for your party, too, because we’ll all be together.”
“Yes! Let’s do it. Can we go now?” She stands as if she’s ready to start packing, and Henry and I both laugh.
“We’ll do it today, we promise. How about you and I start packing your clothes while Lena naps? Then, when she wakes up, we can pack hers while Daddy and Uncle Harry move your bed.”
“Let’s go!” Layla takes off for her bedroom without a backward glance.
We spend the early part of the day getting things packed and moved over to our farmhouse. The reaction when Layla saw her princess themed bedroom finished was priceless. Henry ran back to the cabin because he had moved everything over,excepthe forgot his toothbrush and toiletries. I’m bone tired and can’t wait until he gets back so we can go to bed together.
As I kiss a sleeping Layla’s head and check on Lena once more, kissing her pudgy pink cheek, happiness overwhelms me, but in a good way. A very good way. I sit in the rocker in her room and listen to the adorable sounds of a snoring toddler. Here, in our home.
“Gram, I think you would have loved these angels,” I whisper. “Maybe I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure you sent me this family. Nothing will ever make losing you too soon feel right, but I sense you all around this house. I hope you enjoy watching all the joy and love that lives here with me now. I miss you, and I love you. Thank you for always choosing me.”
I close my eyes and continue to rock in the chair, soaking in the sounds and the feel of our home now that we’re all here together. I’m at peace, in love with my life now, and my heart is healed and filled with more. More love, joy, laughter, hope ,and everything else this beautiful life has to offer.
CHAPTER 36
Henry
I’ve got my toiletries packed, the heat turned down since no one is living here now, and I sit in my favorite chair. Since the farmhouse has all its own furniture, we were able to keep most of the furnishings here.
“Hey, Dad. I can’t believe I’ll be officially moved out of this cabin soon. I’m grateful it was here for me and the girls to stay in. I wish you could have met them. You would have been a great grandpa. You sure were an amazing dad. Then there’s Matilda…You’d have loved her. I genuinely thought that love wasn’t in the cards for me until I met her. I imagine if you were still alive, you would have been smirking about how quickly I fell in love with her. She completes our family, and now I know why you and Mom were always grinning like fools around each other. I feel it. Anyway, I’ve gotta get back to the farmhouse. My girls are waiting for me. But I wanted to take a minute to tell you I love you and I miss you every day. Thanks for being the best dad.”
I grab my small bag and walk to the door. After I step out onto the porch, I take one last look at the cabin. It was my dad’s dream place, and someday, maybe it will be someone else’s. Mine though? My home is where my three girls are, and they’rewaiting for me in a farmhouse on the other end of this small town that’s worked its way into my heart. I shut the door and lock it, then I head home.
When I pull up to the farmhouse, Matilda is on the old cedar swing, wearing my college sweatshirt, the purple afghan covering her legs. The late evening sky is full of bright stars. It’s beautiful, but it’s no match for Matilda. It strikes me that, all plans be damned, now is the time.
