Page 86 of When We Were More
Tillie
Jake has been a lifesaver tonight. Even if he is talking my ear off. I’m not one for big crowds, so I was nervous about coming to this party, even before I saw Henry earlier. I almost didn’t come, but that would have made a statement louder than any words I could say to Henry. As terrified as I am about the feelings he confessed and all the thoughts and emotions I’m having over this… this whatever it is I have going on with him, I miss him. Seeing him and Layla today highlighted just how much I miss all three of them.
So, I came, and when I got here, I looked around and didn’t see Henry. I became more and more self-conscious and thought about leaving. Then Jake walked up. He told me how beautiful I was, asked me to sit with him, Sally, and Ruthie, and guided me to their table. I’ve been careful not to mislead him, but I’m grateful for him being here tonight.
Ever since Henry and his brothers did the initial welcome, I’ve known where Henry has been at any given moment. That’s how I know the beautiful woman from the party—tall, willowy, gorgeous blonde hair and a body much thinner than mine—sat with him at dinner. When I saw her, I had to fight back tears.
Is he here with her? Why would he say all those things he’s said to me about love and wanting me, then be with her? Was he lying to me when he said that nothing happened?
It got worse when I saw her hand on his forearm, and it shouldn’t have hurt when he didn’t move his arm away, but it did. Badly. I’ve not been able to finish my dinner due to nausea.
But he’s not mine, I remind myself. Friends only… I made that clear from the start. He gave me the chance for more, and I said no.
“Uh oh,” Jake says, peering toward his left. “Here comes the new boss. Hopefully, I can impress him.”
I turn my head in the direction Jake is looking as Henry stalks across the dance floor, his eyes narrowed in on our table, his lips pursed.
He doesn’t make it to us, though, before the woman he had dinner with intercepts him.She touches him again, this time gripping his upper arm.There’s a familiarity in the way she puts her hands on him. It unsettles me and makes my skin burn. I don’t want to think about what that means.
Henry stops to talk to her, and I can’t take my eyes off of them. His face is angled away from me, and I can’t fully see his expression. They look beautiful standing together, as if designed to be each other’s perfect physical match, and I hate the thought.
When he turns his body toward her, Henry places a hand on her shoulder. My stomach tightens with discomfort. It’s not good for me to continue watching this. Still, it takes me a second or two before I divert my eyes.
“If you’d excuse me, I need to use the ladies’ room,” I say to Jake.
If Henry was indeed coming to our table, I don’t want to be here for it. I’m not ready to participate in casual conversation if he’s already moving on.
“Oh, okay. I keep forgetting that you already know the Arons.”
I’m not sure how Jakeforgetsit. I think it was pretty clear at the pie party that Ruthie and Sally hosted that Henry and I were acquainted with each other.
I grab my clutch and move to stand when I realize I didn’t leave the table in time.
“Seems like you two are having a great time. Glad you both could make it.”
Henry’s voice causes a physical reaction in me, drawing me to him. I also notice a slight slur. I turn to look at him and find him staring at me, not even acknowledging Jake. On top of that, he’s turned one of the chairs around and is sitting on it backward, resting his forearms on top of the chair’s back and leaning toward me. He’s closer than social norms allow for people who are only friends.
The smell of whiskey on his breath is intense, and I find myself leaning away from him. It doesn’t go well with the nausea that’s been churning in my gut for the last few minutes.
“Yeah, it’s a great party, boss. Thank you again for choosing me for the internship. It’s an amazing opportunity.”
Henry rudely doesn’t even glance at Jake while he’s talking, too busy glaring at me as if I’ve done something wrong.
“Yeah, congrats. But I didn’t make the decision alone. It was a group decision.”
“Well, still, thank you very much.”
I glance over at Jake, who again seems star-struck by Henry. Who knew that there could be celebrities in the carpentry world? It seems ridiculous, but I don’t want to rain on Jake’s parade.
“What have you two been talking about all night?” Henry’s question isn’t innocent, nor is it born out of true curiosity. Clearly, he’s annoyed. “It seems that you’ve been having awonderfultime.”
I straighten my shoulders. I don’t know what his problem is, except I think there’s a good chance he’s drunk. It’s not something I’ve ever witnessed with him before. Henry is usually in control. He’s not typically this edgy.
“It’s been a lovely evening, thank you.”
“Jake, doesn’t Matilda look ravishing in this dress?”
“Hell yes. I’ve been telling her that all night. I think she’s getting sick of hearing it.”
