Page 51 of When We Were More
“Lena was born, and everything was okay at first. But Jeana grew restless and almost resentful of the kids. Sometimes, it seemed like she was jealous of the time and attention theyreceived. I’m aware that sounds weird. It’s like she didn’t appear to have maternal instincts. She hated it here in Aron Falls, but especially here at the cabin. She wanted something fancier, more modern. Then, when Lena was about a year old, Jeana took off for a few weeks. No contact whatsoever. When she returned, she asked for a divorce.”
“Oh, wow. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m not. It was best for everyone.”
“How often does she see them?”
Here’s the part that always makes me sick to my stomach when I think about it too much. I take a deep breath.
“She doesn’t. She didn’t want any visitation or formal custody. She told me she wanted a divorce settlement of $100,000 cash, and she wanted to sign away all rights tobothgirls. At first, I was opposed, not because of the money, which doesn’t matter, but I couldn’t believe she’d give up rights to the kids. She made it clear she was fine not having rights to them, and she was willing to put a price tag on them. Now, both girls are one hundred percent mine, I’m divorced, and Jeana hasn’t shown her face back in Aron Falls or even tried to call for almost fifteen months.”
I watch Tillie closely for her reaction. Her face is red and her eyes glossy.
“I-I need a minute. Can I use your bathroom?”
“Of course, I’m sorry if I upset you.”
“Oh, my gosh, no. Henry, I promise it’s not you. I… I mean, how? How could someone walk away from those two precious little girls?” I know it’s rhetorical, and I watch as a tear drop spills onto her pretty cheek. “I’ll be back.”
She rushes off to the bathroom.
It’s almost five minutes before she comes back. Her face is a little splotchy, with her eyes rimmed slightly in red, but she’s not crying.
“Tillie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you sad.”
“Please, Henry. It’s not your fault. But I should probably go. I’m guessing I’ve overstayed my welcome.” She forces a smile.
As if on cue, Layla pulls off her headphones because her movie is over, and I can hear Lena’s cries as she wakes up from her nap.
Tillie says goodbye to Layla, and I’m not surprised when Layla gives her a giant hug. What breaks me a little is seeing my baby watch through the window as Tillie drives away, then hearing her softly say, “I hope you come back again.”
CHAPTER 20
Tillie
Every year on the night before Thanksgiving, we have a pie party. It’s loads of fun and there are always a ton of delicious treats. This year, though, we had to delay it, now we’re having it the week before Christmas. Sally & Ruthie are hosting, and for the first time, I’ve made Gram’s butterscotch pie.
Gram loved butterscotch. She made the best butterscotch cake and the best butterscotch pie. She taught me how to make both, but this is the first year she wasn’t here to help me. My confidence is down a little because of my dad’s response to the cake when I took him some on Thanksgiving, but it will mean a lot to the people who loved Gram that the pie is still there. I made an extra cake too because that’s a favorite as well.
It’s getting colder and snowing now, and I shiver a bit as I walk up the path to Ruthie and Sally’s front door. When I get there, I lift my hand to knock, but the door opens before I make contact with it. Jake is standing before me with the biggest grin on his face.
“Hey, Tillie, it’s great to see you.” He reaches out and takes the dessert boxes from me, but at the same time, he plants a kisson my cheek. What the hell? I never did go on that date with him, and I certainly don’t agree we’re at a cheek kissing level of friendship. I decide to let it go and walk into the house.
After hanging up my coat and wiping off my feet, I head to the large kitchen and dining room combination that Ruthie and Sally use to host these types of parties. This was part of the project Henry and his company did for the ladies. They took down a half wall and put gorgeous cedar support beams up. It opened up the space in a fabulous way.
I give Sally a hug and Lester a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Ruthie and I typically don’t hug. I think the last time was at Gram’s funeral. I’m not sure if she hugs anyone besides Sally now. She used to hug Gram. A twinge of sadness washes over me, and I force myself to push it aside. Today is a day to be happy with people I care about.
“Hi, Ruthie. Happy pie party day.”
“Happy pie party day, kid.”
Lester chimes in, “Please tell me you made Mari’s butterscotch pie.”
“I did. A butterscotch cake, too. Neither will be as good as Gram’s was, but I think it’s close. Jake has them right there.”
I gesture to Jake, who’s standing right behind me, almost too close. He hands off the treats to Sally, and she takes them over to the display area she has set up. Whenever Sally and Ruthie host anything, Sally always insists on a fancy aesthetic.
“Oh, did you and Jake come together?” Ruthie winks at me.
