Page 49 of When We Were More
Tillie looks at me, and I nod. “I’ll get thesurpriseready. How do you take your coffee?”
“Uh, some half and half or milk. Whatever you have.”
Seconds later, Layla is leading Tillie down the hall, and I do as Layla instructed and get the treats ready. A few minutes later, I have the bakery box and dishes at the table. There’s coffee for me and Tillie, and apple juice for the girls.
When they get back from checking out Layla’s room, I take Lena from Tillie and put her in her booster seat, handing her the sippy cup with her juice.
“I picked yours special, Tillie.” Layla opens the box and points to some very sugary-looking treats. I see Tillie bite her lower lip, but she takes one. I notice it’s the blueberry cake donut—the one that looks the least sugary.
I take the Danish out of the box and set it on the table in front of her. Her eyes widen.
“You don’t have to eat that one, Matilda. It’s mostly symbolic. Someone told me that friends have coffee and Danish together and that they know each other’s… What were your words? Immediate relatives? Oh, no, it was immediate family tree members, I think.”
She rolls her eyes at me, but she smiles along with it.
I pull out the sprinkle donut and cut it into small pieces for Lena.
“For my tummy,” she says cheerily. She has her eye on the donut, practically salivating.
“Yes, it’s yours.” When I finish cutting it, I set it in front of her, and she’s happy as a clam.
Meanwhile, Layla is already busy talking Tillie’s ear off. When she stops for a few seconds to take a drink of her juice, I lean toward Tillie. “I promise it’ll settle shortly, and we can talk toilets.” Tillie brushes me off and continues to split her attention between the two girls, both of whom are vying for it in their own special ways.
I sit back and watch for a few minutes, and as I take it all in, I’m slightly anxious. The way my girls react to her makes me worry they aren’t okay without their mom around, but it also makes me wonder if letting them meet Tillie—friend or not—in their home setting is going to end up to their detriment. Hell, I hope not. I’m doing my best to navigate raising them, but I’m not perfect.
Eventually, I see Lena is wearing out and, though she’s still chatty, Layla is calming down as well. There’s finally a lull in her talking, and I take advantage of it.
“Okay, ladies. Here’s what I think we’ll do next. I’m gonna clean Lena up a little and lay her down for her nap. Layla, please take your dishes to the kitchen and wash your hands. When I get back from laying Lena down, I’ll set up a movie for you to watch while Tillie and I talk about work.”
I can see on her face that Layla wants to object, but then thinks better of it.
“Do you mind if I get more coffee?” Tillie asks.
“No, of course not. Any chance you’d pour me another? I take it the same as you.”
“Sure.”
Then, everyone is moving. Ten minutes later, Lena is cleaned up and down for her nap, Layla has her headphones on and is watching the same princess movie for the millionth time, and Tillie and I are sitting at the table.
I’ve grabbed a legal pad to take notes and have it with me.
“Oh, you’re serious about getting a working plan for the bathroom done. I was beginning to wonder.”
I glance at her, and she’s sporting the prettiest, playful smile.
“Well, you still want to get started after Christmas, right? If that’s not your timeline or if financially it’s not feasible, that’s okay as well.” I realize she recently splurged on a major expense for her kitchen.
She waves her hand at me.
“No, I definitely want to do it. I’m in desperate need of a better bathtub and a shower that I can move around a little in. Plus,” she looks down at her napkin for a second, “my grandmother had the money saved for this remodel. She never had the chance to get it done before she became so ill. When I inherited the house, the remodeling fund came with it. I’ll be able to get everything done that I want, and then some.”
I don’t say anything yet, as I sense there’s more. When she finally looks me in the eye again, there’s a hint of sadness that wasn’t there earlier.
“This might seem like a frivolous thing to some people, but it’s important to me to renovate the house and restore the original beauty when I can. I need to do this for her. Yes, I’m definitely going to reap the benefits, but Gram and I spent a lot of time planning these rooms together—mostly her—and she really wanted it. She-she made me promise I would still do it. The woman even had one of those social media accounts with several vision boards for each room.”
I think this is one of the deepest conversations we’ve had to date—at least without alcohol involved—and I like it. I like that Tillie’s trusting me to talk about this. That she’s putting her faith in my company with this project that’s incredibly important to her.
“Hey, I absolutely get it. Glance around this place and you’ll see twelve years of me trying to make this what I think my dadwould have wanted it to be. I love it here, but it is on the small side for us, and it washisdream for his forever home. Not mine. I’m trying to make it happen for him, though. So, don’t ever apologize for your reasons. You don’t ever need to explain them to anyone.”
