Page 16 of Hearts Adrift
“Nope.” I wipe my lips off with the back of my arm, throw her a wink, and see myself out.
Chapter 5 - River
I’m not sure what Cissy sees, but I can’t see it yet.
First episode, couldn’t finish it. Not because it’s bad. It was actually smart and quick-moving. But the longer I sat on that couch watching a young actor crushing it with their first obvious breakout role, in a series I already know will be at every awards show, on the cusp of an awesome and exciting career, I realized my stomach couldn’t bear it, and I shut the TV right off and interrupted Cissy midsentence.
The dark screen was a hundred times more comforting.
Anya never called back. That isn’t a good sign.
But the next time I see my agent’s name pop up on my phone, I finally suck it up and answer.
He’s not happy, but he’s past being angry. “Just lay low,” he tells me. “I don’t care where you are, who you’re with, what you’re doing,whoyou’re doing, just stay there, outta sight, and let our team do what you pay them to do: handle the backlash. Stay off the internet, River, or so help me, I’ll cast you in a Hallmark Christmas movie.”
I guess that’s the gist of our convo.
Stay put. Do nothing. Say nothing. Let us do our jobs.
An hour later, I decide to do the exact opposite of what I’m told and hop on my phone to take the temperature.
The noise hasn’t died down. In fact, it’s gotten worse.
#RiverRage.
#SetOff.
#WhenActorsAttack.
#CanSomeoneCheckOnRiver.
I don’t imagine that last one is any actual attempt to check on my wellbeing. These internet trolls are laughing at what appears to be my public mental breakdown against a director I simply had “creative differences” with, because that’s how petty everyone has decided I am. Disagree with the River Wolfe, and you get clocked in the face because I’m a difficult diva. Oh, yeah, that’s yet another hashtag for you: #DivaDickEnergy, my personal favorite.
If only they knew the full story.If only anyone did.
Not to mention everyone’s so concerned about the film itself: the long-awaited sequel toWingless Angels, which is now put on hold—and of course, I’m to blame for that, too. All the fan boys are shedding tears of rage that I’d have the audacity to delay this cherished production. No one cares why. No one even speculates. It’s just my ego standing in the way of their experience buying overpriced popcorn and devouring it in the darkness of a theater. Will they replace River? Who can possibly replace the lead in a sequel? Can they CGI his face for the remaining scenes?
That isn’t the worst part. They’re digging up my past now, too. Like this incident I had seven years ago when I was fired from a film, which labeled me a temperamental “difficult to work with” actor earlier in my career. And this play I did in college where I had a breakup the night before it premiered and caused this huge ruckus backstage. They even dug up this ridiculous audition I attended where I kind of pitched a fit when I was cut off because our pieces could only be thirty seconds. I was young and entitled.
And then there was a little thing that turned into a big thing three years ago when I went off-script one shoot and offended the writer so badly that we had to hold ameeting.They even brought in two of the producers to discuss my crime. Wasn’t my fault the scriptwriter didn’t know how to write gay characters. I felt like a 2D walking cliché with all of my lines becoming obvious segues into predictable sex jokes or nauseating references to tops and bottoms. In my opinion, my improvisations only improved the script.
But no matter how high-profile you think you are, you keep learning you aren’t paid for your opinions.
Just for your face. But mostly your name.
Starring River Wolfe.
Featuring River Wolfe.
With a stunning performance by River Wolfe.
And I’ll be first to admit that I was a know-it-all when I started out. But despite the efforts I’ve given to atone for my past, you can never outrun it. It’s the bedrock upon which you’ll always be judged.
Even when you do something good.
Like punch the shit out of a power-abusing director.
In the end, not much “good” comes out of your “good” act. The whole conversation on the internet now is about how awful a person you are. No one should ever hire you again. It’s speculated how you still get work at all. I likely give killer blowjobs to land every undeserved role.
